Republican Questions

There’s going to be another debate of Republican hopefuls this week. Here are some questions I would ask.

To Mitt Romney: “What kind of name is ‘Mitt’ for a grown man? Is it the short version of a name like ‘Mittford’ or ‘Mittmon’? Through extensive research (Wikipedia), we have learned that ‘Mitt’ is your middle name and your first name is ‘Willard’. Why did your parents not like you? Are you aware that there was a movie that came out in the 70’s called ‘Willard’ and it was about a guy that had a bunch of rats. You don’t have a bunch of rats, do you?”

To Rick Perry: “Honestly, an Aggie President? Really?”

To Michele Bachman: “You recently said that under President Bachman gas will be under $2.00 a gallon yet you ignore the price of a Coke and popcorn at the movies. This correspondent has spent almost ten bucks on a Diet Coke (served in a ten gallon drum) and a bag of popcorn. What will a Bachman administration do about this and will you promise today that there will no longer be anymore ‘X-Men’ movies?”

To Jon Huntsman: “How come you are a Republican?”

To Rick Santorum: “Who are you and why are you here?”

To Sarah Palin (If she happens to drop by): “In your reality show, you are shown beating a Walleye over the head with a club. Have you ever done that to your daughter Bristol? If not, don’t you wish you had?”

To Mitt Romney: “Do you know Dale Murphy and can you get me his autograph?”

To Rick Perry: “What do you think of Texas A & M going to the SEC? Did you see the University of Maryland uniforms the other night? Are you willing to sign an executive order that would place whoever designed that uniform and who approved it to be placed in chains?”

To Michele Bachman: “Has anyone ever told you that your voice sounds like Rocky The Flying Squirrel?”

To Rick Santorum: “Are you sure you are not Tim Pawlenty?”

To Sarah Palin (Again, if she just happens to be there): “Are the reports true that you mistakenly called John McCain ‘Pee-Paw’ on numerous occasion in 2008?”

To Mitt Romney: “In recent years, we in the media have asked candidates uncomfortable questions about youthful indiscretions. Gov. Romney, have you ever drank a Coke or have sipped a Pepsi?”

To Rick Perry: “Is Bob Wills still the King? Have you ever been to Luckenbach, Texas with Waylon, Willie, and the boys? Who are ‘the boys’ anyway? Do you know how to get back to the basics of love?"

To Ron Paul: “Back when you first started practicing medicine, did you take chickens as a form of payment?"