Facebook Blues

Are you feeling depressed? You don’t have that drive-that zest for life?  Has your get up and go got up and went? I think I know why: it is because you are on Facebook too much.

Recently, the University of Michigan released a study based on the responses of 82 people, all of whom were college aged. The findings: the more time a person spends on Facebook, the more likely their “life satisfaction” levels drop, whatever that means.  

Pardon me, but are we going to make a determination of a social media outlet that has over 1 billion users worldwide based on the feelings of 82 college students? These are the same people that elected Barack Obama. Twice. The same people that think pictures of girls making ‘duck lips’ are sexy? The same people that get nostalgic over Pikachu?

I know this sounds a little defensive, but one thing I hear over and over again is that “old people” (me) have ruined Facebook.

I would be the first to admit that there are some things about Facebook that get on my nerves. I’m not a big fan of those memes that say JESUS IS NUMBER ONE. ‘LIKE’ THIS PICTURE AND GO TO HEAVEN. IGNORE THIS PICTURE AND SPEND ETERNITY IN THE DEEP FIREY DARKNESS OF HELL. I would hate to wake up in Hell one day because I forgot to like a picture on Facebook. It just doesn’t sound very theological to me.

There’s also a problem with those funny pictures that are posted by groups that have the really, really bad cuss word in their names. For example, you’re looking at a picture of a cat with glasses on. You think it is funny and you share it with your Facebook friends, a vast majority of whom go to church with you. After you share it, you notice it is from “Now That is Some Funny BLEEPETY-BLEEP-BLEEP”.

One of the things we old folks brought to Facebook is pictures of food. There must be a certain chemical in the brain that trips a circuit that causes people to post pictures of food on Facebook. I know I’ve done it. I had a steak that was served with a fried egg on top. The world needed to know that there is a great and gracious God that blesses me with this steak. In fact, the study of the moody Michigan students shows that what causes the dip in the “life satisfaction’ is the “fear of missing out”. That is, when people see my post of the steak with the fried egg on top they begin to feel sad because they are missing out on this meal. And they should because it was awesome.

I love Facebook. I have reconnected with people I haven’t seen in over three decades.

Once I posted a picture and one of my female Facebook friends liked it. Then another female Facebook friend liked it. These two ladies live in the same town but didn’t know each other. I went ahead and introduced them to each other, Facebook style. One said to the other: “How do you know Alan?” The response was that we knew each other in 1979. I haven’t seen this person since Jimmy Carter was President. She’s been my Facebook friend longer than when I knew her in real time.

I have another Facebook friend who almost weekly encourages me regarding this blog. He was one the first people to ever come up to me and quote me.

The other day, one Facebook friend was in Jolly Old England. She posted something on Facebook and if you can believe it, I made a smart aleck comment. Almost immediately, she posted a rebuttal. These are the days of miracle and wonder.

When my wife had cancer, I would get inbox messages and posts on my wall from people saying that they were praying for her. One Facebook friend was a Stage IV cancer victim who was there to encourage us. We had two other Facebook friends going through their own Cancer issues at the same time and we were all able to be there for each other.

I see pictures of my friends' children and their children. It makes me happy. Call me an old softy.

I would ask young people not to leave Facebook. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on anything.