The Second Chance

I'm turning 55 years old this weekend. The BIG DOUBLE NICKEL. I think I start getting discounts at fast food restaurants now. Personally, I'd settle for getting my order right the first time

One of the ironic things about me: I majored in History in college, but I'm not really into telling people about MY history that much. I figure most people aren't that interested that I was the Social Studies Student of The Year at Wheeler High School in 1977.  What is interesting is that I had a teacher tell me specifically that if he was at the department meeting that day I wouldn't have gotten it. Yep, that's the type of life I've had  ("Where's your Cornflakes? I need to go to the bathroom.")

However, I've been thinking a lot lately about my marriage. I've been married for 28 years. There were times in my late teens and early twenties when I thought I wouldn't be married 28 minutes much less 28 years.

I do need to set the record straight. Although we have known each other since we were 7 and 5 years old respectively, Lori and I were not "high school sweethearts". As hard as it may seem, I was not nearly as sexy then as I am now. In fact, if there was an antithesis of sexy, it was me. For some reason, short skinny guys with zits, Coke bottle glasses, and b.o. were not popular with the girls no matter how many booger jokes you made.

My big sex moments in high school  (get ready because this is steamy) was "Couple's Skate" at the skating rink. It should be obvious that I wasn't one of those guys that was a great roller skater. I couldn't roller skate backwards and I don't remember ever stopping without using the wall. However, there were times when I would get to HOLD THE HAND OF A GIRL while skating during a "Couple's Skate". One girl told me I had sweaty hands.

I  managed to have a date in high school and I even went to the prom. I still have the prom picture although it is well hidden in my house. I showed it several years ago to a MetLife colleague. She said I looked like the President of The Accounting Club.

Needless to say, that relationship didn't work out mainly because I had no idea how to make it work. Plus, and this is pretty big, the girl really liked someone else.

Through out my college career I would zero-in on a girl, spend most of the semester working up the courage to ask her out and then she would turn me down for some odd reason like she was a nun, engaged, married or a lesbian.

Another problem was my friends liked the same girls I did. There was one girl in college I liked but I had a friend that liked her too. It was really no contest. He would have been a better catch than me: He was from a well to do family, very gregarious, and lived down the street from a future President of the United States. However, for some reason he was shy with girls. This girl was also shy. So I watched this kabuki dance where this couple was kind of, sort of, maybe dating.  By the time I made my big move, she had decided to transfer to another school.

Here's where my wife comes in.

My mother was always a big fan of my wife. She would always take the opportunity to tell me how cute Lori was. The problem is Mom said this about a lot of girls and 99.8%  of the them looked like they fell out of a tree. I was always a compliant child, but when it came to this subject I always bristled and did not want any help.

In fact, a lot of people were urging me to take Lori out. While I thought she was cute, there was that Mom thing.

Then one evening, I was 24 years old and had been on two dates in four years. I was at The Metro Bible Study in Vinings. It was where Evangelical young people would come to study the Bible, sing praises to God, and scope out members of the opposite sex.  Then I saw her with him.

There was this guy that took a fancy to Lori and they went out a few times. I was sitting in a pew, by myself, as usual, and I saw them walk in. They both waved at me. 

I sat there, forgetting whatever the teacher was saying about how to make double-triple sure I knew God's will for my life. I thought: they look good together and I just blew another chance I might have had with a girl. I left that night pretty depressed knowing that whatever it is that causes people to fall in love, I simply didn't have it and I would be alone for the rest of my life. It was God's will for my life to be miserable and unhappy.

Something strange happened. I learned that sometimes God gives second chances and he gave me a second chance. I took full advantage of it. In fact, just a little over two years from that moment, Lori and I were married.

And I've been happy ever since.