The Epizootic Apocalypse

Wow, what a wild week.

But, first a quick contemporary history lesson.

I first learned of the Covid-19 virus ("Coronavirus") the day before we went to New York in January. I heard about it on "The Hugh Hewitt" radio show.  Hugh is a real smart guy and is from Northeast Ohio where the General Motors plants were that my office serviced back in my insurance days. That's not really relevant, but at least when he says "The "Mahoning Valley", I have some idea what he is talking about.

Hewitt and a guest were talking about a new virus that was tearing up China. Yes, I've gone from listening to Gary McKee's Birthday Monster to listening to China virus talk.

A couple of days later, my wife and I were walking through New York's Laguardia airport. I noticed a lot of people wearing surgical masks.

Fast forward to the past couple of weeks.  Covid-19 has practically shut down the United States.  It was like the United States was Georgia and someone on Channel 2 said there was snow in Carrollton.

Things got so bad President Trump had to give an Oval Office address to reassure the country that this wasn't going to be The Epizootic Apocalypse.

President Trump basically gives two different types of speeches.  One, it is like it is New Year's Eve at the Copacabana.  He's cracking jokes, riffing, and saying everything he does is "beautiful".  The second type is like he drank a bottle of Nyquil and he is about ready to slip into a coma.  The speech, because of the serious nature, had to be the second one. I don't think it could have been described as successful.

The next morning the NBA suspended the rest of its season. Soon the NCAA canceled their basketball tournament and all spring sports.  Major League Baseball then canceled spring training and postponed their opening day.

Tom Hanks announced that he has tested positive for the Coronavirus.

Wall Street was in a panic.

Here in Cobb County, the Cobb County School System (which taught me, so blame them) announced all of the kids will take online classes, which I'm sure will work out great for second graders.

Churches announced the services will be held "online", so we can watch it at home like the pagans do. 

As a student of history, I can tell you that America will always rise up and meet a crisis. We did it this time by buying toilet paper in bulk.

I'm not sure who sent the e-mail telling everybody to go and buy toilet paper.  I didn't get it.

We went to Publix, where shopping is a pleasure, this past Friday night.   No meat.  None. Bupkis.

Also, no bread, soup, anti-septic wipes, and of course, toilet paper. On the bright side, they had plenty of fiber cereals on sale.

Saturday morning, we went to The Geriatric Kroger. I call this Kroger that because it seems a lot of older people go there and I always seem to get stuck behind them.

No meat, fruit, or toilet paper, like Publix, but they had plenty of Little Debbies treats, so it wasn't that bad. If you are going to be self-quarantined, Little Debbie is a perfect companion.

I understand the seriousness of the virus. I'm just saying I lived through the Hong Kong Flu, I don't remember this type of response. In fact, I don't remember any event in my youth where we responded to any National Crisis by buying toilet paper.  (Walter Cronkite:  "Today, Americans responded to the death of President Kennedy by flocking in mass to the grocery store and buying all of the toilet paper in stock.  In related news, Sears says it will be mailing out its new catalog next week")

If I can quote something from the early 90s, everybody needs to take a chill pill.  In World War II, you know, "The Big One",  the British went to work and school when they were being bombed by Germany on a daily basis. They came up with signs that said: "Keep Calm And Carry On".

We should do the same thing. Eventually, things will get better. 

They always do.