Chubby, Chubby

In case you haven't noticed, everybody is fat now days. Except for those few of you that are not, but don't worry, you'll get there, trust me.

The causes of this epidemic of huskiness are many.  The most common reason is our sedentary life style.

Most of us work in offices that the first thing you do when you get to work besides turn on your computer is eat a couple of donuts (or a box if its from Krispy Kreme). Then you start planning where you are going for lunch. Then you go home and the most exercise you get is going to the mailbox to get your junk mail. Pretty soon, you turn around and you weigh about 400 pounds more than you did in high school.

In the old days, they didn't have offices, they had fields, and you ploughed the fields with a mule that wore at hat. You did this 365 days a year. Your kids walked three miles to school, in the snow, and it was uphill both ways. Your dessert was a jug marked "XXX". You died when you were 35, but hey, you were skinny when you croaked.

Another reason, and if you watched any daytime TV you would know, is our parents.

If you are a Boomer like me, your parents survived The Depression and World War II. They had nothing growing up ("We got a grape for Christmas and it was the best grape ever") and so after World War II ended they did two things: Have sex and ate whatever they wanted. This is in addition to smoking cigarettes everywhere, including operating rooms in hospitals.


I didn't have to walk to school, uphill, in the snow, which in Georgia would have been a stretch anyway. I rode in a nice school bus, with nice school bus monitors, and when I got home, Mom had a bottle of Coke and cookies waiting on me.  My parents made sure I had something they didn't have: ADHD.


Throughout my young life, I was a skinny thin child and I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.


But something happened. I got older and I put on more weight. Now, I am constantly monitoring what I eat and most of the time I fail because food that is good for you doesn't taste as good as the food that is bad for you.

I try to combat this by exercising. My wife and I go to a gym usually 5 to 6 times as week. I have learned a few things.

One, I sweat like a pig. This is good because at least it shows I 'm trying.

Two, there are people that carry gallons of water with them and they have to drink water every 45 seconds or every time they glisten, whichever comes first.

Three, there are people of a particular gender that wear particular outfits that sometimes do not cover certain particulars of their bodies. This has nothing to do with my topic (obesity) but it is health related because my eyes tend to bug out like a Tex Avery cartoon character at these women people and my wife ends up punching me, which isn't good for my health.

Sort of like this except I'm wearing a t-shirt and gym pants.

Obesity leads to many health problems. One problem is diabetes. Diabetes can cause men not to able to perform a man function men like to do. This caused the world's greatest scientists to work with Bob Dole to create a wonder drug to help these poor unfortunate men to function like they did before they got Diabetes. This led to multiple commercials during football games showing men doing manly things (that usually involves getting things up and running, ho-ho) advertising this wonder drug. One caveat: a side effect of this drug is a killer headache. So I'm told. Not that I would ever have need for this wonder drug. But I wouldn't hesitate to take this wonder drug, if I needed it, which I don't.

Obesity is also the "emphasis" of First Lady Michelle Obama. She is always telling us to eat a carrot and shaming schools into serving Brussels sprouts for lunch instead of  hot dogs. SAY NO TO FOOD THAT TASTES GOOD would be a good slogan for her.

Now the government that beat The Nazis is trying to beat Obesity.  Bet on Obesity.