Real Time '24' Recap

Last week, for whom the clock went silent for was Agent Freckles. Despite being a sociopath, she had wicked awesome body, which of course, is all that men really care about. This week’s episode opened with Jack using his mighty Jack staring powers to bring her back to life, but it didn’t work. He cried again, making me think he’s getting all Alan Alda on us.

Then Chloe called. It would have been funny if she asked him, “Are you still crying?”, but no, she tries to offer some sympathy, but since it does not concern computers, she didn’t do a very good job of it. Jack wants to get the guy who did this because, after all, it was the first time he’s had the Honolula Hula since Bush (George Herbert Walker) was President. Chloe tells him it was somebody with the Russian Mob. It an amazing coincidence, the head of the Russian mob is being arraigned downtown in just a few minutes. Lucky for us, the courthouse is just down the street.

Ethan comes in to meet with President Woman. For man that had a heart attack and heart surgery just a few hours ago, he looks remarkable well, although I doubt President Woman will remember that during his annual performance review. (This is in contrast to Major Frank Burns of “M*A*S*H” who told Margaret that he “had a low tolerance for pain, a hemorrhoid puts me in a coma”.)

Ethan asks if President Woman she has spoken with President Milhous Logan yet. She had and sent him on his merry little way to Russian Ambassador who is eating breakfast. President Logan slimes his way into telling the Russian Ambassador that he knows everything and he’s going to tell President Woman. This puts big time fear into the Russian Ambassador and Russia comes back to the table for the “peace treaty”.

Jack arrives at the courthouse and proceeds to scare the head of the Russian mob half to death. The mobster spills the beans that the Not That Hot Tech was a mole for the Russians. Jack leaves the court house to go the ten minutes to CTU so he can beat up the Not That Hot Tech.

President Logan is doing the happy dance that the Russians are coming back to the table for the “peace treaty”. He’s back in the game. Then he hears the two words he hates to hear: Jack Bauer. Several years ago, President Logan was doing the bidding of a group of industrialists that wore Blue Tooths (one was Jack’s brother, who Jack killed). One thing led to another and President Logan somehow killed Former President Allstate. Jack brought this to the public’s attention and President Logan had to resign for office. On top that, his wife, Jean Smart (the cutest of “The Designing Women”) ran off with his Secret Service agent. Oh yeah, she stabbed President Logan. For some reason, President Logan is still bitter about it.

Jack returns to CTU to beat the living fecal matter out of the Not That Hot Tech. Chloe tries to dissuade him, but she as effective as the forty other CTU directors who tried to get Jack not to kill somebody.

The Not That Hot Tech does not know Agent Freckles is dead. Just to be fair, Jack tells her that Agent Freckles is “dead, dead” before his slams her face into the table and getting all over her like a cheap suit. I’ll give one thing for the Not That Hot Tech: she can take a punch.

After this beating, we are treated to President Woman, Ethan, and President Logan debating if they should tell New President Miss Poofy-Hair about the Russian involvement in the death of her husband. Ethan’s all moral about it but President Logan hits President Woman in her soft underbelly: it would wreck “the Peace Treaty”. President Woman was willing to sacrifice Manhattan and its residents so it was no surprise when she took the President Logan’s side of this argument. With that, she decided to go to see Jack at CTU.

If I was the head of The Secret Service, CTU would be the last place I would want the President to be. She arrives at the same entrance that was bombed a few hours before. The property management team at CTU rocks, because it was in great condition.

President Woman met with the CTU team and Chloe. She then met with Jack to explain how at one time she was a person with high morals but now she is just another slimy politician. She orders Jack to stand down.

In the real world, when the President of the United States tells you to stand down, you either stand down or you resign. Jack misunderstood. He thought she said, “Steal a helicopter”. Chloe has to contact the Air Force to bring Jack down. Of course, she has to wait on hold. Hears message that says, “The United States Air Force is committed in bringing you the best in Air Force service”. When she gets somebody, it sounds like some in India, but his name is “Travis”. Then she has to explain that Hastings was let go and now she is in charge now.