Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Summer Fun In College Football

Summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime. Summertime. A time when we can look forward to the end of the NBA season. More good news: the NHL season ended last week, if you didn’t know. If you saw the highlights, several players did not know it was over either. Anyway, the Chicago Blackhawks are Your Stanley Cup Champions. A grateful nation says: Yay.

All of this cannot take away from the non-stop action of The Fifa-Long John Silver’s-NAPA Auto Parts World Cup, played in South Africa, home of the non-stop horn blowing. Soccer is the world’s sport and the world can have it as far as I’m concern.

However, the biggest sports news of the past few weeks, besides an umpire missing a call Stevie Wonder could have made, is from our favorite professional sport: College Football.

One, the University of Southern California was put on double secret probation by the NCAA for what it did in 2004. The NCAA may be slow, seeing that it is now six years later, but they finally got USC for numerous infractions involving Reggie Bush, who apparently needed living quarters for his parents while he was in college. Strange, I have a college student son, and no one has ever offered me any living arrangements.

I knew something bad was going to happen when Pete Carroll bolted for the NFL. USC went right out and hired Lane Kiffin, professional hygiene product, as their new head coach. Although it is not fair that Kiffin will have to work with a program on a two year probation from bowl games and the loss of 30 scholarships, I think I can sum up the reaction of the sports following public when I say: Ha, Ha.

The other really big news was that Texas decided not to join the Pac-10.

That may not strike you as big news, seeing that Texas does not border the Pacific Ocean, but for a while it seemed like Texas, and their Sooner cousins were going to pull up stakes in the Big 12 Conference and move over to the Pac-10. That would have been huge because Texas would have to travel to Pullman, Washington instead of going to Waco, Texas to kill another team.

But Texas stayed put (as did Oklahoma) in the Big 12 which is now the Big 10 because Colorado left for the Pac 10 and Nebraska left for the Big 10 which is now the Big 12. Got that? Not sure if I could explain that again.

It is a win-win for Texas. Texas was given some big TV network to showcase their games. Since now there are only 10 teams in their conference, they don’t have to have a Conference championship game, which face it, only the fans like.
Texas can beat OU in late September and then cruise to a BCS bowl game without having to schlep up to Kansas City in December.

Although Texas stayed in the Big 12 soon 10 for Texas reasons, I like it. I like the idea of conferences, sis-boom-bah and I like the idea of universities pretending they see the football players as students. It helps me to sleep at night.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

You Read It Here First: President Romney

Before “Humor Me” there was “Alan’s Alley”, my 2006 attempt at a blog.

My idea was to write funny things and make political comments in a funny way. I ran into two problems. One, I didn’t realize that I could write and edit before I post. So I would write a blog, post it, go and read it and it looked like a chimp wrote the article. Secondly, this caused me to use up a lot of time which I didn’t have because of other commitments.

But, I wrote this in September of 2006 in which I listed the six people I thought had a chance at being elected President in 2008. Here it is:

Looking back, I thought I did pretty well. I predicted the Obama mania. Sort of. I predicted the media love feast with Obama when I said he would have a “force field around him because the Mainstream Media is not going to tear down the first really serious African American Presidential candidate that doesn't speak in aliteration.” But, I thought Obama would not beat Hillary, but rather she would bow out for some Bill related reason.

Now I am ready to make my prediction about the 2012 election. Only two people have a chance at being elected President in 2012. One is already President: Barack Obama. The other one is Mitt Romney.

There is a slight possibility that the far left will challenge the President in the primaries. There is a possiblity I will be drafted in the NBA draft. Like it or not, the Democrats are stuck with Barack Obama,for there is no one out there, save Hillary Clinton, that could take him on in the party. If there is one thing the book Gamechange made clear, is that there are a lot of Democrats that simply can’t take The Hill and Bill Show.

Why Romney? One thing Bill Clinton has said that I agree with is this: Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line. That is the only way you can explain a Jimmy Carter over a Scoop Jackson or a President Ford over a Ronald Reagan.

Despite dropping out early, Romney is seen as the guy who came in second. In the Republican party over the past 30 some odd years, the guy who came in second, generally became the nominee the next go around (Reagan…Bush…Dole…McCain) and there is no reason to think it will change this time.

What about the others? Please. Huckabee and Haley Barbour: too Southern. Pawlenty, Daniels, Thune: too unknown. Jindal: too young.

The only one who could possibly win the Republican nomination is Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin was probably the first Vice Presidential candidate to work a pair of jeans really good, if you know what I mean. But, she is the canidate that Obama would love to face because the media would go back into their lap dog mode to keep Palin out of The White House. She is the only Republican who can match Obama in sheer charisma, but she doesn’t match up well against him.

What Romney has going for him is his background. He has a background of coming in a taking over troubled companies, troubled events (2002 Winter Olympics) and troubled states (Massachusetts) and leaving things better than he found them.

This matches up well against Obama who, let’s give him a break, hasn’t been a complete failure, he’s just been a failure because he had no idea what he wanted to do as President except what he remembered from college dorm room bull sessions. I’ve halfway expect him to come up with a car that runs entirely on water.

Romney does have his liabilities. Conservatives and particularly Tea Party folks are suspicious of his manadory health insurance for Massachusetts. While he’s not a Walter Mondale or a Bob Dole, he’s not charismatic as Obama.

However, Romney’s skill sets are those that will look attractive in 2012, especially if unemployment is still at ten per cent.

But, as I said in 2006: I could be wrong.