Kennesaw, Dear Kennesaw

 
Kennesaw, dear Kennesaw,
Nestled in the Georgia pines,
What a special place you hold,
Treasured in this heart of mine.
For the candles you set burning,
Lighting paths of love and learning,
For the gifts you have given me,
Kennesaw, I will cherish thee.

Kennesaw, dear Kennesaw,
Fairest of the Southland’s fame,
Sons and daughters gathered here,
Stand to praise thy lovely name.
For the friendships that were made here,
For the dreams we dared to dream here,
Kennesaw, we will cherish thee,
Kennesaw, we will cherish thee. - The Kennesaw State Alma Mater

In case you didn't know it, poor little dinky Kennesaw Junior College has grown up to be big old Kennesaw State University.

Actually, it hasn't been Kennesaw Junior College since the late seventies. It became Kennesaw College and awarded its first Bachelor's degrees in 1979. Your humble correspondent was a graduated of the class of 1983 with a BA in History. Which was about as dumb to graduate with back then as it is now. But, hey, it is a degree and I can call myself a college graduate with all the rights and privileges that come with it. Those are: I can call myself a college graduate.

Kennesaw State is different from Kennesaw College. For one thing, there were no dorms anywhere close to the campus. There were no sports teams. I take that back. There was a dorm. It was called: your parent's house.

I can't describe what it was like going to Kennesaw College except to say that it was a place where everybody seemed to hate you and hate the idea that college could possibly be fun and interesting.

If they had FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) back then, it would have looked like this.

How Come Kennesaw Does Not Have Any Sports Teams?

Shut up, you are here to learn.

Why Aren't There Any Dorms?

It is cheaper to live with your parents.

Why Do The Professors Seem To Hate Me?

Have you looked in a mirror lately?


Before I hear the screeching of my fellow Owls, I am just joking and it wasn't that bad. Kennesaw was trying to make a name for itself back then. One of the ways that it made its name was being tough.

Kennesaw had "open" enrollment back then. This means that if you showed up, you were a student. However, they made up for the "open" enrollment by the classes you had to take.

Freshman English was usually where Kennesaw tried to kick out their students. I remember one paper I wrote in Freshman English.  I thought it was pretty good. After all, I made a B in Roger Hines' class in high school and I spoke English.

I got the paper back. It looked like the professor slit her wrists while grading it.

As part of my degree, I had to take a math. I had a big math phobia back then mainly because it required you to work at it. I decided to take College Algebra because I sort of passed High School Algebra. First day of class, Dr. Kahn comes in the room, a middle aged Asian man. He is screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I want you to know, to understand, that I DON'T CARE!  I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE FLUNKING OUT AND YOU COME TO ME AT THE END OF THE SEMESTER AND SAY 'DR. KAHN, DON'T FLUNK ME, I'LL FLUNK OUT OF SCHOOL.' BIG DEAL! WHAT'S THAT TO ME? I GOT MY DEGREE. I GOT MY JOB. I DON'T CARE IF YOU GOT A BIG 4.0. AND YOU SAY 'DR.KAHN, DON'T FLUNK ME, I GOT 4.0'. SO?! YOU DON'T ANYMORE!"

I am not exaggerating when I say this went on for an hour. I looked at this challenge and decided to do the most obvious thing: drop the class.


It wasn't a simple process to drop a class in those days. I had to go to a line to get a card. Then you filled out the name/number of the class you wanted to drop. Then you got into another line to hand the card to someone at a table, which meant you officially dropped the course. The someone behind the table that I had to hand the card to was: Dr. Kahn.  "WHY ARE YOU DROPPING MY CLASS?"

Dr Kahn got his revenge. I ended up taking some courses during the summer and I took this course called "Decision Math". It was "Math" for Business Majors. I thought, how hard can this be?  I saw a high school buddy of mine, told him I was taking "Decision Math". He said, "Bad decision".  It was twice as hard as College Algebra.  I don't know how I (barely) passed. Divine intervention is my only conclusion.


I could go on and on with my Kennesaw horror stories. Like the time in "History of The New South", I took a test that had four questions. I spent an entire weekend studying for this test. First question: "Describe Tobacco Production In The New South".  After the test, I checked my notes. I had only a half page of notes on Tobacco Production. I made a 30 on the test. It was in my major. The professor graciously curved the score to be a D-. Somehow, I passed the course with a C. Again, it was all Jesus.

I drove by Kennesaw the other day. I know a lot of kids from the various area high schools that are now  going to Kennesaw. I saw kids wearing Kennesaw State t-shirts. I don't think they sold t-shirts at the bookstore when I was there.

Kennesaw, I will cherish thee.