Real Time 24 Recap: Hour 11

When we last left 24, the Half-American terrorist had bolted himself into a hyperbaric chamber that the hospital left easily accessed and began to reconfigure the suicide bomb so he could blow himself up. CTU estimated it would take 40 minutes to cut into the chamber.

Chole advises everyone that the Half-American terrorist’s mother was in “St. Elmo’s Fire” and is now living in Harlem, which happens to be, like everything else on 24 just a few minutes away. The Half-American terrorist’s father was a “professor” and you know how wacky they get. Dear old Dad was placed in prison for LWA (Living While Arab) for a whole four months and found his career in ruins when he got out. All of this caused Dad to commit suicide and it made the son a terrorist. Mom just looks like she watches a lot of QVC.

The fun couple, The Not That Hot Tech and Agent Chico, made it back to work and got chewed out by Director Bubba. He would really let them have it, but we’re in the middle of this thing, and you two are real talented and don’t make me stop this car, yadda, yadda.

CTU finally establishes contact with The Half-American Terrorist and Jack uses that Jack charm to get this kid into quit trying to blow yourself up and join the great Satan. The kid goes into a rant about America that sounds like he’s ordering dinner at Wendy’s

The two love birds, Tarin and Kayla, are all South Carolina Lovey-Dovey. He mentions that it will take 18 months to be granted asylum and he won’t make that much money. Kayla says she doesn’t care. Right. Mrs. President Poofy Hair is calling and calling during all of this lovin’, but it doesn’t matter cause they got love.

Agent Chico picks up The Half American terrorist’s mother and tells her that her son is a suicide bomber, something most mothers are unprepared to hear. One day, he’s eating paste, the next day he’s trying to blow himself up for radical Islam. Where does the time go?

You knew that in the midst of this taunt action packed drama that something stupid would have to start and of course it would involve The Not That Hot Tech. Just as things are starting to go smoothly at CTU headquarters, she gets a call from Bill Dauterive, Jethro’s probation officer. Of course, this is a highly dedicated officer that wants to meet with her at 3:00 in the morning. Just doin’ his job ma’am.

Well, the terrorist mom makes it to the hospital and talks to her darling child. Lots of crying. She’s taken away and Jack becomes the Jack we all know and love. He tells him that he will make sure his Mom dies a slow painful death. The Half American terrorist comes out, but they cannot disarm the bomb, so Jack shoves him back into the chamber and the bomb goes off, killing the Half American terrorist.

However, before he went ka-blam, he names Tarin the co-conspirator. Jack calls President Poofy Hair and tells him. Mrs. President Poofy Hair calls Kayla who answers the phone and tells her that Tarin is no good, despite is six pack abs.

The episode ends with Jack instructing “Have them set up a perimeter until we arrive”. If I had a dollar every time I heard that.