Real Time 24 Recap Hour 6

It has come to my attention that there are those who have never seen an episode of 24. Here is a brief description.

24 is about what happens in a twenty-four hour period of time in the life of Jack Bauer, who is insane. He is also the only thing that keeps the United States safe from various terrorists who tend not to be radical Arab Muslims. He is an agent in the Counter Terrorism Unit, which works as well as most branches of government. So far, they have allowed a nuclear bomb to go off in Los Angeles, two passenger planes to crash into each other, an attack on the Russian ambassador, and a deadly nerve gas attacked the CTU office that not only killed Edgar (one of the few in CTU that you could have possibly worked with) but also Rudy, our favorite scout team player with Notre Dame.

Jack Bauer is aided by Chloe, a sour faced computer tech who can download schematics to Jack’s PDA in seconds. Jack has also been romantically involved with Audrey Raines, who makes Chloe seem like Jessica Simpson. Audrey went insane a couple of hours (years) ago, but you can never discount her from showing up again, whining at Jack about not getting a Pro Flowers gift basket or something like that for her birthday.

The Wikipedia page on 24 says, “A recurring theme is characters being forced to allow tragic events to happen for the sake of a greater good.” Another recurring theme is shooting people in the thigh to get the answer you want.

In Hour 5, the only person in the United States that could go undercover and find the Russian mafia and saw off a person’s thumb is about as crazy as a betsy bug, but Agent Freckles has a way of working to get the deal done.

The Russian mobster named, Vladmir (if you can believe it) is more than happy to hear about the deal for nuclear weapons that Freckles is pitching him. He agrees to the deal only if the buyer (Undercover Jack) pays him $5 million dollars. Somehow in the midst of this, Agent Freckles and Vladmir have a really quick perestrokia and Freckles puts her super-duper hearing aid down the sink. Now Jack has no idea what is going on, but at least he doesn’t have to hear all of that Moscow Lovey-Dovey.

One fly in the ointment. Vladmir plans on killing Jack after the money is transferred to all of these different bank accounts.

Meanwhile back in boredom land, Islamic President Boofy Hair is still cracking down on dissidents that he began cracking down on in hour five. He does this despite the ‘look’ President Woman gave him last week. The European Community tells ones of his aides that this might wreck the peace process, like that hasn’t been heard before in the Middle East.

The redneck plot keeps barrling along like a drunk NASCAR driver. The Not That Hot Tech sets up a heist for Cletus and Jethro to do so she can get back to her duties of saving the world. To top that off, the pathetic Man tech is pining for her (despite her engagement to Agent Chico) and is using his best lines like “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” He monitors the Not That Hot Tech and sees her with Cletus and Jethro. He asks Chole about it and she gets all snippy about men looking at women’s rear ends like it is some kind of crime. And then, Chole walks off and he stares at Chole’s bottom, showing how truly pathetic he is.

Vladmir sends his toady with two other goons out to meet Undercover Jack (whose disguise is a pair of Harry Potter glasses). After the money is transferred, the goons pull a gun on Jack, but they are shot by Agent Chico. Jack gets the toady to take him to Vladmir and Freckles.

Meanwhile, the other Russian plot has Daddy Russian kill sick kid Russian. Now that is a dysfunctional family.