Next Question

Here it is again, time for another debate. Here's what I would ask the candidates.


Donald Trump: Mr. Trump, you described Dr. Ben Carson as an "O.K. doctor". Did you know that he was a neurosurgeon? Do you know what a neurosurgeon is?  Did you know that he was the head of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins University? Did you know he has hired more than one nurse? In what way does using Kelo v. City of New London to obtain real estate better qualify someone for the Presidency than neurosurgery?


Ben Carson:  Dr. Carson, you seem like such a low key, laid back guy. Would you ever consider drinking a Monster energy drink?


Jeb Bush:  Governor Bush, shouldn't your campaign posters read "JEB?" instead of "JEB!"?  Have you ever thought about changing your last name?


Mike Huckabee: On a personal note, Governor, thank you for the Cracker Barrel gift cards you gave us in 2012.  Can God create a rock so heavy he can't pick up?


Scott Walker: Governor,  I mean, really, you have one year left remaining in school. Haven't you heard of The University of Phoenix?


Carly Fiorina: Ms. Fiorina, er, I missed a punch clocking in last week so my time card is missing four hours, so can you fix that? Also, I'm putting in a PTO request for next week, would that be okay? There's donuts in the break room--you want one?


Rand Paul:  Senator Paul, did you know you look like one of my brother in laws? How come I've never seen you and my brother in law in the same room together?  Are you sure you're not Bill?


Ted Cruz:  Senator, is there any problem facing the United States that shutting down the government won't solve?

John Kasich:  Governor, do you think The Browns made a TERRIBLE mistake in drafting Johnny Manziel?

Marco Rubio:   Senator, you recently made fun of Florida State University. Seeing that you are a graduate of The University of Florida, how many pairs of jean shorts do you own? Would you appoint Steve Spurrier to a high level cabinet post? Growing up, did you your friends ever play "Marco Polo" at the pool but substituted "Rubio" for "Polo"?

Bobby Jindal, Rick Santorum, Lindsey Graham, and George Pataki:  Why even bother to show up?

Chris Christie: Do you want fries with that?