The Y'alls Of Attraction

Wikipedia describes Kim Kardashian as "an American television and social media personality, socialite, fashion designer, businesswoman, model, and actress". You might describe her using other words, like "ditz".

This was the only picture on the internet where she is wearing clothes

Ms. Kardashian, who is married to Rap Singer/Brain Surgeon Kayne West, has recently "broken" the internet by, now get this, posing nude in a couple of photographs. Imagine: nude women on the internet; who would have thought it?

Before you ask, the answer is yes. Purely in the interest of journalism, I have seen these two pictures. Verdict: It is not as hideous as John and Yoko Ono Lennon's  pictures from 45 years ago. You see both sides of Kim, if you catch my drift. One photo emphasizes her rather large behind. It is truly a Gluteus Maximus.  The second picture proves Kardashian has a rather skilled surgeon.

I guess it is because I am old or getting there, that I don't find Kardashian all that interesting. But some folks think she hung the moon (no pun intended).

I have always wondered what makes some people "hot" and others not.

Years ago, when my son was in middle school, we went to a party for other middle school students. The dads stayed in one room of the house, discussing all of the important topics, like rec league baseball and if that guy that was a jerk the year before (and the year before that and the year before) was going to be a jerk this year. (Answer: Of course.)

Meanwhile, the moms retired to another room and discussed another topic: Which movie star do you find sexy?

Now one thing you have to know about the moms: they are all "y'all girls". A "Y'all Girl" is a female indigenous to the South that use the word "Y'all" as part of Southern Female Parliamentary Procedure to indicate that they have the floor in the conversation. Generally it goes like this:  (First Female) "Y'all I just bought the cutest dress at Wal-Mart." (Second female) "Y'all I hate goin' to Wal-Mart." (Third Female) "Y'all. I met my third ex-husband at Wal-Mart" and so on for about two hours.

The first mom, who in the interest of privacy I'll call Susan, said "Y'all, I think Kurt Russell is sexy." The second mom, who just to pick a name out of the sky I'll call Kelly, said, "Y'all, I just love Val Kilmer" (like I said this was years ago).

A third mom said, "Y'all, you know who is really sexy? Bobby Murphy".  Bobby was this mom's husband. I wished the first two moms had said, "Y'all I want to change my vote to Bobby Murphy" because that would have been funny.  The fourth mom, who I'll call Lori because she is the love of my life said, "Y'all I think Johnny Depp is sexy". 

Johnny Depp.

My wife would never let my hair do this

I have known my wife since 1967 and had been married to her since 1986 and I never heard her say one word, pro or anti-sexy about Johnny Depp. I have heard her opinions on just about everyone else, including the artist that is currently known as Prince ("He looks like he smells") When I questioned her about it she said, "Now don't be jealous of Johnny Depp".

I am not jealous of  Johnny Depp. True, I'm jealous of his money and that someone from Kentucky can waltz around like he was raised on Champs Elysees, but other than that I have no real big beef with Johnny Depp.

I just don't see him as very sexy. I can understand Kurt Russell. I mean, he was the computer who wore tennis shoe and Wyatt Earp in Tombstone, probably one of the most under-rated movies of all time. Val Kilmer was Batman and in Top Gun, too, so I can understand that even though he has kind of gone to seed. Even Bobby Murphy (who, in the interest of complete disclosure, I have shared a bed with. Long story.)

I guess I can see, particularly after I've seen the pictures, how someone can think Kim Kardashian is sexy if you are into nekkid surgically altered dimwits.

For the record, Lori has informed me that she no longer finds Johnny Depp sexy.  I'm afraid to ask about Bobby Murphy.