Solutions From A Survivor

Let's be clear: if al-Qaeda ever learns how to make ice, the Metropolitan Atlanta area is totally screwed.

We used to worry what would happen if Iran develops nuclear weapons. Now we have to worry what would happen if Iran develops a Sno-Cone Machine.

As a person who somehow survived the Tuesday Ice/Snow Storm, with a full bladder no less, I agree that every response from everyone (Government and Media) was one big phrase that rhymes with "Buster Cluck".

But, I'm not a person interested in the blame game, although it is fun. I know it is great to roast  politicians. It is funny that 32 years ago, nobody was holding George Busbee or Andrew Young responsible for Snow Jam '82 and it was worse, believe or not, than Tuesday. Kasim Reed and Nathan Deal did not invent ice.

There needs to be solutions. Yet, we need to understand the unique situation Metro Atlanta is in . There are 5.5 million people in the Atlanta area. 5.4 million of them are from the North and 5.3 million of them are from the part of the North that brags about their ability to hail a taxi and get a pizza at 3:00 in the morning. It is going to be difficult to scare these people about a "Winter Storm Warning" that might dump two whole inches of snow on the ground. It is not like a Category 5 Hurricane is barreling towards you.

The only fault I have with the Meteorologists is that I don't remember anyone saying that it was going to turn the roads into a sheet of ice. You have all of these officials looking at the News thinking "The Yankees are going to make fun of us. Again."  So instead of being proactive, Government officials just kind of let things happen and it was a mess.

Solution One: Forget what The Transplants will say. If the National Weather Service issues a "Winter Storm Warning" at 3:00 in the morning, cancel school for that day. It's not that hard. Then if nothing happens just remind them of the time children had to spend the night at school.

Solution Two: The media needs to remind people that we do not get snow. We get ice. The TV meteorologists have to say: "We are going to get ice and you cannot drive on it even if you were raised on the North Pole". 

Solution Three: At the first mention of a Winter Storm Warning, everyone needs to put an emergency kit in their cars that includes an auto cell phone charger and a catheter. If not a catheter, a diaper. At the very least, a bucket.

Solution Four: There needs to be a task force. Ha, Ha. Just a joke. Appointing a task force is like proposing we do something about all of these hills around here. DO NOT APPOINT A TASK FORCE.

Solution Five:  The reason so many people "got stuck" is there were many people not wanting to "get stuck". Gov Deal and Mayor Reed should have  had the roads pre-treated instead of having the DOT  official appear on radio and TV blabbing about DOT's "protocol". Pick up the phone and call somebody in a Northern state. Ask what they use to pre-treat  the roads and if they sell it at Sam's Club. Maybe they'll let us borrow some. It would not hurt to ask.

Solution Six: In the immortal words of my Dad, Old Man Manis, our government officials need to act like they have some sense. That means, Mayor Reed, that you don't appear on TV with an Izod jacket on. That means, Gov. Deal, you immediately fire the head of GEMA (Georgia Emergency Management Agency) for not being at work during an emergency with no real explanation except, "Welp, Ah's jus wuntit thar".

Solution Seven: This is for "the media". Atlanta was not lost. It was not like New Orleans. In a true emergency, hopefully there will not be ice on the roads and things will go much smoother. It would also be a big help to not to tell people to stop and "wait it out". That was a prescription for a sleep over at Home Depot.

With these seven solutions, maybe it will be better the next time a snow-ice event hits Atlanta.

Nah. It is a part of our DNA like the pine trees.