The Hot CIA Agents goes Medieval on Benjamin Bratt and breaks his spirit. Jack tells HCA about Agent Freckles. Cheng appears out of nowhere and kills The Head Nerd. The device sends a message to a nuclear submarine to torpedo a Chinese ship, which it does, no questions asked.
President Roseland Capital and his top advisers are reviewing this "Chinese Aircraft Carrier that just happens to be in the Mediterranean and just happens to explode" incident. Audrey is also in this meeting because when you are the daughter of the President you can sit in on any meeting you want.
Jack and HCA are shooting at Russians and run out of bullets just as the back up arrives. To quote The Amazing Steve: " The federal agents announce themselves as "Federal Agents", which is kind of a weird thing to say in a foreign country where they have zero authority. It works though, because the Russians give up."
Cheng has been watching the gun battle and of course, recognizes Jack. Cheng finds the tracking device and makes everyone leave The New Nerd Central. Chloe turns on the recording device of an iPhone before she leaves. By the way, she still has that crap on her face.
Jack misses Cheng and them by a couple of minutes. He finds the iPhone and hears Cheng's voice. He tells HCA that it is Cheng even though Cheng has been dead for three years. (It turns out that Cheng is having problems with his country too.) HCA injects that the voice could be Rich Little's.
Jack calls the President and tells him that he heard Cheng;s voice and he is behind everything. The President tells Jack that Cheng has been dead for three years and the voice could be Rich Little's, maybe even Dana Carvey's. Jack convinces the President that Cheng is alive. The President calls the President of China and tells him that it was a video that caused the American submarine to torpedo the aircarft carrier.. He then tells him that Cheng is behind the attack on the aircraft carrier. The President of China reminds him that CHENG IS DEAD and to tell him more about this video.
So now it becomes very important that Jack finds Cheng to convince the Chinese that Cheng is not dead and that he was behind the attack. It may take Jack 90 minutes to do this.
Audrey, who was also tortured by Cheng, (he called her "Flatsy Patsy") actually said these words, "I think my country needs me". Right. Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, Audrey. She has this Chinese friend that she can talk to and maybe the whole World War III thing will just work its way out.
When Jack gets back to The US Embassy or wherever it is the President is staying, he goes full Bauer on Mr. Audrey because he figured out it was Mr. Audrey working in conjunction with The Russian to get Jack arrested by Mother Russia. It was real technical and Mr. Audrey didn't want to tell The President about it. The President said "Citizen's Arrest! Citizen's Arrest!" Jack has a better idea. Have Mr. Audrey take Jack to the Russian's house and they can trace Cheng from there.
While riding around in a some sort of truck, Chloe grabs a pole and starts beating on some of Cheng's henchmen. She jumps out of the truck into some sort of wooded area that happens to have a hill, which she rolls down and she decides to take a nap. Cheng sort of half way looks for her, but gives up saying, "She wandet that good wookin to begin wif."
Jack, HCA and Mr. Audrey make it to the Russian's house. Long story short: The Russian dies from a piece of glass in his jugular but not before Jack gives him a Jack yell to tell him where Cheng is and "AND DON'T SAY DEAD".
Audrey meets her Chinese friend. Guess what? Cheng is not dead! Really!? No way!? Are you still dating Jack Bauer? No, I'm married to the President's Chief of Staff. But soon Audrey's friend is dead like all of her other friend except this one is not from boredom. That's right, Cheng killed Audrey's friend and several random Secret Service agents who have the terrible job of having to guard Audrey. Audrey's phone rings and it is
Discussion Questions:
1) Did you know Presidents could arrest people? Obama would have arrested John Boehner years ago.
2) Does it make you feel comfortable that the fate of the world is now with Audrey?
3) I made it an entire recap without using one "Moose and Squirrel" joke. Aren't you proud?
4) Name the best impressionist on "Saturday Night Live" beside Darrell Hammond. Give reasons.
5) How come they can contact terrorists and Chinese leaders by Skype, but they can't contact the Vice President?
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