Doppelganger

As I have said before (Humor Me: 9/18/13), I love Facebook. I love Facebook mainly because I love pictures of food. I also like the way Facebook provides a way for people to post up uplifting and inspirational words to each other. Once a high school chum took time away from her London vacation to post these uplifting and inspirational words: "Smart Ass Alan Manis". That's what makes Facebook special.

However, there are some annoying things about Facebook.

For example: Tests. I have been taking tests on Facebook to determine which "Looney Tunes" character I am, which side of my brain I use the most , and my aura (whatever that is). It is usually five to ten questions that are as about as unscientific as you can get: ("Do you like oranges?") and somehow uses some sort of algorithm to determine Which Broadway Musical I Would  Be (Answer: "Fiddler On The Roof")

There's also an "app" which makes you into a cartoon. It is called "Bitstrips" and you can post cartoons that you create of you and your friends, if they haven't Bitstripped themselves .

I must admit, the cartoon I made of myself looks absolutely nothing like me. I did much better with the cartoon of my son. The cartoon I made of my wife is downright hot.

I saw a new app called "Which Star You Look Like", which should have been my first clue that this wasn't the most accurate app in the world. The whole point of this app is that it would look at  your Facebook profile picture and then through a lot of "science" post the picture of the "star you look like".

I was halfway expecting "the star I look like" to be whoever played Uncle Fester in 'The Addams Family". But you will never guess  which star this app said I resembled:  Zac Efron.

Alan  Zac

Zac  Alan

This app had my profile picture and a picture of Zac Efron side by side. First the good news: I am a carbon based life form like Zac Effron and I can turn my head in approximately the same direction as he can. Now the bad news: my mailbox looks more like Zac Efron than I do.  I reported this on Facebook and one of my Facebook friends, Duane Hartness asked  "Are you expecting an argument?"

 Zac Efron

I'm not sure what I should do with this information. My wife and I have just celebrated our 28th anniversary and I'm not in the market.  I guess I'm supposed to walk up to a young woman and say, "According to Facebook, I look like Zac Efron" and just watch her melt due to my hotness.

Leave it to Greg Marshall, who I've mentioned before (Humor Me: 3/24/14) to try to lift my self esteem. He said he didn't see the resemblance to Zac Effron, BUT thinks I sort of/kind of/maybe in the right light look like JACK BAUER (Keifer Sutherland). That's like telling Don Knotts that he reminds you of John Wayne.

Jack Bauer After A Really Bad 24 Hours

Alan? I mean, Keifer

Greg even posted a picture of me and Keifer Sutherland together with the question "Separated At Birth?"  Although Keifer Sutherland is seven years younger than me and 4 billion dollars richer, he is only three inches taller I am.  We have the same type of hair style (Great Clips) and we both have beady eyes.

Now, I've never been engaged to Julia Roberts, but I'm from Marietta, Georgia which is next to Smyrna, Georgia, Julia's hometown. On top of that, I'm always yelling at my wife to download the schematics. Me and Keifer are practically twins.

What I'm telling you is this, if I come up to you and ask you to set up a perimeter, you better do it.

Which reminds me, Humor Me will be writing a weekly 24 recap. It will be posted either the Tuesday or Wednesday after the episode airs.