Ready

There’s a PAC (political action committee) that is already preparing for the 2016 Presidential election. If you see anybody preparing for the 2016 Presidential election, it is not against the law to punch that person in the nose.

Take a wild guess who this PAC is pushing: Former First Lady Senator Secretary of State (FFLSSOS) Hillary Clinton. They have come up with a nifty marketing campaign for Mrs. Clinton. Like a certain current President who used one word to describe his campaign (“Hope”; “Change”; “Forward”; “Notmyfault”)  they have one word to describe Hillary. No, it is not a word commonly used at the veterinarian’s office. It is this: “Ready”.

The “Ready for Hillary” people have an online store and it sells t-shirts that has a likeness of Hillary with the word “Ready” underneath. It is very hard to describe this shirt in anything other than this objective way: it is creepy and should not be seen by small children or those with a medical condition. (“What happened to him?” “He got sick when he saw that Ready for Hillary shirt”.)

When I saw the shirt, I was trying to think where I had seen something like this before. Then it hit me: Spongebob Squarepants.

For those of you that have not been around any children in the past 20 years, Spongebob Squarepants is a cartoon made by people who obviously have taken LSD in both a research and recreational manner. It can be quite funny and has a neat little theme song. With a little work, this song could be used by FFLSSOS Clinton.

Who is next in line for the presidency?
Hil-lary Clin-ton!
Smart, tested, and wonderful is she!
Hil-lary Clin-ton!
If back with Bubba is something you wish!
Hil-lary Clin-ton!
She’ll make the Republicans flop like a fish!
Hil-lary Clin-ton
Ready?

Back in 2008, Clinton was supposed to be the nominee of the Democratic Party because we were finally ready for a woman president. Turns out we were not quite ready for a woman because there was another historic choice offered. And I’m not talking about the first major candidate in either party that is mentally challenged (Joe Biden).

No, Clinton was beaten by the first major candidate that possibly could have been born in Hawaii (NOTE: this is a joke). Then instead of choosing Clinton to be his running mate, this candidate chose Joe Biden.

Well, that candidate was Barack Obama and when he defeated his GOP opponent, he selected Clinton to be the Secretary of State. She accepted this task by traveling the world and not washing her hair.

Let’s look at the positives of Hillary Clinton. She has already lived in The White House. She is smart. She has the largest collection of pant suits outside of The Mary Tyler Moore Show. She would probably bring all of the old President Bill people with her like James Carville, who I think is from another planet.

She’s been around for over twenty years on the national stage. It seems like just yesterday she was telling us that she wasn’t going to make cookies and she wasn’t Tammy Wynette standing by her man. Then her husband got caught almost Don Draper-like with an intern. This led to the President of The United States taking up valuable prime time television  to tell us he had an “inappropriate relationship” with this intern. This led to many conversations at work, the park, and with friends about what sex was and wasn’t and did he really have sex if he just did this or that. The nation, with the help of the media, which let's face it, has its share of perverts, concluded what the President of The United States does in his private life with another consenting adult is his business even if it involves cigars.  It was a great time to raise a seven year old.

Bengahzi was an obvious lie from the get go. It was such an obvious lie that only a Clinton could have gotten away with it.  First it was due to a video. We’re going to get this guy who made that video (and do what, I never understood). When it was clear that even someone as dense as Joe Biden wouldn’t buy this story, Clinton calmly explained that she can’t be expected to read everything that comes into her office. On top of that, what difference does it make?

If Hillary is ready to be President, I’m ready to be depressed.