This Week's Picks!

Last weekend, Mrs. This Week’s Picks and I traveled down to Statesboro, Georgia, home of the official “Statesboro Blues” for Parent’s Weekend. This is a weekend designed to make sure that your offspring has not become a Goth or Emo, or worse, an English major in college. The festivities included a visit to the holy shrine of Statesboro: Daylight Donuts. If Krispie Kreame donuts took steroids, they would be Daylight Donuts. Every time I’ve been there, I’ve been treated like royalty.

Unlike a certain fast food place there that name rhymes with “Tonic”. I ordered a “Number two” (careful) and did not get fries or a drink with my order. Then I had to engage in a scholarly debate with the worker that I had ordered “the combo” because I said, “number two”. It is like the time, many years ago, I would order a Cheeseburger and never get one. I would say, "CHEESEburger” and I would get a hamburger. I would take the burger back to the counter and say, “I ordered a CHEESEburger”. Normal customer service would be: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, let me get you a cheeseburger”. The customer service I got: “Let me debate with you what you said a minute ago. Then I’ll accuse you of racism/sexism/class-ism”. Soon I just gave up because I didn’t want to debate my participation in 500 years of history just to get a slice of cheese. It was just easier that way.

We went to the Georgia Southern/University of Tennessee Chattanooga game in what was probably the coldest, wettest October night in Statesboro history. During the third quarter, after I bought my beloved a hat and poncho to keep her warm and dry, she whispered in my ear the words that every man needs to hear: “Your nose is running”.

This week’s picks!

Bees vs. The Other Virginia: Ok, ok. I believe, I believe! Georgia Tech is the greatest football team of all time. Paul Johnson should be mayor. This Virginia team has started off slow, but has had a good October. No matter. Tech is just a stronger team this year.

Crocs vs. Other Bulldogs: One ray of warmth last week in Statesboro was the news that Florida was losing. Yay! But to the dreaded Petrino Pigs. Boo! Talk about a dilemma. Anyway, Timmah and the gang eked out a win and are going to Stark-vegas to meet Mississippi State. It would make their year to beat Timmah’s Team. They won’t. Florida wins once more.

Bamy vs. The Young Hot Mrs. Kiffin’s Husband’s Team. Have you ever noticed that when everybody talks about Tennessee it always dissolves into some porn talk? “I hate Lane Kiffin cause he’s such a big jerk but his wife is so hot. One day I was in Knoxville, and I stopped at a BP and there she was. I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, but she….…” I don’t care how hot she is, there is no way they are going to beat Bama. Tide rolls up a win.

Whoo-wee vs. Ya-hoo: Bobby Petrino brings the Pigs to Mississippi and is a five point dog. Ole Mess has been a big disappointment this year. Pigs win, but I’m not happy about it.


The Eagles vs. The Homosexuals: The Mighty Eagles will play Appalachian State and I predict the Eagles will smite the Mountaineers with a smite that will make them stay smitten. Eagles win.

The Cole Rudder Special: Birmingham-Southern is playing The University of The South (Sewanee) or is it Sewanee University of The South? Anyway, it is the alma mater of the editor of Newsweek; therefore, I hope Birmingham-Southern smites them as well.