This Week's Picks

Last week, the student athletes of the University of Georgia played the students athletes of the University of Missouri. This was very important game for Missouri because it was their first game as a member of The Southeastern Conference against a fellow conference member.

Well, Georgia won the game. The blog, Outkick The Coverage posted a picture of a Georgia fan (WARNING! WARNING! FRANK ADULT LANGUAGE) having make-believe carnal knowledge with the statue of the Missouri Tiger. The one thing you can’t take from UGA fans is their class. The fan looked like a white Caucasian male that was not a student. He looked old enough to know better but too drunk to care.

Rest assured, I would say a good 98% of the UGA fan base would not condone grown men having pretend sex with statues of other schools’ mascots. The problem is the 2% and they travel. Sorry they didn’t mention that in any of the meetings about joining the conference.

This Week’s Picks!

College Willing to Hurt Their Students For Money vs. The Dawgs: The mighty Florida Atlantic Owls fly to Athens to pick up a paycheck and to lose of few teeth. Who’s going to beat the Bulldogs? Not FAU. Dawgs win.

Bees vs. Ol’ Virginny: Tech is getting their Virginia schools out of the way early this year. Last year, UVA defeated Tech and you know Coach Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy has been thinking about it ever since. He’s come up with a game plan: Tech will run The Triple Option. You heard it here first. Tech wins.

Tide of Crimson vs. Piggies: Last week, The University of Louisiana That’s In Monroe or Shreveport defeated Arkansas. I know your reaction was the same as mine (HA, HA, HA, HA, HA). For years, I refused to pick Arkansas for a win because their head coach was Bobby Petrino. It might interest you to know that the name “Petrino” is Italian for “Ape Feces”. That’s why at the Rome Zoo, you always hear, “Hey, that monkey just threw some Petrino at me. HEY! BODABOOM BODABING”. Last spring, Arkansas fired Petrino because he hired a hot blonde which caused him to wreck his motorcycle and his marriage. Meanwhile, Bama defeated Western Kentucky Where My Parents Were Born by a billion points. They’ll win again. Bama wins.

Evil Lane vs. The Trees: I hate USC and Lane Kiffin. Like all people washed in the blood of the Lamb, I want Stanford to win. They won’t. USC wins.

The Short Drunken Fighting Stereotypes vs. Sparty: Does anyone really understand Notre Dame’s semi-kinda-sorta football affiliation with the Atlantic Coast Conference? The last time I checked, Notre Dame was in Indiana and nowhere near the Atlantic Coast and/or Ocean. You would have thought they would have joined a conference that is located in the Midwest, like, oh, The Big Ten. Anyway, I look forward to the Notre Dame-Duke football games. Michigan State is a way better team than Our Lady. Michigan State wins.

Reptiles vs. Orange Pants: This is a big game for Tennessee. It is so big that they may wear a Black Helmets. Really. Who in the world thinks this is good idea? Anyway, Derek’s Dudes have performed well so far this season and a win against Florida would help Derek get that validation he so desperately needs from his Mother. Tennessee wins.

Ave Maria vs. Birmingham Southern: Our old pal, Cole Rudder plays for Birmingham Southern which enters this game ranked 18^th in Division 3. They should defeat Ave Maria, which was founded by the guy who started Domino’s Pizza. I always get hungry when I read about this school. Birmingham-Southern wins.