Rebranded

This is what the Republican Party says about itself. Minorities think that “Republicans do not like them or want them in the country unless it is to mow their yard”. Young people are “rolling their eyes at what the party represents, which is old people that never even heard of the Lumineers”.  Former Republicans report that they would not support the GOP Presidential candidate in 2016 “even if it was Jennifer Love Hewitt and she did the Harlem Shake buck naked at every campaign event”.

These quotes, more or less, came from the Republican National Committee’s report titled: It Can’t Get Any Worse (or was it Growth and Opportunity Project?) and basically it came to the conclusion that the problem with Republicans is that they are Republicans. It seemed to say:  If somehow, we could be as cool as the Democrats and that hip Harry Reid, we might-could-probably win an election one of these years-maybe.

Like all introspection, some of it was needed and some of it is just unnecessary self flagellation. True, Republicans have lost the popular vote in 5 of the last 6 elections. In ‘92  there were basically two Republicans on the ballot because Ross Perot decided he wanted to be on TV. Then in ’96, Republican candidate Bob Dole (Campaign slogan: “Vote For Bob Dole. He’s Tried Out The Blue Pill For You”) had to run against Bill Clinton (Campaign Slogan: “I. Have. Not. Had. Sex. With. Your. Wife. Yet.) and Ross Perot (again). In 2000, there was a rip-roaring economy that helped that sexy Al Gore. In 2008 you had an economic meltdown in the last quarter of the campaign that helped the already historic ticket of Barack Obama (first African-American) and Joe Biden (first Irish Tard). In 2012, Republicans thought that an “It’s The Economy, Stupid” theme would lead them to victory. Turns out single women were more worried about getting a frowny face from a Mormon than getting a job.

Even if it was not as bad as they think, some Republicans are convinced that they can win people over by changing their positions on things like Two Man Marriage and Hey People From Other Countries, Just Come On Over  Marriage Equality and Immigration Reform. It strikes me a little odd to have a ‘national conversation’ on emotional subjects and allow only one side to express their opinion and to deride the other opinion as “bigoted”.  But I fully expect Republicans to (generally) mimic the Democrats on these issues and they will look like your Dad when he wore a leisure suit with a tie in 1978.

I just do not believe the problems of the Republican Party are systemic. They got blown out in 1964 when Barry Goldwater ran on the slogan, “I Hate Everyone of You” and then won in 1968 after Lyndon Johnson mistook a landslide win as authorization to launch an unwinnable ground war  in Southeast Asia. They lost in ’76 (barely) to someone who had only two more years of experience as a governor than Sarah Palin but came back to win in ’80. 

Republicans need to remember that most Americans are not political junkies and what happens in 2016 may not resemble what happened in 2012. After 2004, a lot of people that John Edwards would be a serious candidate in 2008, but it turned out he was just a serious perv. Hilliary Clinton was supposed to win that year because it was “her turn” and she made news because she showed another human emotion besides psychotic laughter when she cried in public.

Americans will have two years of Obamacare under their belts by then and maybe they will want to throw it out. Maybe the economy will still be stagnant  and people will focus on economic issues instead of social issues.

My point is that you can’t out-Democrat a Democrat unless you to write another report four years from now.