Shucky Ducky

The punditry class is going crazy since no big name Republican (like Eisenhower or Lincoln) has thrown their hat into the ring for the 2012 nomination. When somebody like Tim Pawlenty can make big waves announcing his candidacy (title of speech: “Gee, Gang, Let’s Run for President”), you can sense that there is some discontent with the candidates.

Not meaning to toot my own horn, but I told you that Haley Barbour would never be President. He must have read the January 7, 2011 Humor Me because he has backed out. The same with Donald Trump (Humor Me-April 10,2011), whose stump speech,” What Are You *#$% Looking At?”, blistered the paint off the walls but he dropped out too. Newt Gingrich’s (Humor Me-March 29, 2011) campaign took off like a led balloon when he promised to impeach President Clinton. This means that the three people I told you would not be President, will not be President.

Other big names have dropped out. Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, who looks like the reincarnation of Calvin Coolidge, except without the hair or charisma, took himself out of the race last weekend. Gov Daniels has been married twice to the same woman. In the 90’s, she went bat crazy and ran off with another man. That didn’t last and she came back home and I’m sure nobody wants to relive that nightmare.

My favorite drop out was by former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. It wasn’t a great surprise that he decided not to run. He’s making real good money for the first time in his life and building a big house in Florida. It was the way he announced it.

Huckabee has a show on Fox News that is part political commentary/part interview/part what the heck just happened. I tuned in to see his big announcement. However, before the announcement, Huckabee decided to jam with Ted Nugent.

Nugent played his hit, “Cat Scratch Fever” while Huckabee played along with his bass. Huckabee is a former Baptist pastor and seeing him slapping the bass to this highly sexualized song was surreal to say the least. There was Huckabee minutes away from making history and Nugent is singing the double entendre about a lover’s reproductive organs.

Yet do not despair Republicans, there are some people that want the nomination. For example, Herman Cain, who used to have a radio talk show here in Atlanta. He was once the head of Godfather’s Pizza and is rolling in the dough.

Mr. Cain is already the winner of the best new slogans of the 2012 campaign: “Yes We Cain” and “Rock Me like a Herman Cain”. At his announcement held in Atlanta’s Centennial Olympic Park, Cain proclaimed: “Aw, Shucky Ducky as the man said”.

I have to admit that before last week I had never heard of the phrase “Shucky Ducky”. I have researched this phrase to find the definition. According to The Urban Dictionary, it is a replacement word for “Feces” except insert the word that rhymes with “Mitt”.

The Urban Dictionary also says it is a term of endearment. There are plenty of people who call other people excrement just to say “I love you”.

I think the GOP can use “Shucky Ducky” as a slogan to describe the President’s handling of the economy. “Gas Prices = Shucky Ducky”. “Ten Per Cent Unemployment is Shucky Ducky”.

You have to admit it is catchier than “I’m Mitt Romney and I have My Lucky Mormon Drawers On”.