"The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." James 3:6
When I was in high school, I had one talent: I could make people laugh.
I'm not bragging. I think I have a good sense of humor. I have a pretty good wit.
But man, I had varsity timing.
I could say a line just at the right time and get a laugh out of my peers. I could make an entire class laugh in the right circumstance with a well-timed zinger.
It struck me all these years later, that there was this one classroom that I always killed in. It was like what comedians about a comedy club being their room. This classroom was my room.
Second floor in the Wheeler High School "new building". (We had two buildings back then. The original Wheeler building and an addition Cobb County had to build to house the Yankee children moving in.) It was the first room near the staircase and you could look out the window and see the football field. I remember sitting in that room one time and hearing some upperclassman coeds singing "I'm on the top of the world, looking down creation and the only the explanation I can find is the love that I've found ever since you've been around". Now those coeds are probably grandmothers.
It was in that room when my Latin I teacher gave me detention (for something I wasn't even doing, I swear), I said: "Oh, SNOT". The whole class exploded in laughter. I went in for detention the next morning and the teacher had forgotten she gave me detention. A month later she passed away.
In a Social Studies class, we were doing this hip class projection in which we had to pretend we were on a desert island and we had to nominate two of our classmates as leaders and explain why. I put down the names of two of the tallest boys in the class and my reason: so they can pick the coconuts for us. The teacher read it out loud. Again, big laugh.
My biggest laugh came in 9th grade. Wheeler, due to the influx of newbies into East Cobb, was on split sessions. My school day started at 11:30, I think, It ended at 5:00.
I was in that room for my sixth-period class. It was a social studies class, being taught by a young teacher. I'm sure this teacher could not have been more than twenty-four years old
On the last day of class, she was beaming through the entire lesson. Finally, someone asked her if that was an engagement ring. Yes! If you have never been in the South when a girl shows off her engagement ring, you are missing a treat.
I turned to the guy sitting in the next desk over and said, "I wonder if she's a virgin". I promise I had no nasty thoughts about this teacher, although I probably should have. It just popped in my mind as something funny to say. The guy said, "Why don't you ask her?" So I raised my hand and I did.
Biggest laugh of my life.
Fast forward ten years later. I am a substitute school teacher at a high school in Cherokee County. Since I wasn't that much older than they were, I became sort of popular with the students. Well, as popular as a substitute teacher can be.
While taking roll, I heard a girl say, "Gross, that's gross, gross", I looked up and a kid had his hand raised. He said, "Mr. Manis, do you know what (clinical term for a sex act) means?"
Like a dummy, I said, "Yeah". He said, "What does it mean?"
I literally saw my life flash between my eyes. I could see the headlines, "Cherokee County Substitute Teacher Describes Sex Act To Students". And then I saw another headline "Cherokee County Substitute Gives The Wrong Description Of A Sex Act To Students-What A Dumb-Butt" because while I was 99.9 percent sure what I was thinking was what word meant, I wasn't a 100 percent sure. After all, I never actually heard that word before. We called it something else.
Thankfully, the Lord provided a way out. I said, "That's something you need to talk to your parents about."
The incident taught me some lessons. One is "what goes around comes around". That kid was just trying to be funny. So was I when I was in 9th grade. Even though I got a huge laugh and believe it or not, I didn't get into trouble, I regret saying it. It was cheap and while I didn't intend it to be mean, it was.
Another lesson is sometimes you just have to say as little as possible. I've found most of the time, I never got into trouble for things I didn't say.
You might have heard about this Covid-19 crisis. It has been in all of the papers.
There's a new show out called "Task Force News Conference" and it stars President Trump. You know what happens when President Trump gets together with the press. They call him out and he calls them back out and then they call him out again and then he calls them out again. Afterward, he goes on Twitter and calls them out and they Tweet back at him.
You just want to tell both sides to shut up. Why waste valuable time during a crisis to ask about "Kung Flu"? Why spend time on a snide remark about Mitt Romney? Why ask the President how many deaths are acceptable? Why spend time chewing out a reporter? It seems both sides are tearing themselves down, making themselves look bad. It is damaging the Presidency and it is damaging the Press.
Before I forget, I'm sorry (name redacted). I was fourteen years old and the prefrontal cortex of my brain was not developed. I'll do better next time.
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