The History of An Entitlement (Updated)

This is the history of  how we got The Affordable Pizza Act.

Woodrow Wilson writes in an 1898 letter to a colleague that “I took the family out for a Pizza Pie as all good red-blooded American families should”.

This colleague wrote President McKinley urging mandatory Pizza Fridays.

In 1903, President Theodore Roosevelt said, “A man who doesn’t like pizza is a rapscallion and should be punched in the snoot, tarred, feathered and run out on the rails”.

In 1911, President William Howard Taft ate three pizzas at one sitting.

In 1925 a reporter said to President Coolidge: "I bet a fellow ten whole dollars that I could not get you to say two words about pizza!" The President responded: "You lose".

The campaign song for Alfred Smith in 1928 was “A Slice Would Be Nice”

 In 1933 as an effort to help struggling dairy farmers in Wisconsin, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt created the Wednesday Pizza Administration or The WPA. The Federal Government commissioned free pizza to be given out in special government stores called “Huts” every Wednesday.

The radio stations all over America played the songs “Hey You Let’s Chew” and "Tony, You're My Pepperoni".

After Pearl Harbor, the country was urged to cut down on its pizza consumption in order to show Hitler and Tojo we mean business.

In the 1948 Presidential race, President Harry Truman said, “The Republican Party wants to take away your pizza and I won’t let them do it".

 In 1952 Presidential candidate Dwight Eisenhower promises to go to Korea and hold the anchovies.

In the 1960 Presidential debates, John F.Kennedy said that there was pepperoni gap.

 In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson signed an executive order changing The Wednesday Pizza Administration into The Pizza On Friday Program (POFP) since the modern American family was very busy on this day.

In a 1972 interview at a Washington D.C. area Pizza Hut, President Richard Nixon denied ever having pizza.

In 1975, President Gerald R. Ford had the roof of his mouth burned by a New York Style Pizza.

 In 1979, President Carter signed an executive order allowing for federal funding of deep dish pizzas.

 In a 1986 compromise with the Democrats, President Ronald Reagan allowed citizens to substitute spaghetti for pizza if they wanted.

After a rousing convention speech in 1988, President George Herbert Walker Bush caves into Congressional pressure and signs legislation to allow specialty pizzas on the POFP.

 Bill Clinton wins the White House in 1992 promising bread sticks.

 In 2000, George W. Bush promises “buffalo wings with your pizza” while Al Gore promises “buffalo wings and the beverage of your choice”.

In 2008,  Illinois Senator Barack Obama wins The White House promising never to get your order wrong.

In 2010, President Obama signs The Affordable Pizza Act, which includes children being able to use their parents' coupons until the age of 26.

 In 2011, after years of an exploding Federal Budget, Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin proposes deep cuts to The Affordable Pizza Act. The poor and needy would still qualify; however, the middle class will be issued a coupon for use at their local Preferred Pizza Provider (PPP).

 The chairwoman of The Democratic Party, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, called Ryan and the Republican Party: “Pro starvation”. She added "People need food to eat. Pizza is a food. If they don't eat food they will die. Paul Ryan wants people to die."

In 2012, it is revealed that Republican nominee for President Mitt Romney has never seen a pizza.

While campaigning for re-election, President Obama says, "Whatever pizza you like, you can have that pizza.

In 2013, New York businessman Donald Trump tweets: "HEY DOMINO'S! MY ODER IS 45 MINS LATE! SAD!!

When The Affordable Pizza Act goes into effect in the fall of 2013, it turns out the only type of pizza available is cheese pizza, thin crust.

In a speech in 2016, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton claims to both love and hate pizza.

In 2016, New York businessman Donald Trump wins The White House, in part, by saying "Look, I know Papa John. Good friend. Great guy. Makes great pizza. I would probably make better pizza if I was in the pizza business, but I'm not. So, I ask Papa John, who is a great guy and big, big supporter, what can we do about the sorry, terrible, atrocious, Affordable Pizza Act? He said, now get this, that he didn't know. Now if PAPA JOHN doesn't know what to do about Pizza, we're in big trouble, believe me." 

In 2017, in an effect to repeal and replace The Affordable Pizza Act (aka "Obama-pizza"), Congressional Republicans somehow manage to set themselves on fire.