This Week's Picks

This is the game we have been waiting for. The most talked about game of the season. A game that should live forever in annals of college football history.

I’m referring to Ursinus vs. Muhlenberg College.

When these two teams get together, it is the talk of every Perkins in Eastern Pennsylvania. The Ursinus Cavities bring a 5-3 record into Scotty Wood Stadium, named after the famous Muhlenberg alumnus, Scotty Wood Stadium, to face “The Mules” ( I am not making this up). The Mules also have a 5-3 record.

I’m going out on a limb here and picking The Mules in this game. They have a stubborn defensive.

This week’s picks!

Dawgs vs. Other Aggies: I guess it is too much to wish that UGA could make it through a year without having a scholar-athlete suspended for various crimes and misdemeanors. Isaiah Crowell, the latest in a long line of New Herschel Walkers, has been suspended from this one game by Coach Hardnose, Mark Richt, for testing positive for Wacky Tobacky. New Mexico State is 3-5, so this should be an easy win for Georgia even without Crowell. Georgia wins.

Pigs vs. Chickens: Steve Spurrier and Bobby Paterino are two the most reviled coaches in the SEC, mainly because they are amoral egotistical jerks (and those are their good qualities). It is hard to imagine how South Carolina can win without Marcus Lattimore. Therefore I'm going to do write something I promised myself I would never write: Arkansas wins.

Georgia Southern vs. The Citadel: Last week, Georgia Southern (whose slogan is “There are bars everywhere down here!”) flew into Boone, North Carolina and proceeded to lay an egg against Ap State. Although they wear the ring at The Citadel (obscure Pat Conroy reference alert), they should be no match for Georgia Southern. Georgia Southern wins.

Birmingham-Southern vs. Rhodes: The Panthers are in the midst of a two game losing streak. Supposedly, the coaches have told The Panthers this week to "Hit the Rhodes, Jack" (Sorry). Birmingham-Southern wins.

AND NOW…..THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME EVER!

Ellessyew vs. Bama: The supposed best two teams in college football, although there is really no way of knowing this, clash in T-town in what should be a game of epic proportions. LSU is number one and Alabama is number two. They are equal in most aspects. They both have great defenses. They both have rabid mentally insane fans, some of whom ACTUALLY WENT TO THE SCHOOL. Alabama has the superior running game and a coach that is probably a genius. On the other hand, LSU’s coach, Les Miles, is a highly functioning retard. Alabama is a little young at quarterback and hasn’t had the opportunity to commit a felony like the starting LSU quarterback. LSU wins, but it will be close.