No Offense

On the behalf of myself and the other Boomer parents, I would like to apologize to the world for creating the most spoiled rotten bunch of weenies ever to step forth on earth.


Which is an accomplishment itself considering we the worst until this current crop came along.


Most of our parents were raised during The Depression.  Just in case this isn't discussed anymore in American History (which is a distinct possibility) The Depression was caused by Republicans because they wanted to take the working man's money. That's how my Dad explained it.


The Depression made everyone walk three miles to school, in the snow (even if they lived in Florida) and it was uphill both ways.  Everybody's family had twenty kids and they all slept in the same bed.


For reasons my Dad never explained, The Depression lasted about ten years after a Democrat was elected President. Then, came World War II. After World II ended the soldiers came home and had sex. This sex lasted about 18 years from 1946-1964.


In comparison to the previous generation, we Boomers had it made because our parents didn't want us go through what they went through: poverty and war.


We grew up with television. It wasn't the big screens we have now. The screens were smaller and YOU HAD TO GET OUT OF YOUR CHAIR AND TURN A KNOB TO CHANGE CHANNELS.

Lord, when President Johnson gave a speech, it was an important event and it was on every channel. We only had four or five channel and your evening was shot because after President Johnson spoke, the old men on TV had to explain what he just said. Of course, if you ever heard President Johnson speak, this was a necessity. ("Mah feller 'Mericans. Ah com to ewe wid a heavy heardt")


We had it rough.


So when we had children, we didn't want our children to go through what we went through: self doubt that you are not the most precious thing ever created in the universe. Or missing your favorite show, like "Flipper".  "Flipper" was about a dolphin and his goofy looking human friends who would fight crime by swimming.

Now we have a crop of young adults who become offended at every little thing. Witness Yale University where people have become unhinged over "offensive" Halloween costumes. These are our best and brightest children. I would advise you to sell your bonds.


Witness what happened at The University of Missouri. There may/may not have been a swastika of feces (Swastika of Feces opened for The Cars in 1984). There may/may not have been a mean person driving around using racial slurs. It could have been somebody driving around listening to hip-hop music really loud. Nobody really knows for sure. But several high ranking college officials lost their jobs so it had to be important because it is hard to lose a college job.


Witness Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner. When Jenner decided to become a woman, I thought it was a joke. Honest. Then when he became Caitlyn, we all had to celebrate it, even though me lady still has a wang-dang.  There were some very serious Twitter tweets warning that everyone would have to call Jenner "Caitlyn" even though some of us have been referring to him as Bruce for forty years. It would have been nicer if he she came up with a name like Brucella.

Here's the dirty honest truth about life. People are going to say and do things that you don't like. Some of those people are going to be related to you. Some of them are going to hold political beliefs that are contrary to yours. They may want to express those beliefs. There's not much you can do about it.

I hope you don't take offense to that.