Jack is now inside The Embassy for reasons this blog has forgotten. However, Jack made time to give a trained US Marine guard a Jack Hug which incapacitates the Marine, even though the guard is about twenty years younger than Jack. Chloe tells Jack what room Tanner is held in (Tanner is the patsy for the Drone bombing deaths of two British and two American Army officers). Jack makes it to the room and Tanner looks like the only person in the world that is not surprised Jack is there. Unfortunately, there is another guard there that Jack has to whack. Jack whacks the guard-gets Tanner's key thingy and lets Tanner know that he is the only person on Earth that believes his ridiculous story.
Jack escapes a battalion of Marines by running downstairs to find the Communications Room so he can down load Tanner's whatchamacallit into a computer to prove that Tanner's drone was overtaken by a device created by the dead Georgia Tech grad. Jack puts the thingamabob into the computer, but it is not downloading fast enough. Oh yeah, Jack has to hold all of the people in the Communications Room hostage.
Meanwhile, Mommie Dearest checks in on the progress of the device and her son says it should be ready by the end of the episode if he doesn't take a potty break. The Terrorist Weenie and NAHR are enjoying a moment after the Memphis Mambo. The Weenie tells NAHR that he is going to give up the terrorist game and go into something with a little less death and destruction. Of course, NAHR runs and tattles to her mother that her man crush (NAHR's, not Mommie Dearest's) is going to run off.
This does not please Mommie Dearest. She confronts The Terrorist Weenie. She offers him a chance to "be a big boy" and pilot the drones with the device that should be ready in by the end of the show. He decides this would be a good time to assert his manhood since he has all of this extra Testosterone from his Tuscaloosa Two-Step he was doing a few minutes ago. Mommie Dearest has some low level thugs ("Low Level Thugs" would be a great name for a band) bring in NAHR and cuts off one of NAHR's fingers. This is the moment Twitter official broke. The Terrorist Weenie realizes that if Mommie Dearest would do that to her own daughter, there's no telling what she would cut off of his and he agrees to pilot the drone when the device is ready in the next episode.
President Goldline is finishing his speech to Parliament ("In conclusion, I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler") when Mr.Audrey receives a phone call from Benjamin Bratt advising that The Embassy is under siege and Jack Bauer has hostages. Mr. Audrey tells President Goldline and Audrey that BAUER IS BACK. Audrey swoons like she did when she saw The Bay City Rollers in Baltimore as a flat chested middle schooler.
| S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! |
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| Audrey is thrilled. |
The President calls Jack and they have a nice little chit-chat about the cat video they saw on Facebook. Jack informs the President of this drone device. The President considers all of this information about a terrorist plot and asks Jack if he needs to diversify his portfolio with some gold. Jack refuses which causes the President to send in the Marines.
This was the exact moment my cable went out, but from other resources (Dave Barry), I've been able to piece together what happens after that. The Hot CIA Agent (HCA) gets into the Communications Room by a Air Conditioning vent that is just big enough for a blonde with a rocking body. She has concluded Jack is right, mainly because she is the best looking woman in the country at the moment. As the Marines break down the Jack barricaded door, which is super douper triple barricaded by human standards., she throws herself over Jack so the Marines won't kill him.
Mommie Dearest's son (the child with all of his fingers) has finished working on the device and it will be up and running in the next hour. Maybe so will my cable.
Discussion Questions
1) Admit it, You sort of liked "Saturday Night" by The Bay City Rollers, didn't you?
2) There was a lot of Jack looking at a computer this week. What gives?
3) Would it hurt Chloe's rebel image to wipe off some of that eye make-up?
4) I'm thinking of changing NAHR's nickname to Fingers. Do you like it?
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