Tuesday, November 23, 2010

This Week's Picks

Here we are at the tail end of the regular season of our favorite professional sport, College Football, and at Picks Central we are busy preparing for Thanksgiving so let’s get to it.

This Week’s Picks!

Dawgs vs. Bees: Meh. That describes both seasons for UGA and GT. UGA has been one long boring soap opera while Tech has just been simply uninteresting. Both lost to schools they had no business losing to (Colorado for UGA; Kansas for Tech) and each have fairly good reasons for having mediocre seasons. Tech is already bowl eligible (Rah) while Georgia has to win this game to even go to a bowl. Tech would love to knock UGA out of the bowl picture, I guess. It is hard to tell this year. Georgia wins.

Bam vs. Cam: Everybody knows the state of Alabama is ape fecal over college football and in serious need of medication. From the time a person is born in Alabama, they have to pledge allegiance to either the University of Alabama or Auburn. Pity the poor child who says, “I like UAB”. Children like this are usually left at orphanages with toe tags reading ‘Do Not Feed-Monster’. There is a radio talk show host in Birmingham who makes the point that if the Tide loses to Auburn this year, Nick Saban’s record against Auburn will be 2-2. There’s probably somebody now trying to start up a “FireNickSaban.Com” web site. I think Bama’s offense is much better than the Auburn defense. But, then again, the Bama defense has never faced anybody like Cam Newton. It is a coin toss in my mind. I would like Auburn to win simply to keep Boise State out of The BCS Championship game. Even though they have two losses, Bama is still a bear (ha, ha, get it?). But if Bama wins the guy at the gym will go on all day about how Auburn was not that good. If Auburn wins, he’ll still say Auburn is not that good. I’m not picking this one, Happy Thanksgiving.

The State of Boise vs. The State That Has Only Two Cities: Did you ever think, in your heart of hearts, dear brothers, that a school in Idaho and a school in Nevada would ever be ranked higher than the University of Georgia? This is supposedly Boise State’s last big test. They will pass. Boise wins. Welcome to a month long of “blah blah” about how Boise State should be in the BCS Championship game.

Went In Dumb-Come Out Dumb Too vs. Piggies: If you can say one thing about LSU this year, it is they are the most entertaining team coached by a retard in the SEC (Arkansas is coached by an evil retard). You know my rule: never pick Arkansas. LSU wins.

Meechigan vs. The Ohio State University: This is like the Alabama-Auburn game of the North, except nobody dies and nobody cares. Michigan has a quarterback that needs a haircut and Ohio State has a quarterback that forgets to show up in big games. I generally pull for Michigan in these games, but they are not the Victors of Yore. Ohio State wins.

Georgia Southern vs. South Carolina State: Playoffs? In college football? In the FCS, there is, and somehow the Georgia Southern Eagles made it in with a 7-4 record. I haven’t heard a thing about South Carolina State. Eagles win.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

This Week's Picks

More news from the (soon to be mighty) Kennesaw State Owls: the students have voted for a $100 per semester fee increase to start up the Football Owls. This means alumni, such as your humble scribe, will soon be receiving fundraising mail. I’m not giving a cent unless the stadium is named: Alan Manis Rockin’ Good News Field. [People will say, "Let's go to The Al to watch The Owls"]

This comes on the heels of the Kennesaw State Men’s basketball team defeating Georgia Tech on Tuesday night. Kennesaw State defeating Georgia Tech is kind of like me defeating George Clooney in a Sexiest Man Alive contest.

My hero, Jeff Schultz of The AJC, posted on Facebook about The Owls victory. I wrote: “All I can say is HOOT, HOOT”. He replied, “Now there is something you don’t hear everyday”. Well get used to it, buddy. The Hooters are here to stay. Maybe that didn’t come out right.

This week’s picks!

The Other GSU vs. Bama: The last time Bill Curry coached in Tuscaloosa, the fine scholars of Alabama threw a brick at him. Maybe it was grenade. In any event, Curry brings the Georgia State Panthers in their first season to play Bama. I’m praying nobody is hurt, killed, maimed, or decapitated. Bama wins.

The Werewolves of Raleigh vs. The Heels of Tar: Considering most of their team was suspended for various reasons, North Carolina hasn’t done too badly. NC State, an employer of one my nephews, has played well this year. I hate to do this to you, Jonathan. NC State wins.

Appy State vs. The Sad Gators: This is a sneaky game. Appy would love to beat Florida. I just don’t think they will. Florida wins.

Dookie vs. Dookie: Georgia Tech is fighting for the right to party—in Shreveport or the awful San Francisco Bowl. Tech should win this one. They will. Tech wins.

Piggies vs. Other Dogs: Yuck. I hate this. Pigs will win.

Wesconson vs. Meechigan: Michigan has a Cam Newton Jr. at quarterback while Wisconsin is like the Michigan of old. I didn’t like what they did to Indiana last week. I’m taking a point off for poor sportsmanship. Wisconsin wins.

Old Mess vs. Went In Dumb-Come Out Dumb Too: Last year, LSU lost the game because the coach forgot how to tell time. This year LSU could show up late and still win the game. LSU wins.

Georgia Southern vs. Furman: Our FCS schedule closes with The Eagles defeating Furman leaving GSU with a 7-4 record. Eagles win.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Bear

The results of the recent elections were very good for Republicans. It was a good swift kick in the behind for President Megamind because the GOP took control of the House of Representatives, putting Nancy Pelosi out to pasture. However, Republicans do have one real big problem if they want to defeat the President in 2012.

Her name is Sarah Palin.

For all practical purposes, Palin is the face of the Republican Party. At least as far as the mainstream media is concerned. She was the Vice Presidential candidate in 2008 and in this impartial observer’s opinion, can really rock a pair of blue jeans. She also seems, and I really hate to say this, dumb as a doorknob.

This fits into the Mainstream Media’s template for Republicans. To them, Republicans are either 1) Evil or 2) Dumb. [Nixon = Evil; Ford = Dumb; Cheney = Evil; Kid Bush = Dumb]

There are a couple of other templates used, like “Old” (Dole and McCain) or “Out Of Touch” (Dad Bush). When none of those works, a variation of Evil is used: “Mean” (Newt Gingrich). Some of the radical ones think Kid Bush was the Daily Double: Dumb and Evil.

The problem is when a Republican is labeled as “Dumb” is takes a lot to counter that label. Ford was a graduate of Yale Law School, just like Hillary Clinton who has never been accused of lacking gray matter. Bush 43 hit the Ivy League Daily Double with degrees from both Yale and Harvard. You wouldn’t know it from popular culture.

Palin’s problem is that she comes off like she is always writing a Facebook status. If she was the President at the start of World War II, she would have Tweeted: “OMG, our so-called friends, the Japanese, just bombed Pearl Harbor!! What the Hey!!!!! Who’s with me to go kick some imperial butt???????”

One point about Palin: she did accept a difficult assignment in 2008 running with John McCain in the middle of an economic meltdown. It was not her fault that the GOP lost and McCain should be given some props for giving a rookie a shot at the big time.

She did rev up the GOP and helped elect some people who will benefit the party for years to come. However, she endorsed some Tea Party candidates that were total Eight Balls. Think of how sweet it would have been if a GOP candidate had captured Vice President Plugs seat? No, we were treated to the spectacle of Christine O’Donnell announcing to the world that “I am not a witch”.

Palin plays right into the hands of the Left. She doesn’t seem to have tried to study or even seems to be interested in anything except “shaking things up”. She is kind of a our Barack Obama: someone with a thin resume and a boat load of style..

Palin brings enthusiasm and a new look to the Grand Old Party. Unfortunately, she is also a bear in the room with lipstick. Republicans are going to have to figure out what to do with her or face another term of President Megamind.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

This Week's Picks

The SEC, in my humble opinion, is the best conference in college football. The coaches and athletes are the best. The fans are the most passionate. Everything about the SEC is a cut above all other conferences.

That being said, The SEC is also the home of some of the biggest crybabies and tattle tails on the face of the earth. One coach is always ratting on another coach for some sort of violation. Somebody is always complaining that the rules are unfair and that somebody else is cheating.

The Cam Newton story, which is your average great athlete sells himself out to the highest bidder story, is like this. Nobody particular cared about Newton before he had this incredible season and put Auburn on pace for the National Championship. He was just another kid that got into trouble at another school and had to go to JUCO to get rehabbed.

Now, it’s as big as Watergate and threatens not only Newton’s shot at the Heisman Trophy but also Auburn’s shot at the National Championship.

I don’t know if Newton got a little something-something for going to the Plains, but I will say this: at least he didn’t sell his jersey. My gosh, could you imagine what would have happened then?

This Week’s Picks!

Dawgs vs. WarTigers: I was asked by a LSU fan if I thought UGA will help them out by beating Auburn. Sort answer: No. Long answer: No way, not this year, but thanks for asking! Auburn wins.

Tech vs. The U of M: Can things get worse of Tech? They lose to the other Tech and their quarterback is injured for the rest of the season. Maybe they can make it to Shreveport. The Hurricanes will win.

JoePa vs. The Only Ohio State University: Joe Paterno wins his four millionth game because he has been coaching since I was in First Grade for the first time. Ohio State is having their typical Ohio State year: win a bunch of games and then lose to a competitive opponent. Ohio State will win this one.

Bamy vs. The Other Bulldogs: Last week I said: “I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bamy run away with this game” about the Bama/LSU game. Of course, LSU won that game. Bama better watch out: this is not your father’s Mississippi State team. If I had any guts I would pick MSU, but I just can’t pull the trigger. Oh well, Bama barley wins.

Georgia Southern vs. Western Carolina: Last week, Georgia Southern (School Motto: “Hey, Just Jiggle The Handle”) beat Appalachian State in a game described by one my son’s Facebook friends this way: “First we were losing, then we won”. Western Carolina is generally one of the weaker sisters in The Southern Conference. Eagles win.

Edinboro vs. East Stroudsburg: Our Fighting Scots finish the year with East Stroudsburg (who is better than West Stroudsburg). Edinboro goes out with a win.

Birmingham-Southern vs. Millsaps: Our pals at Birmingham-Southern finish their season facing Millsaps. Panthers win.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

This Week's Picks

The internet was all a buzz about the pictures of Georgia Defensive Coordinator Todd Grantham giving interim Florida Field Goal Kicker,Chas Henry, the “choke” sign right before Henry kicked the winning field goal for the Gators.

This is very poor sportsmanship on the part of Coach Grantham, but having watching the Dawgs play all year are we really sure he was giving the “choke” sign to Henry and not attempting suicide?

This Week’s Picks!

Dawgs vs. Taters: After a losing a tough game, UGA needed a breather, and they have one in Idaho State, which has won only one game this year. Look, if UGA loses, Mrs. Mark Richt would call for a new Head Coach. Dawgs win.

Tech vs. Other Tech: Paul Johnson is probably happy that UGA is taking up the spotlight, because the Jackets haven’t had that great of a year. VA Tech started slow, but they are coming on strong. Would it be wrong to hedge my bets and say Tech wins? Tech wins.

Aroused Evangelical Lizards vs whatever Utes are: This is one of those games that supposedly will show the world the non-BCS teams are great and hope and change and skittles will fall from the sky. Utah seems to be the better team. Utah wins.

Bamy vs Tigereuax: Bama makes its comeback one game at a time. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bamy run away with this game. Bama wins.

Baptist Bears vs. TBU (T-Boone University): In the eight years I’ve done This Weeks Picks, I can’t remember a time when I have been this excited about a Baylor game. Oh well, they’ll lose. Cowboys win.

Pigs vs. Chickens: Arkansas = Yuck. South Carolina = Good team, coach is always good for a laugh when he spazzes out. Chickens win

Georgia Southern vs. Appalachian State: I’m going to have to do the reverse Mojo on this game so the Eagles can win. Ap State wins but gets beat up in the parking lot.

Edinboro vs. California: You read right, but this is not the University of California, it is California University of Pennsylvania. As their website says, “For more than 150 years, Cal U has been known for its education excellence and for its commitment to the core values of Integrity, Civility, Responsibility, and the Hottest 9.8s in the Metropolitan Pittsburgh area, Yeah come on!” The President of Cal U is Angelo Armenti. Hey, you got a problem with that? Cal is 8-1. The Vulcans win.

Birmingham-Southern vs Rhodes: The Panthers hit the road to play Rhodes College which used to be called Southwest at Memphis is (either that or California University) The Mighty Panthers are 5-3 while Rhodes is 3-5. Panthers win.