24 Recap Hour 8

Previously on "24":  Jack drives real fast and outruns a drone. The guy with the gravelly voice that talked Benjamin Bratt into giving secrets to the Chinese (and what this has to do with the plot we don't know) is the Head Nerd at Nerd Central. Me and Mrs. Recapper think he has a thing for Chloe, who still has that crap on her face. The guy that sits next to the Hot CIA Agent (HCA) is beginning to figure out that it is Benjamin Bratt who framed HCA's husband and Roger Rabbit. Maybe she'll at least give him a full frontal hug when he clears her husband.  However, Benjamin Bratt sends the guy out into the field where he is shot but luckily falls into the nearest yucky river. President Rosland Capital decides he will give himself over to Mommie Dearest which has got to be one of the dumbest Presidential decisions since President Clinton decided to point his finger at America and inform us he did not have sex with that woman, depending on how you define sex. 

Jack and HCA somehow get The Not A Hot Russian (NAHR) to the CIA's makeshift hospital. She is somehow still alive despite having her finger chopped off, being hit by a bus, and an intense Master Chef  (the show on before "24") that featured donuts without the fillings. The Doctor tells everybody that they need to relieve the pressure in her brain by drilling a hole in it. Then maybe after to that, they'll put a band-aid on that finger and she'll be ready to talk.

Benjamin Brat receives a phone call from the shooter that said he shot the guy and he fell into the nasty river and if he survived the gunshot, he'll have the worst staph infection ever.


Jack meets with President Capital. President Capital tells Jack that he's resigning in an hour because he is ill and he wants to go out with a bang. Jack is visibly upset because, deep down in Jack's heart, President Capital is a good guy, even if his daughter is a flat chested wacko.  Jack tries to use his patented Jack Stare, which he uses to get seat upgrades on the airlines, but President Capital has his mind made up.

Jack calls HCA to see if the doctor has done that drilling a hole thing yet and if NAHR is talking. Nope, HCA, she's still in that coma. Jack tells HCA of the President's death wish (it is like raising taxes when you campaigned on "Read My Lips: No New Taxes"). He tells HCA to "wake the (word that rhymes with "itch" that means female dog) up" (which is probably a phrase heard a lot at Hillary Clinton's house).  HCA gets the doctor to wake up NAHR. She gives some information about a disc that is under a floor with an address which is pretty good for coming out of a coma before having a cardiac arrest. (Her day: kills a man, makes love to husband, finger chopped off, watches husband die, kills sister in law, hit by bus, cardiac arrest.)

Meanwhile, the guy that sits next to HCA calls Benjamin Bratt from what looks like the only remaining phone booth on earth and acts like a real little girl, if you ask me.  Benjamin Bratt asks where he is at, so he can send somebody to "get him", which the guy misunderstands as "help him" and Benjamin Bratt meant as "kill". The shooter and the guy have one of the most boring fights in the history of "24" but somehow the guy kills the professional hit man despite being as agressive as a chihuahua.

After President Capital informs Mr. Audrey of his scheme to save London, the President informs him that he'll put in a good word to Vice President Whatshisname. The President then goes into see Audrey who is apparently running the United States from her lap top. He asks to look at a picture of him, Audrey, and Mrs Rosland Capital. It did get a little uncomfortable when the President said, "You've always been a flatsy-patsy".

Jack comes in and removes the tracking device  that apparently every President keeps in their arm. Then, in a stroke of genius, Jack has the President wear "the baseball cap of invisibility" . Jack somehow gets the President out of the hotel with only having to punch one Secret Service Agent. Off they go to the helicopter pad, where Jack shows off  because, of course, he knows how to fly a helicopter.

Back at the Presidential hotel. Audrey freaks out and says everything but "and the worst part is that I never learned how to read". Mr.Audrey, in a moment of being a husband says, "Well, you gotta do what you gotta do".

Jack manuevers  the helicopter to land at Wembley Stadium in the middle of the darkest night, where nobody would notice a helicopter landing (6:55 pm). The President informs Jack that he's given him a pardon. The President walks to the middle of the field, takes off his hat and glasses and soon becomes a former President.  No silent clock.

Discussion Questions:

1)  Of all of the Presidents, I liked President Rosland Capital the best, followed by President Allstate, and (for sheer comedy) President Almost Nixon.  Who is your favorite "24" president?

2)  Don't you think that most of the time the Secret Service didn't need a tracking device on President Clinton and just figured he would be at Hooters?

3) It sure gets dark early in London, doesn't it?

4) Everyone contemplates their mortality, however, you got to think getting blasted by a drone in the middle of Wembley Stadium does not make most folks' "Top 20 Ways to Go ".

5) I think Chloe likes working in a pub because it is dark and people can't see her makeup. Agree?