Real Time 24 Recap Hour 5

Hour 5

There are times when you just shake your head and bow to the master. This is by the Tropichunt.com Guy on Dave Barry’s blog.

*Frank Sinatra's "New York New York" begins playing*

Start stabbing the thighs/Jack’s killing today/He wants to be a part of it/New York, New York!
These C4 bomb shoes/are longing to slay/Right through the very heart of Jack/New York, New York!
He wants to shoot at a thug that doesn’t sleep/And find the thrill of the kill – ammo’s so cheap
Those boring plot blues/are wasting away./Jack’ll make a brand new start of it/In old New York!If they can - kill Jack there/They’ll kill him - anywhere!It’s up to Jack/New York, New York!


This was one of those 24 episodes in which they spent a lot of time on people you could care less about. The Russian Mobster’s sons. One is dying from radiation exposure and the other takes him to a doctor he knows someone in the Metro New York area that you can get to in twenty minutes that is also sort of in the country-ish suburbs. On this day, traffic is great. The brothers do not speak in a Russian accent, unlike like their dad.

And the Redneck plot reared its ugly head again. The Not Really That Hot Tech has a past. It seems that she was associated with a hot headed red neck that robbed banks. He was caught and did Hard Time, while she ran off to New York, changed her name and got all fancy with this gubment job. He wants her to help him make one more big score and then he’ll leave her alone.

But that plot is excitement city when compared with Islamic Republic President Big Hair and his wife yakking about their martial problems about hour after he almost got blown to bits. It is a real yawner. On top of that, due to his brother trying to kill him, President Big Hair is rounding up all of the opposition and killing them because that is all they understand. President Taylor doesn’t understand any of this, but then again, she’s not the sharpest Presidential steak knife.

Meanwhile, Jack and Agent Freckles were trying to cauterize a severed thumb with what looked like hydrogen peroxide. Anyway, Freckles calls the thumb-less Russian a cry baby because he had his thumb cut off with a circular saw. Now that is one tough broad.

Freckles persuaded this man to take her to a Russian named, now get this, Vladimir. While she drives the thumb-less Russian to meet Vladimir, Jack is on the phone with Chole to get their “back-story” about why Freckles wants to buy some uranium. In the back-story, Jack’s name is I.P. Freely.

As the song in the 80’s said, one thing leads to another and Vladimir shoots the thumb-less Russian and puts a gun to the head of Agent Freckles all the while Jack is trying to drive to Newton Creek. Yes, the same Newton Creek you’ve heard sung about all of your life.

While Jack is listening through that neat device CTU has that enables him to listen to Agent Freckles unless she is in a trunk of a car, he hears her give a sob story about her life to Vladimir. Oh, cry me a river Freckles. Anyway, he spares her life so we can see her next week walking around in towel.

Bonus Material:

New nickname of other cast members:

Director Brian Hastings = Director Bubba

Cole Ortiz = Chico, Jr.