The Tech Fan Conundrum

For about ten years, I did something called "This Week's Picks" in which I would pick the winners of college football games using a little more manly and scientific method than Diane Chambers (who in one episode of "Cheers" won the weekly football pool by picking the winners solely on the teams' colors).  I usually picked a team that I liked and/or I picked a team that seemed like it was a better team than the team they were playing.  I should have won several Pulitzer Prizes.

Those days are over. Although I enjoyed writing "This Week's Picks", some days it was a big pain in the butt to write. People, particularly here in The South, take football very seriously, and they don't like you making fun of "their" school even though they may not be a graduate of the school or know where it is located.

Alabama fans, of course, and I say this in the most loving way possible, are the most clinically insane. I've had Alabama fans take up my valuable time giving me detailed blocking schemes even though a) I'm not an offensive lineman for Alabama; b) I'm a middle age man; c) I couldn't care less and d)It was in April when I'm sure the offensive linemen for Alabama didn't care.

There is a set of fans that puzzles me: Georgia Tech fans.

Before I get e-mails saying "I thought you were a total moron and this proves it. LLAP ", let me say that I know a lot of Georgia Tech graduates and fans and I love everyone of them. My wife's uncle, who said he barely graduated from Tech, had a very successful business career and enjoys a comfortable retirement. That's in contrast to me-my retirement plan is now basically buying scratch-offs. My wife's grandfather owned a legendary tavern on Peachtree Street and had many Tech customers including Bobby Dodd.

But, it seems like Tech fans are always just a wee bit defensive.The institution is one of the best in the country. Although, like other schools, it costs an arm and leg to attend, it doesn't cost two arms and two legs like other elite colleges.Tech folks have nothing to be defensive about. I think the problem may stem from their fight song, "Ramblin Wreck".

There was an article in USA Today that listed the top ten "best" fight songs. Number One was, obviously, "Hail To The Victors", which is Michigan's fight song.(By the way, Kennesaw State has a fight song, "We're The Kennesaw Owls---WHO ARE YOU?" I'm not looking for it in the top ten anytime soon.)

"Ramblin Wreck" combines two things Georgia Tech fans are good at: narcissism and cussing. It says, "I'm a ramblin wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer".  It just seems to me that if you are such a great engineer, you wouldn't have a wreck. It is a bit of a mixed message, don't you think?

If there is one subject that drives Tech fans nuts it is the University of Georgia.

My Tech friends basically acknowledge that I have a college degree, although it is not important and if the world was depending on me to make an Iron Man suit, well, the world is out of luck. However, they all acknowledge that I am a human being, endowed by my creator with certain unalienable Rights.

However, you would be hard press to get many Tech fans to acknowledge Georgia fans are carbon based life forms. 

It all has to do with football. Right now, Georgia is doing well, despite having some "student-athletes" that are mainly athletes instead of students. Georgia has a lot of band wagon fans because they win. Georgia's head coach is this handsome matinee idol looking man.

In contrast,  the Tech student-athletes actually have to be students. Most Tech fans are fans because they either go and went to Tech. Tech's head coach looks like an insurance salesmen that just got laid off.

I know I'm weird, but I like both Georgia and Tech. I'm a little more partial to Georgia because my cousin went to Georgia back when I was just a tyke and it was the first college I ever heard of. I also like Vince Dooley, Herschel Walker and all of the rest. But I like Tech too. I want to see Tech beat FSU. It would be great. I want to see Tech beat Miami. That would be awesome. It would tremendous to see Tech beat Clemson. I just want them to lose when they play Georgia and when they play Georgia Southern this year because I've paid that school a boat load of money.

Yes, Tech fans, I will admit some  Georgia fans can be annoying. Seeing a 75 year old man sitting around and barking can be disconcerting.

As the late Rodney King once said, "Can't we all just get along?"

We need to unite because they are a lot of Florida fans around here. They are the worst. (I'm joking.)