Real Time 24 Recap Hour 9

This hour of 24 begins with Jack and the Russian mobster trying to negotiate with the Not Dead Son to return the nuclear rods. Soon, the Not Dead Son becomes the Also Dead Son due to some sharp shooting by the A-rabs that wanted the nuclear rods in the first place.

Over at the CTU, Agent Freckles is sticking to her story of self defense about stabbing old boy friend Vlad four billion times. Rahm Emmanuel calls and tells Director Bubba that someone from the Justice Department’s night shift is going to come down and interview her because if there is a nuclear explosion in the US, someone’s going to have to take the “fall” for it, even if it is a woman with a hot bod.

Agents Chico goes out hunting for The Not That Hot Tech who is lying in wait to kill Cletus and Jethro after they have a good time with some strippers. He finds her and finally she spills the beans about her sorid past, which includes a Southern accent. She says, and this is almost a direct quote, “I have a fella knee on mah reckord”.

The A-rabs now have the nuclear rods and they decide to use it against the United States. President Poofy-Hair’s rat looking brother is appalled and soon we are treated to another litany about America being the bad guy and they are going to invade us anyway, just like any other movie from Michael Moore.

The Justice Department’s night shift attorney shows up and she is all into Agent Freckles kool aid about it being wrong to kill some body and that her law class would have never sunken so low. This causes Agent Freckles to remember her English Classes in college and she begins to cry and sign a confession that if the US blows up, it is her fault.

Of course, Jack sees all of this and he hops into hyper-Jack mode and his Tased for his efforts. So in the past two hours Jack has been stabbed in the stomach, electrocuded, and tased. All in a day's work, right Jack?

President Poofy-Hair’s brother does not like the kill America plan so he runs off and is shot. He contacts CTU in hopes that they will forgive him for all of the junk he has put them through tonight. Director Bubba agrees to send a team out to rescue him, but Agent Chico is listening to The Not That Hot Tech go on and on about her “paste” that includes the name, “Ja knee”. Since Agent Chico is not around, Director Bubba assigns the youngest most inexperience member of CTU, Agent Archie, to lead the project. Jack steps in and agrees to lead the task since he has nothing better to do at 1:00 in the morning than to save a two face rat that started the whole mess anyway.

Meanwhile, in the only secluded spot in New York City, Cletus and Jethro get done with their floozies. Agent Chico confronts them. Cletus gets religion. Jethro doesn’t and stabs Cletus and begins to attack Agent Chico. Agent Chico blows him away. While he is dying, Cletus says something about Jeff Gordon being Gay. Leaving the Not That Hot Tech to wonder what all of this has to do with the rest of the show.