A Super Romance

 

 

In case you haven't heard, Taylor Swift, Time Magazine's Person of The Year 2023, is dating future song subject Travis Kelce.  Kelce plays for the Kansas City Chiefs and is the favorite receiver of quarterback Patrick Mahomes.  Kelce is so important he not only dates Swift, who is a billionaire, but is also in State Farm commercials.

(I like the State Farm commercials, but seeing a State Farm agent hanging a football practice field is weird.)

Swift has transcended into a part of pop culture where we must be reminded how important she is every few minutes.  

Since I'm not a 14-year-old girl, I haven't paid that much attention to Taylor Swift.   I'm not as bad as William F. Buckley, who commented on the death of Jerry Garcia that if he ever heard a Grateful Dead song, he wasn't aware of it. I know three of her songs: "Tears On My Guitar," "Shake It Off," and "Anti-Hero."

 That's it. Sorry, I'll do better next pop superhero.

Somehow, and I need clarification, when this all began, Swift and Kelce started dating each other. Swift started showing up at Kansas City home games wearing Kansas City swag like Kelce gave her his letterman jacket.

 I mean, I have a hard time believing both of them were on Tinder (that's still a thing, right?), and one day, they swiped right and met for coffee. One thing led to another, and soon Ta-Ta was sitting next to Tra-Tra's mother at football games.

"What up? I saw your profile. I'm a tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs and I have a couple of Super Bowl rings. Additionally, I can introduce you to Jake from State Farm so you can combine your home and auto."

"Yeah, I'm a billionaire, and I write songs better than Joni Mitchell. Plus, if you into red lipstick, that's my jam."

Of course, this means we must see Taylor on TV and her reaction to anything Travis does on the field.  This means we see Taylor a lot and sports commentary like "I wonder what Taylor thought about that holding call".

As Triumph the Insult Comic Dog would say, it was the perfect storm for me to poop on.  Overexposed pop princess falls for meathead football player.  The jokes practically write themselves.

Of course, my fellow travelers on the Right have to come in and ruin everything by wondering, out loud, that the Taylor-Kelce hookup was some sort of "psyop" by the Biden campaign. Does anyone really believe the Biden campaign is that smart?

One podcaster, Mike Crispi, wrote on X (Twitter)about this romance: "All to spread DEMOCRAT PROPAGANDA. Calling it now: KC wins, goes to Super Bowl, Swift comes out at the halftime show and 'endorses' Joe Biden with Kelce at midfield. It's all been an op since day one."

I'm not sure Mike has actually ever watched football, but Kelce couldn't come out during halftime since his team is playing. But if this did happen, he can proudly say he called it first.

For years, Swift avoided politics because the mean girls thought politics was icky.  But she has for the past several years commented on political issues and always for Democrats, surprise, surprise.

Some people have other theories about conservative attacks on Swift.

Professor Joan Donavan says, "Amongst the right wing, because she is getting older and hasn't had children and whatnot, she's less seen as the traditional 'wifey' material."  In broad terms, Taylor Swift represents older, independent women who do not need male support to have a career, to self-determine where they're going."

First of all, who says "Amongst" anymore?

Secondly, I didn't know she didn't have any "whatnots."  At the big conservative meetings, we look at all the celebrities to ensure they have whatnots.

Some have suggested we ought to celebrate that Taylor and Travis "found love." Fine. Yippie. Famous people have found love.  I would be more receptive to it if Travis was on the taxi squad and Taylor was singing backup for Adele.