Real Time 24 Recap Hour 8

When we last left Jack Bauer, he was being led to the Russian Mafia’s headquarters, which is a restaurant that has no customers. This hour begins with the head Russian mobster, who just shot his son an hour before, questioning Jack. Jack, being Jack, does not give him any information.

So the Russians use a car battery and electrocute Jack. They hook it on his feet, put it in his stab wound, and apparently on his “little Jack”. When will the bad guys ever learn? You cannot destroy Jack; you can only make him stronger. While all of this torture is going on, the head Mobster finds the non-dead son and gives him the dead son’s cross. Touching.

Meanwhile, in the plot that won’t go away, Cletus and Jethro are using their ill gotten gain at a strip club. They call the Not That Hot Tech and announce that they ain’t goin away after all because this here is such a good idear. The Not That Hot Tech goes all hookey poolkey but Jethro grabs the phone and grunts out a threat. Things go from bad to worse for the Not That Hot Tech when Arlo, a nerd that wants her for his very own so he can share his Harry Potter drawings, tells her that if she doesn’t tell Agent Chico about what ever is going on, he will. Of course he does and then she wants to tell Agent Chico about, well, there was this robbery and was under age and it was in Hog Waller and that was before I went to computer skool. But, before she can say all of this, she has to get back to dumb old work and save the country.

Director Bubba advises President Woman that he thinks Jack is still alive because he wasn’t killed. Then he tells her about all the different kind of shrimps you can make. Fortunately, Director Bubba is right because after all of the electrocuting, Jack kills his Russian torturer with the patent “Jack Bauer Feet of Death”. Jack then proceeds to run around the restaurant with no shirt or shoes on, which is a health code violation. He manages to call CTU, get Agent Chico to come find him and then captures the Russian mobster.

Over at the UN, the A-rabs are talking about something and the daughter’s boyfriend has been arrested by President Poofy Hair. This is the part of “24” if you want to call your mom or flip over to the Olympics and watch curling, no one would blame you.

Jack begins to question the Russian mobster about the Nuclear Rods. He is not talking. Jack then calls President Woman and everybody comes to an agreement that this guy needs to be Mirandized and wait until his lawyer comes along. No, actually, he agrees to a “deal” with President Woman and soon we’re on our way to find the nuclear rods.

This episode ends with Agent Chico finding the truck the nuclear rods were in but the two Russians in the truck were killed by the Not Dead Son who is now taking the material to President Poofyhair's lame brain brother. On a lighter note, the Not That Hot Tech decides that she really needs to kill Cletus and Jethro making her another person I’m glad works for the Federal Government.