This Week's Picks

 The TWP Division III Spotlight Game of The Week  is the John Carroll University Carolers versus the Otterbein University Otters in The Kind of Sort of Battle for Ohio.  John Carroll is "recognized as a leading institution of higher education”. It happens to him all of the time. Someone points and says, “Hey, there’s a leading institution of higher education”.  Most famous alumnus of John Carroll is Don Shula, who is probably more recognized than John Carroll.

Otterbein University is a college whose mission is “to educate the whole person in a context that fosters the development of humane values”. Tuition is 30,658 smackers a year, so the least they could do is educate the whole person. The most famous alumnus of Otterbein is Gordon Jump, who played the radio station owner in the 70’s TV show “WKRP in Cincinnati”. It was Jump that uttered these immortal words, “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

This Week’s Picks!

Bullydogs vs. Commode Doors: Last year’s UGA-Vandy ended with an ugly  cuss fight between Vandy’s Head Coach James Franklin and Georgia’s Defensive Coordinator Todd Grantham. That has been the most physical UGA-Vanderbilt game since Olivia Newton-John was on the charts. Vandy is good…for Vandy. The Dawgs win.

The U vs. The Buzz: Remember when The University of Miami instilled fear in people? They were these thuggish thugs that went around thugging people. Those days are long gone. Tech may not lose a game the rest of year. Tech wins.

Go in Dumb-Come Out Dumb,Too vs. The Plainswartigers: Auburn almost lost to University of Louisiana I-20 last week. LSU is just looking for another soul to steal. Look for this game to get away from Gene real quick and listen for the phone calls to Bobby Petrino.  (“We’ll get you a moter sickle and a blonde of yer choice”) LSU wins.

Meechigan vs. Our Lady:  Notre Dame beat Meechigan State last week which always proves what Mee-Maw Manis used to say: “Don’t ever pick Meechigan State you dumb tard”. Mee-Maw Manis was a blunt woman. She also would say “I’ve hate Notre Dame ever since that Knute Rockne and all that ‘win one for the Gipper’ bullcorn.” I got to hand it to her, she knew her college football. Michigan wins.

Wildcants vs. Quackers:  In my humble opinion, Oregon is the best college football team outside of Tuscaloosa. However, I can only watch them for a few minutes because they are so fast they give me motion sickness. Arizona doesn’t have a chance. Oregon wins.

Georgia Southern vs. Elon:  A couple of weeks ago, the mighty Georgia Southern Eagles were defeated by the Citadel Lords of Discipline in a close game that caused the Georgia Southern faithful to spend a little extra time with their Old Grand Dad, if you catch my drift.. This week brings Elon. The Elon Commitment is “Engaged minds. Inspired leaders. Global Citizens.  The Georgia Southern Commitment is “Find beer. Pour in mouth.  Fall on ground.” The Eagles win.