Real Time 24 Recap

Hour “10:00AM-11:00AM” started off with some excitement: Jack hijacked (ha, ha) a helicopter and took it for a quick spin over the blue clear skies of Manhattan. He landed on a roof top and kind of skipped along the skyline of New York until he found some handy fire escapes and blended into the New York City post breakfast-pre lunch hour mob.

Meanwhile, President Woman has another long conversation with Ethan, who had a major heart attack and did not use a PTO day. They both talk about Jack and how he has escaped another perimeter. Then Ethan mentions that President Woman will probably be impeached if the world finds out about the Russian involvement in the death of President Poofy Hair. Ethan didn’t mention impeachment when President Woman said we would deal with a dirty bomb exploding over Manhattan. Anyway, they both agreed that the Peace deal was kaput (a word you never hear on TV now days). President Woman gets all teary eyed because her husband divorced her, her daughter is in jail and the only man on earth likely to give her a smooch has to take nitrates for chest pain.

Then she meets former President Logan, who’s really into FOX AND FRIENDS. They go into this long discussion about how tough it is to be President and how you really need a legacy. President Logan mentions how President Woman could declare the Not That Hot Tech an enemy combated and hold her indefinitely and use ‘enhanced interrogation’ ( old Slim Whitman albums played loud) to get her to spill the beans. He knows this company that could help out and hands President Woman a magnet he keeps on this refrigerator.

Jack is just bopping around New York when he buys a bunch of several phones –but not the chargers or the warranty, just like Clark Howard says. He calls Chloe and she tells him that the President has hired at a firm to torture the Not That Hot Tech and that they are taking her to a ‘safe house’ (with Jack Bauer around-ha!). Jack throws away that phone and calls this new character, a work at home arms dealer.

Chloe comes up with this hair brained scheme to tell Jack the address of the ‘safe house’ but it is really just a fully functional dry cleaner with no employees. She sends Agent Chico which is like sending my cat to the job.

Of course, Jack has already figured this out and manages to out wit everybody and have Agent Chico tie up his ‘unit’ (three stupid guys and one that Jack put into a coma). He urges Agent Chico to come with him. Agent Chico: “But what if you are wrong?” Jack: (yells) “I’m Not!” I don’t think Jack ever studied debate in college.

Of course, after all of this excitement, we have go back to President Woman and her meely-mouth ways. She informs Ethan that she has hired a firm to beat the living fecal matter out of the Not That Hot Tech. Ethan decides to do the honorable thing and resign unlike a certain other Secretary of State whom I’ll call Roland Rowell who when he disagreed with a Presidential decision just picked up the phone and called Bob Woodward.

President Woman and New President Mrs. Poofy Hair hold a joint new conference announcing the Peace Treaty is still on. At the same time, The Not That Tech is carried, with a bag over her head, to a super secret location that happens to be 10 minutes from where Jack is, to be “questioned” by Torture R Us. They begin by water boarding her, which looks more like ‘dropping water on your face with a ladle', but what do I know?