Thursday, December 20, 2012

What 2012 Has Taught Me




  • Your core principles and proven success in life are less important than how you took your dog on vacation in 1983.

  • Madonna and Lady Gaga are not related.


  •  Never pay full price for any movie that Will Ferrell is in.


  • People take their chicken sandwiches very seriously.

  • Twitter is not only one of the best things that has ever been invented (you can find some great humor on Twitter) but it is also one of the worst things ever invented.
Pope's Tweet: "Just got The Catholics vs Cousins t-shirt. LOL!!!



  • You didn’t build that.

  • The “rich” (definition: anybody with more money than me) need to pay “their fair share” (definition: more).

  • Movies do not cause people to commit heinous acts of violence, unless, of course, they are Muslims.

  • From Marybeth Sullivan: “2012 taught me that a major league baseball infield extends 225 feet from home plate”.

  • The most precise description ever regarding football from a Brazilian super model married to a quarterback: “You [have] to catch the bouell (ball) when you're supposed to catch the bouell (ball). My husband cannot [curse word that rhymes with ducking] throw the bouell (ball) and catch the bouell (ball) at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the bouell (ball) so many times.”

  • “The Rick Santorum Look” never quite caught on.

  • There will never be another Andy Griffith, Dick Clark, Whitney Houston, Duck Dunn, Joe South or Levon Helm.


  • The guitar in the songs “Stranger In The Night” and “Help Me Rhonda” was played by Glen Campbell, who was a member of a band called “The Wrecking Crew”. “The Wrecking Crew” was a group of studio musicians that played on about a million records in the 60’s and 70’s.  “”The Wrecking Crew” also included Leon Russell and Dr. John.

  • One reason why we need to reemphasize math: Our colleges and universities are stocked with professors in which English is no where close to their primary language.


  • All it takes is a nut and a gun.


  • Maybe replacement referees were not such a good idea


  • The most important book I read all year was The Years of Lyndon Johnson: The Passage of Power  by Robert Caro.  I tweeted about “LBJ” and some thought I was talking about Lebron James.


  • When history classes 100 years from now studies the decline of American power, it will focus on three words:  “Honey Boo-Boo”.

      







Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Comfort and Joy



Has it really been two years since my wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer? It was a Stage One Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. This means the tumor was little (bigger than a dime-smaller than a nickel), but it was metastasizing. If ignored, the Cancer would have spread to her lymph nodes. The lymph nodes are the interstate highways of the body and what happens after that is anybody’s guess but it generally not very good.

We went to a “Breast Specialist”. My high school guidance counselor never told me about this job. I would have stood in line for at least the brochure. You and Breasts: A Winning Team. Tom H. of Colorado says, “I’ve always liked women’s breasts and now I can earn a living specializing in them.”

I’ve always been interested in how physicians decide on what to specialize in. I mean, what makes a person go into proctology, considering it is such a narrow field?  Does a proctologist ever wake up at night realizing his profession isn’t what it’s cracked up to be?  By the way, doesn’t the phrase, “getting a little behind in your work” take on a whole meaning in a proctology clinic?  So, here’s a conversation I had with the doctor, who was a woman, by the way.

Me: “So what made you go into breasts?”

The Doctor: “Oh, I find breasts fascinating.”

Me: “Get out of town! Me too!”

My Wife: “Hey! Remember me? Cancer patient- right here!”

After the Physician/Husband bonding, Lori’s options were explained to us. Actually, the options were pretty simple. One, we could ignore the cancer and hope it goes away.  The likelihood of this happening: zero per-cent.  One thing about cancer:  it will not be ignored. Two, she could have a lumpectomy and radiation therapy and maybe chemotherapy depending on if any cancer had invaded her lymph nodes and what her blood work showed.  The likelihood of this happening: 100 per-cent.

To make a long story short: Lori had the lumpectomy and the radiation treatment. The lymph nodes were not compromised. Her blood work was fine. She did not require chemotherapy. She was placed on Tamoxifen, which according to the leading medical minds of this country (Wikipedia) “is an antagonist  of the estrogen receptor in breast tissue via its active metabolite, hydroxytamoxifen”.  Besides being an estrogen receptor antagonist, Tamoxifen is also the enabler of some the Hottest Hot Flashes a person could have. But, what would you rather have: Hot Flashes or Cancer?

Not to get maudlin, but I feel real blessed that we found Lori’s cancer as soon as we did. Besides the cancer part, all of the news we got during that time was good news.  A lot of people get nothing but bad news. Like my old pal, Ricky.

Ricky was this guy I met when I was going to Louisiana College. He graduated from there and went on to seminary. He earned a PhD and taught Hebrew at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He is now the senior pastor at The Temple Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana. He has Stage IV Melanoma.

One thing good about Facebook: it allows people to reach out and contact those that are going through a crisis.  Ricky has been very honest and brave in his posts. The reactions from his church, former students and friends have been very loving and positive. 

So, when you have a moment, send a prayer up for Ricky and his family. Right now, they need comfort and joy.