I've missed hearing Jack Bauer bark out that a "perimeter" needs to be set. I've missed seeing Jack Bauer shooting people in the thigh.
The closet thing to Jack Bauer is Ryan Hardy on The Following.
If you haven't seen The Following, here is a brief plot synopsis. There is a charismatic English professor, an expert on Edgar Allen Poe, who is also a mass murderer and enjoys cutting the eyes out of his victims before they die. I know what you are thinking: there is no such thing as a charismatic college English professor.
This English professor (Joe Carroll) is so charismatic, he has his own "following" of young people that he has trained to mass murder. Somehow, you never hear this phrase on the show: "Is this going to be on the test?"
Ryan Hardy (played by Kevin Bacon , who is the punchline of the great joke: "15 years ago we had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash; now we have No Hope and No Cash. Lord, protect Kevin Bacon") is the FBI agent that put Joe Carroll behind bars. Hardy wrote a book about Joe Carroll. He also has a pace maker.
Oh yeah, he is the lover of Joe Carroll's ex-wife.
The show is extremely violent for network TV. Someone is always getting stabbed or having their throat sliced. Last year, before the network renewed The Following, Ryan Hardy saw Joe Carroll blow up in a building and we all thought Joe Carroll was dead.
It turns out Joe Carroll somehow survived the explosion and ended up in Arkansas. He was living incognito with the local small town prostitute and her racially mixed daughter who has a comical Southern accent that comes and goes. Carroll was all "The prostitute and me and the daughter with the accent that comes and goes makes three" until a copy-cat multimillionaire art dealer draws him out of hiding by going on a mass murder spree of her own.
This art dealer is clearly Nutsy Fagan and she has twin boys that are the creepiest things on television besides Bill Maher.
Ryan Hardy knows that Carroll is still alive but he is missing things like, er, facts. Everybody in the FBI, NYPD, Buzzfeed, etc is telling him to let it go-live in the now. This is a new mass murderer that has nothing to do with Joe Carroll, so back off Hardy. Meanwhile more people are getting sliced and diced.
Carroll kills his prostitute friend and takes the daughter and goes to meet up with one of his "favorite" followers, if you catch my drift. She was a co-ed that liked stabbing people too and would always ask Carroll for "extra credit". Together, they all end up at a "real" cult headquarters, which is deep in the countryside somewhere about 10 minutes outside of Manhattan, which I think is Queens if I know any New York geography
Carroll tries to conform to the ways of this cult, but they are too crazy even for him. So instead of leaving the cult, he kills the leader and takes over. He begins to train to the cult to kill, too, just like he did his college class. Soon more people are dying and the world finds out that Joe Carroll is indeed alive.
Add to all of this, Ryan Hardy has fallen in love with a reporter who is reporting on the mass murders and Joe Carroll. You can't say they don't have anything in common. Plus, Joe Carroll's ex-wife, who Hardy thought was dead when they both were stabbed before they knew the show was going to be renewed, has returned after being in protective custody. (She complains about the time she ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce and got egg noodles and ketchup instead.)
If you find this confusing, you have to remember that this is nowhere near as confusing as 24. Be prepared for more confusion from 24 this year. So far, it has been leaked that Chole has dyed her hair black, because, well, you know, that's what rebels do. Jack is in London, setting up perimeters in the the Underground. Jack's old girlfriend, Audrey has returned and her daddy has taken time off from selling gold on Fox News to become President of The United States.
Welcome back, Jack.
**Humor Me will be doing a weekly recap of the 24 episodes. However, and this is important, I may not be able to do the recap until a couple of days after the episode airs. I have this thing, called a JOB, and it takes time away from my recaps.
No comments:
Post a Comment