When we last left 24, Jack was wearing his Harry Potter glasses to prove to some Russians that he is actually German. Renee had to give her all for the sake of the country, if you catch my drift, to Vladimir. The Not That Hot Tech hatched a plan to get her hillbilly ex boyfriend and his good buddy (who makes the ex seem like a MIT professor) some ill gotten gain so they will leave her alone and let her marry Agent Chico, who incidentally saved Jack’s butt with some fancy shootin’.
In this hour, Jack meets with Vladimir and is put off by Vlad’s public displays of affection for Agent Freckles. Vladimir begins dialing for nuclear rods or something and ring-a-dings the nutso Russian mafia guy. The Russian Mafia guy acts like he doesn’t know anything about it and for some reason sends some thugs over to Vlad’s place.
At the UN, President Woman is being her usual ineffective self. She spills the beans about the nuclear rods being on US soil to the British ambassador. Meanwhile, President Poofy Hair is still busy rounding up people he thinks could be a part of the conspiracy to blow him up. He’s still a little touchy about it. One person is his daughter’s boyfriend. Frankly this is the second lamest plot in the show and for some reason everyone whispers and it is hard to hear what is going on.
Cletus and Jethro finally make it to some po-lease warehouse that has all of this here money in it. The Not That Hot Tech has to practically lead them to the stash. They only have 15 minutes to get the cash and run, but, there just good old boys, never meanin’ no harm, been in trouble with the law since the day they were born. Well, they dilly and dally and almost get caught by Johnny Law. But they end up beating him up and making a clean get away.
This little episode takes up a lot of The Not That Hot Tech’s time. Even Director Bubba notices that she’s not all there. This causes Chloe to squint and look like she just ate a pickle.
You are probably thinking: man, nothing really happened in this hour of 24. You are so wrong
Vladimir called all of his contacts and still nobody knew how to get a hold of some nuclear rods. Agent Freckles wants him to call again. He gets mad and punches Freckles square in the face. Agent Freckles hops back up and stabs him like it was Friday the 13th. Jack bursts into the room and Freckles stabs him.
I thought this is it. I keep hearing rumors that Jack bites the big perimeter this year and I thought maybe they were going to kill him off early and let the rest of the season be about Freckles turning into a female Jack. That would be stupid, but TV has never been that smart (See Jay and Conan).
Fortunately, the other Russian goon runs in and Jack flicks the knife at him and kills him. Leading to the best refrain from James Lileks: “Jack Bauer takes a stickin and keeps on flickin’.
The Russian Mobster’s toadies drop by and Jack is taken hostage by them. He thinks CTU can follow them. Wrong. Seems New York has secret underground tunnels and they take Jack to their secret hideout via the underground tunnels.
Next Week: Jack gets the Ever-Ready treatment and Agent Chico finds out about the Not So Hot Tech’s double life.
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