Thursday, October 29, 2009

Mad Men Recap

Episode Eleven, “The Gypsy and The Hobo” was the episode in which Betty finally found out why all of Don Draper’s shirt had the initials ‘DW’ instead ‘DD’ on them.

This was an amazing episode, really. Jon Hamm will probably win an Emmy, Oscar, Tony, and a Nobel (if they don’t give the President another one) for his amazing ability to transform from somebody cool enough to date the hottest teacher in school while married to the hottest wife in Ossining, to a great big dork.

It all started when Betty took the kids back home to Pennsylvania to work on her late father’s estate. As soon as Betty backed out of the driveway, Don was heading straight to Miss Future Hippie’s home for a little extra credit. Don had just gotten a bonus and of course instead of spending it on, oh, his family, he wants to take his chick out to Mystic, Connecticut.

While at her father’s house, Betty confides in the family lawyer that Don is a big fat great looking doo-doo head and wonders what to do. The lawyer tells her to stay with him then hands her a bill of $1500.00.

The boring subplot revolves around Roger and a client, who, now get this, turns out to be an old girlfriend from the 40’s. (Do you have a feeling the same thing is going to happen to Don some time around 1979?). This client eventually makes the moves on Roger, which he declines. What? Morals from Roger Sterling? It just goes to show you that the times they were a-changin.

Meanwhile, Don and Miss Future Hippie have this weekend getaway all planned out. Don has to stop by Draper Mansion to pick up some clothes and is greeted by Betty.

Betty confronts him about his box. Don spills the beans about being Dick and how it was easier to be Don than Dick. He was poor. He didn’t know when and how he would have ever told her that his name is Dick and not Don. “Pass the Corn Flakes; say did I ever tell you that Don Draper is my assumed name?”

Betty listens to this and conveys all of the emotion January Jones learned at the Wooden Hot Blonde Actress Studio. Don heaving all of this heavy emotional baggage on her and she looked like she was watching “Bonanza”.

Even though Don left Miss Future Hippie in the car and she eventually had to walk back home, seemed upset when Don called her to break off their affair. Just like all of the other Dads. Oh well, Miss Future Hippie, Woodstock is only six years away and you’ll still be young.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

This Week's Picks!

Here it is: Halloween! In the olden days (cue fiddles playing “Red River Valley”), that meant the Major League Baseball season had been over for a couple of weeks. Now it means we are in the middle of the World Series.

Now that my son, the formerly great 38, is off at college doesn’t mean we can’t relive Halloween memories like the time his costume was “The Man with No Face” and one of our neighbors called him Darth Vader. Or his “Man with a Baseball Sticking in His Eye” (followed, of course, by the November 1st visit by “Men from DEFACS”)

I remember being “Casper the Friendly Ghost” once for Halloween. Casper was either, “the friendliest ghost you know” or “the friendliest ghost, you know?” Were there other types of ghosts like “Marvin, the Moody Ghost”, or “Eugene, The Annoying Snort through His Nose When He Laughs Ghost”?

This week’s picks!

The World’s Biggest Substance Abuse Social: UGA and Florida play their annual “big” game, which, over the past twenty years, haven’t been that big for the puppies. The Gaters aren’t winning people over with style points, they are just winning. They’ll win again.

Just Buzzing Along: Tech took care of Old Viginny last week. Saturday, they’ll scrimmage against Vanderbilt. If this was an English test, I’d go with Vandy, since it is football, Tech rambles on. Tech wins.

Win One For Pee-Paw: The Werewolves of Raleigh travel to FSU to give the old man the pleasure of whopping up on them.Dag gum. FSU beats N.C. State.

What Will Lane’s Excuse Be This Week? I believe Tennessee has hopped over UGA as the number two team in the East for the future. But, Lane, dude, you’ll never make it in the SEC if you have stroke after every loss. Bamy didn’t win because of the officials. Missing some field goals might have something to do with it. You’re making the South Carolina coach look almost Presidential. Anyway, I’m picking the Chickens. Lane’s Excuse will be: “The Officials are Gay”.

Game I Won’t Watch Because Of “The Office”: North Carolina travels to play the Turkeys on the Thursday Night Game of The Week. No contest: Virginia Tech wins.

The Hey Man Bowl: USC vs. Oregon. The Ducks are having a pretty good season, but this is USC. Could USC have a two loss season? Yep, they will. Oregon wins.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Mad Men Recap

Episode Ten, “The Color Blue” found Don Draper in the arms of his new lover, Ms Future Hippie. This, of course, was after he lied to his wife about having to work on the Hilton project. “Working on Hilton” is Don’s little code phrase for hitting on a new chick. He’ll use it for a couple of years, until he hears the phrase “feeling groovy”.

Turns out this new fling has a little brother that likes to bop in at all hours of the night saying such witty things like, “sorry to interrupt you”. Oddly enough, he seems to get into a lot of fights because he has epilepsy, which is news to me.

Meanwhile, at Sterling-Cooper, the British owners are cooking up a 40th anniversary bash to showcase the firm to sell it. This makes Lane’s wife happy, because she misses London and figgy pudding. Old Man Cooper doesn’t want to go because he’ll have to wear shoes or something.

Then something amazing happens: Betty Draper does something that is close to work. That’s right, Betty is doing the laundry. She finds a key that goes to that super secret desk drawer that Don is always locking. Betty puts two and two together and decides to…..unlock the drawer. In the drawer, she finds some comic books and a Playboy.

No, really, she finds all of this Dick Whitman stuff and the divorce from the original Mrs. Draper. She awaits Don’s arrival so she can confront him about this stuff.

Of course, this being Don Draper, means he can come in at all hours of the night for an early 60’s version of a booty call. Ms.Future Hippie’s brother got a new job and Don, in an unusual moment of turning down sex to do something almost decent, offers to drive the brother to Bedford, Mass. That seems like pretty fair distance from Tarrytown, but hey, you know Don. The brother convinces Don to go ahead and let him out of the car because, I guess he likes to walk in the cold.

The pointless subplot of the week has Peggy and Paul competing over the Western Union account. Actually, it is just Paul acting like a sixth grader. We see Paul drink and fall asleep. I don’t think Peggy has to worry about this.

Well, the big night arrives and we are treated to the scene of Don Draper accepting an award while Betty knows that he might be somebody else. Maybe, it is hard to tell with Betty. She might have been thinking about her hair.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This Week's Picks!

Last weekend, Mrs. This Week’s Picks and I traveled down to Statesboro, Georgia, home of the official “Statesboro Blues” for Parent’s Weekend. This is a weekend designed to make sure that your offspring has not become a Goth or Emo, or worse, an English major in college. The festivities included a visit to the holy shrine of Statesboro: Daylight Donuts. If Krispie Kreame donuts took steroids, they would be Daylight Donuts. Every time I’ve been there, I’ve been treated like royalty.

Unlike a certain fast food place there that name rhymes with “Tonic”. I ordered a “Number two” (careful) and did not get fries or a drink with my order. Then I had to engage in a scholarly debate with the worker that I had ordered “the combo” because I said, “number two”. It is like the time, many years ago, I would order a Cheeseburger and never get one. I would say, "CHEESEburger” and I would get a hamburger. I would take the burger back to the counter and say, “I ordered a CHEESEburger”. Normal customer service would be: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, let me get you a cheeseburger”. The customer service I got: “Let me debate with you what you said a minute ago. Then I’ll accuse you of racism/sexism/class-ism”. Soon I just gave up because I didn’t want to debate my participation in 500 years of history just to get a slice of cheese. It was just easier that way.

We went to the Georgia Southern/University of Tennessee Chattanooga game in what was probably the coldest, wettest October night in Statesboro history. During the third quarter, after I bought my beloved a hat and poncho to keep her warm and dry, she whispered in my ear the words that every man needs to hear: “Your nose is running”.

This week’s picks!

Bees vs. The Other Virginia: Ok, ok. I believe, I believe! Georgia Tech is the greatest football team of all time. Paul Johnson should be mayor. This Virginia team has started off slow, but has had a good October. No matter. Tech is just a stronger team this year.

Crocs vs. Other Bulldogs: One ray of warmth last week in Statesboro was the news that Florida was losing. Yay! But to the dreaded Petrino Pigs. Boo! Talk about a dilemma. Anyway, Timmah and the gang eked out a win and are going to Stark-vegas to meet Mississippi State. It would make their year to beat Timmah’s Team. They won’t. Florida wins once more.

Bamy vs. The Young Hot Mrs. Kiffin’s Husband’s Team. Have you ever noticed that when everybody talks about Tennessee it always dissolves into some porn talk? “I hate Lane Kiffin cause he’s such a big jerk but his wife is so hot. One day I was in Knoxville, and I stopped at a BP and there she was. I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, but she….…” I don’t care how hot she is, there is no way they are going to beat Bama. Tide rolls up a win.

Whoo-wee vs. Ya-hoo: Bobby Petrino brings the Pigs to Mississippi and is a five point dog. Ole Mess has been a big disappointment this year. Pigs win, but I’m not happy about it.

The Eagles vs. The Homosexuals: The Mighty Eagles will play Appalachian State and I predict the Eagles will smite the Mountaineers with a smite that will make them stay smitten. Eagles win.

The Cole Rudder Special: Birmingham-Southern is playing The University of The South (Sewanee) or is it Sewanee University of The South? Anyway, it is the alma mater of the editor of Newsweek; therefore, I hope Birmingham-Southern smites them as well.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

This Week's Picks!

Well, I guess Georgia won’t have to worry about Tampa or Orlando this year. Maybe not even Nashville or Shreveport.

Last week, UGA suffered its worst loss in the Marc Richt era when it lost to Tennessee 40 billion to nothing.

It wasn’t that, but it felt like that. UT, which has seemed flat over the past couple of years, actually looked like a football team that cared on both sides of the ball. Who was that and what have they done to Jonathan Crompton? He had the best game of his life last week. The game is already being called “The Knoxville Knockout”, with good reason. It knocked out Georgia from Tampa and Orlando. I guess you can say the Dawgs will be home for Christmas and you can count on them.

This week’s picks!

Couldn’t Have Happened at a Better Time: Georgia vs. Vanderbilt. UGA needs to beat at least one team in Tennessee this year. Vandy had their one good year last year. Dawgs rebounds against the Commode-doors.

Can’t Pick A Loser In This Game: Georgia Tech vs Virginia Tech. The Bees beat Bobby’s Boyz last week. Va Tech has the ugliest uniforms this side of the Oregon Ducks. I’m tempted just to say “Tech wins” and leave it at that. I would like to think Buzz is better. I just don’t think they are there. Yet. The Hokies win.

Like I’m Supposed To Care: USC vs. Notre Dame. Yawn. USC is like a pro team. Our Lady needs overtime to beat Washington that beat….never mind. I still think USC is going to win.

Red River Hoop-De-Do: Texas vs. Oklahoma. Texas may or may not be the number two/three team in the nation. They slapped the Sooners silly last year. They will continue to slap. Texas wins.

Roll Chickens: Bama vs South Carolina. I’m almost ready to jump on the Bama band wagon, but they should have beat Ole Miss like the way Tennessee did UGA. South Carolina is better than they look, but they won’t be good enough. Bama wins.

Parents Weekend: Mrs This Week’s Picks and I are heading down to Statesboro (Home of Blind Willie McTell) for the Parents Weekend so we can hug and squeeze our little offspring that we saw..last week. Georgia Southern is playing the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga. Eagles win. GATA!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Full Disclosure

In the paper of record for Cobb County, The Marietta Daily Journal, we have a vigilant member of the fourth estate that keeps its watchful eye over the Cobb County Board Of Education. In fact, sometimes the paper reads like “The Board of Education News”.

Recently there has been a bit of a dustup concerning columnist Dick Yarbrough. He wrote a column, published in the September 26, 2009 edition in which he commented on Dr John Crooks and the Cell Phone Tower at East Valley Elementary School. Here it is for your pleasure:

Then a Mr. James Ney wrote a letter to the editor complaining about the article. Read it for yourself.

Which lead to this letter from a Ms Virginia Gregory.

Just in case you don’t want to read it, Mr. Ney felt that Mr. Yarbrough's column was almost sacrarelgious. Instead of dealing with this question, Ms. Gregory went straight for the jugular of Mr. Ney exposing that he, dah-dah-dun, is an attorney whose firm, gasp, works on CELL PHONE LEASES.

But what I thought was interesting about Ms. Gregory’s letter was her insistence that writers of letters to the editor in a small news daily provide a small biography so the writers do not unethically try to sway public opinion. After a couple of paragraphs about how ethical she is, she states:

“Full disclosure is a central tenant of ethical behavior in the financial industry. If only it were enforced more often, we would all live in a wealthier, better governed society. If a person is caught "talking their book" (pushing an agenda in which he holds a pecuniary interest) without disclosing that interest, the regulators (FINRA) rightly go after that person's license. Businesses profiting from relationships with the government and elected officials ought to disclose that relationship first, then offer opinions.”

Yes, if it were only enforced more often in the Letters to the Editor section of the Marietta Daily Journal, we would be richer and much better governed.

Despite Ms.Gregory’s ad hominen attack on Mr. Ney , I began thinking that I should make a full disclosure in case I have the urge to write the Marietta Daily Journal a letter to the editor about a cell phone tower on Lower Roswell Road.

First, I am a Deacon at Roswell Street Baptist Church, where John Crooks serves on staff. I have had nothing but pleasant dealings with him but you have to remember that RSBC is a mega church. So I’m not in constant contact with him. It’s not like I’m Howard Borden bopping in on Bob and Emily every night.

Second, I own a cell phone. Third my in-laws live near East Valley. Fourth, I went to East Valley (once hit a triple in recess. Boo-yah!) and think it would really stink if I was stuck in a building that had asbestos in it. I mean, play on a play ground that had all of these cell phone rays around ready to fry me. Fifth, I am a father and I wouldn’t want my son to fry under the cell phone rays. Although, now that he’s in college, I wished he’d shave more.

Anyway, I really do not know enough about the East Valley Cell Phone Tower issue that would prevent me from not having my tires slashed; however, I do think it is a lot ask people to give a full biography when they write a letter to the freaking editor.

What if I just want to write to say hey? “Dear Editor, Alan here, the deacon at Roswell Street Baptist where John Crooks serves. Saw him yesterday getting a cup of coffee. Say, what is going on with Funky Winkerbean? Years ago it was about a kid in high school. Now it is about everybody getting cancer and not having arms."

What if I want to comment on an Around Town column?

“Dear Editor,

As an alumnus from East Valley Elementary School with a cell phone in his pocket, I can confirm I saw Philip Goldstein. He must be up to something.”

I’m beginning to understand why nobody ever asks my opinion on major school board issues.

Mad Men Recap

Episode Eight, “Souvenir” was sooooooooo dull that I forgot to add it to my weekly recap. Here it is: Betty and Don. Italy. Get it on. Pete is by himself. He finds somebody new to force himself on. He feels bad about it. Betty and Don come home. Betty goes back to being psycho Ice Queen.

Episode Nine, “Wee Small Hours” has Don agonizing over working for Conrad Hilton, who calls at all hours of the night to tell Don about the idea of a hotel on the Moon. This causes Don to go into work early. While driving in he sees Miss Future Miss Hippie Teacher jogging. This makes Don postpone going to into work for a minute to offer her a lift home and a few moments of Donny time. He lays on the charm pretty thick, but she is all into Martin Luther King and the “I Have A Dream” speech.

Back home at Casa de’ Draper, Betty is having a dream and it is not about children holding hands. Betty is on her ugly couch she bought and then, well, I won’t go into great detail, but you won’t need your little blue pills, if you know what I mean.

Betty decides to write her dreamboat (ha!) a letter. He responds. One thing leads to another and Rockefeller holds a fundraiser at her house. Rocky doesn’t show up. Neither does Betty’s dream lover. Betty goes to his office to confront him and then decides that she doesn’t want to fornicate, at least not then.

Meanwhile at Sterling-Cooper, Sal Paul Lynde is working as a director on a cigarette commercial. The cigarette company guy puts the move on Sal, but Sal refuses. The cigarette guy calls Harry Crane, who job is to look like every other Dad in my neighborhood growing up and tells him to fire Sal. Harry doesn’t.

Hilton comes in and given the full Draper presentation. How do you say Hamburger in Dutch? Hilton. Hilton is unimpressed and chews out Don. Of course, maybe if he let Don get a full night’s sleep may he’d come up with something better. Hilton storms out, a total embarrassment to Don. But then again, Hilton will have a grand daughter named Paris, so it evens out.

The cigarette man comes into the office to watch the commercial and pitches a hizzy and stomps out. Sterling sees this and fires Sal and then in a great moment of management tells Harry to take Sal to Don to figure it out.

Don is not too pleased with this and decides to let Sal stay fired. Sterling comes in and threatens Don. Don is over his head, he says.

Being that this is Don Draper, he has three options. One, he can run off and adopt the identity of a dead man, but he’s already done that, and you can’t do that too much. Two, he can just run off. But he did that in California. Three, he can hop in to the sack with Miss Future Hippie. He chose three. As we knew he would.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

This Week's Picks!

Last week I did something I have never done before: watch a Division Three game via the Internet.

It was Birmingham-Southern vs. Trinity University. We have a buddy on the Birmingham-Southern team and it was really neat to see him play over, as President Bush used to say,” The Internets”.

The game was played at Trinity University. Trinity describes itself as “An inspiring faculty, bright and engaged students, an energized community, and the chance to do it all. We are also Presbyterians.” Trinity is in San Antonio, Texas. I know everyone who goes to San Antonio, goes to the Alamo and Trinity University. Incidentally, the other day Franke Wilmer was there speaking on “The Role of Energy In Shaping International Relations and Human Rights”. I know what you are thinking: Party!

This week’s picks!

The Unfortunate Celebrants vs. Dullenters. Georgia lost last week, in part, because they were not Tardy to the Party. Really, it was the dullest celebration in the history of football celebration. Georgia is fortunate not to be 0-5, but then again, they could be 4-1. Tennessee, what can you say? It seems like they are getting better in each game. Can they beat UGA? Sure. Will they beat UGA? Nope. Dawgs win.

Buzzers vs Pee-Paw: Really, retire already Bobby before Jimbo becomes 79. Tech wins.

Tigerauxs vs. Hope Tim Feels Better: The whole Gator nation is praying that Timmah Tebow is well enough to play. Yeah right. Tebow could have one leg blown off, no ears, a glass eye, and a spastic colon and they would expect him to play. It is said the concussion has already had a lasting effect on Tebow. He was caught watching, “The Girls Next Door”. I’m not sure LSU is a strong as Florida. Florida wins.

Eagles vs. Heels: Georgia Southern travels to Chapel Hill for a “pay me” game against UNC. It would be sweet for Georgia Southern to win. They won’t. Tar Heels win.

Pigs vs. Tigereaglesplainsmen: I haven’t written about Awe-burned this year because I thought they would stink. They haven’t. I root for anybody over Arkansas. Auburn wins.

Cornyhuskers vs. Mizzouri: Mizzo is one of those schools that nobody talks. Nebraska is as dull as the state. Mizzo wins.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Faberge Egg

I remember being in fourth grade at East Valley Elementary School (or as we said it:” Eas Valley Elemenery Skool”) singing about the inauguration of President Richard Nixon. We sang:

Oh Richard Nixon, President of The USA!
Oh Richard Nixon, he will save the day.

Of course we didn’t sing that back then. They were too busy trying to teach us reading and writing and trying to crush our souls and not giving one whit about our self esteem. And paddling, boy did they like to paddle back in school back then. In fact, if we did sing song like that it would have sounded like:

Oh, (wham) Ow! Richard (wham) Ow! Nixon, (wham)

I guess you are expecting another right wing rant against the love affair some people have with President Obama. It is weird to see school children, singing about how great a President is, like he is some Dear Leader. As weird as it was when the President came into office being followed by a YouTube video of various “stars” pledging an “oath” to the President, including one oath not to flush after number one.

I think one of the things some people are realizing about the President is that the idea of President Obama was better than the fact of President Obama.

Here we had a self made man. Ok, an Oprah made man, but you get my point. He comes out of nowhere to win the White House. He not only defeated a true American hero (John McCain) and the best looking female/dingy politician in my life time (Sarah Palin), but also Hillary Clinton, who had spent the previous eight years measuring drapes in her mind.

Unlike President Bush, whom I like, but let’s face it, often seemed like a kid in school trying to ask for a hall pass, Obama could link a subject to a verb.

Above all, here was a man who was half-African and half Caucasian that was a law school professor. This is a liberal’s super-duper fantasy.

Nobody could argue with his huge brain or his rhetoric. Yes, we can have hope and change and skittles with Unicorns, and non-fattening milkshakes. All you got to do is sit down and talk to people and they will be captured in his wavelength.

Iran-easy pisy. Gitmo. Shut it down. Health care for everybody. Hey, here’s a stimulus package on top of that.

Things haven’t quite worked out that way. The economy is still sluggish, to be nice about despite billions of dollars to Democratic cronies. You can’t really shut Gitmo down. Iran is almost out of control.

Which leads to Healthcare.

I think this occurred: while talking about Healthcare with Rahm Emmanuel, Emmanuel mentions that the mistake they made in the Clinton White House is that they had a plan. Then people read the plan. Rush Limbaugh. Hate happened and the Healthcare Reform got tabled. So The President and Emmanuel decide to have their “Seinfeld” moment. Like Jerry and George, they decided that the Healthcare plan would be about nothing: no plan equals no complaints from those right wing bigots goobers that we depend upon for our tax revenue.

So they farmed it out to the House, which, on the Democratic side of the aisle, is nuts. Pretty soon the President had to go around and tell people that he had no plan, but if he did, killing Pee-paw was not a part of it. No sir, I don’t have a plan, but it I did, it would not include waiting for years to have Open Heart Surgery, that you should just take a pill for anyway.

So here we are, the President has fallen to earth real fast. He lets his Chicago buddies talk him into going to make a pitch for the Olympics, forgetting that in the past 30 years, the Olympics have been in the United States four times. (It’s true: Winter Olympics in Lake Placid and Salt Lake City; Summer in Los Angeles and Atlanta).

The President’s sales pitch, if you could call it that, should have been titled: “It Would Be Really Cool For Me To Get The Olympics”. It didn’t work, and the President left with just an inkling of knowing what it was like to be George W, Bush.

It looks like instead of a Roosevelt, we have a Carter. Instead of a Reagan, we have a Ford.

Chris Matthews reminded people that Obama had “a lot of crap left on his door”. We’ve had 44 Presidents and with the exception of one (Washington) all of them complained about what the last President left him with. John Adams said, “That Washington with his wooden teeth and all. He never told a lie. Yeah right.”

It looks like the mainstream media, in an effort to: a) right a social injustice and b) sell books, magazines,newspapers, and DVDs, decided not to ask the Senator from Illinois any tough questions. No, instead they treat him like a Faberge Egg. The problem is he doesn’t look that special at all.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Mad Men Recap

Episode Seven, “Seven Twenty Three”, is almost as gross as last week’s episode that feature a lawn mower running over someone’s foot because it featured the comically named Duck Phillips and Peggy doing what in the late 80’s we called “The Wild Thang”. Let’s face it, Peggy is an acquired taste in the looks department and Duck is just creepy to the nth degree.

At the Draper castle, Betty has an interior decorator because, hey, Don makes all of this money. The actress who played the interior decorator must have thought she was supposed to do an imitation of Lovie on “Gilligan’s Island”. Betty, of course, has to drag Don into her pretension. Don amazes everyone with his insight on where to put an end table.

Don gets to office and guess who is there? Conrad Hilton. Hilton wants Sterling-Cooper to handle three of his hotels. This makes Don the star of Sterling-Cooper, if he wasn’t already. The Big Three (Roger Sterling, Old Man Cooper, and the British guy) want Don to sign a three year contract with Sterling-Cooper for a lot of money. This makes Don mad, for reasons unknown.

Meanwhile, Betty has the Ossing Junior League because she wants to be a Secretary so she has an excuse to ignore the children besides her usual (massive depression). The Junior League is up in a tizzy about a water tower and Betty knows just the man to talk to: the man who wanted to touch her belly at Roger’s party.

Over the weekend, an eclipse takes place. For some reason, Miss Future Hippie Teacher is leading a group of kids in making a box you can watch the eclipse with. Her and Don get into a conversation in which she makes in clear that she is not only a Future Hippie but a tease.

Someone who is not teasing is Peggy, who after getting a royal undeserved reaming by Don, runs over to return an ugly scarf Duck gave her. Well after she informs Duck she would rather work for someone who constantly berates her for doing good work, Duck makes his big Duck move on her. This makes the first idea Duck has had that works in years.

Betty meets that Rocky’s aide at a bakery. Betty then proceeds to bore up the joint with revelations that she went to Bryn Mawr and she studied anthropology. As they leave the bakery, they spy an ugly couch that Betty buys much to the horror of the interior decorator (this takes ten minutes).

Roger decides to lean on Don about the contract. Don does his usual ‘if it is not from my mind, it must not be important’ pout. When Don goes home, Roger calls the house and speaks with Betty, informing her of the contract, which must have been the first non-Betty thought she had the entire day. Don comes in, Betty confronts him. Don leaves, because that he what he does when he gets mad with Betty.

While driving through the night on a two lane road, cig in one hand, booze in the other (aw, the good old days). Don picks up a guy and girl that are going to Niagara Falls to get married.

Don showing the typical Draper wisdom, takes a couple of pills from the couple, who ended up beating him up and stealing his money, but not before Don imaging his step-dad berating him for having soft hands.

Don shows up to work and Old Man Cooper is sitting at Don’s desk. In the first season, Pete exposed Don’s true identity as Dick Whitman to Old Man Cooper. Old Man Cooper reminds Don that he knows Don’s big secret. So Don signs. This could have been done days ago over the phone.