That Was The Week That Was

This past week wore me out.

On Sunday, we had the Super Bowl.  To me, the New Year really begins when The Super Bowl ends. The Chiefs versus the 49ers. The last time the Chiefs won a Super Bowl, I was going to East Valley Elementary School.

It was the Halftime Show which caused the most conversation.  I don't know exactly when the Halftime Show became such a big deal at the Super Bowl. Back when the Chiefs won their first Super Bowl, the Halftime Show was probably Up With People or Al Hirt (he played the trumpet).

This year, the Halftime Show was Jennifer Lopez and Shakira.  Entertainment Weekly called the show "ELECTRIC" while ABC News called it "Jaw-Dropping"

I don't know about all that. I would say it was hyper-sexual with crotch shots, booty shaking, and Lopez, pardon me, "J-Lo", simulating a private act out in public. I'm not a prude but I think we owe Janet Jackson an apology.  What happened at the 2004 Super Bowl was an accident. The 2020 Halftime Show was intentional.

Commercial after commercial told us dumb Americans that WOMEN ARE JUST AS GOOD AS MEN AND ONE DAY THEY WILL BE KICKING FIELD GOALS. Then the Halftime Show comes on and said women can be empowered hoochie-mommas.

Monday, we had the Iowa Democratic Caucus. Nobody really knows how the Caucuses work, especially Iowa Democrats. It ended up being the fuster clucks of all fuster clucks with the supposed Party of Science not knowing how to do math.

The country was spellbound waiting for the results of the Iowa Caucus for most of the week. Well, not really. I half-way expected a phone call telling me I won the Iowa Caucus on the basis of a coin toss performed at Cowpie High School's gymnasium in Dubuque.

It turns out, Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg sort of, kind of, might have won the Iowa Caucus. Someone that didn't win was Joe Biden who was supposedly THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD DEFEAT TRUMP.  It is not looking good for Joe, who really needs the help of somebody he used to work for, you know, what's his name?  It starts with a B.

Just putting this out there, but it is a real possibility that the Democrats will either nominate a self-described socialist or a mayor of a mid-sized Midwestern city who would be the first Mr. President with a First Gentleman.

Tuesday saw The President's State of The Union Address.

It was probably President Trump's best performance. None of the ad-libs, tasteless jokes, or general Trump goofiness. He was <gasp> "presidential".

Except at the beginning. When he got to the podium, he didn't shake Speaker Nancy Pelosi's hand.

Well, Pelosi sat behind Trump for the entire speech making her patented Tourette's faces until the end of the speech when she stood up and ripped her copy of the speech as some sort of statement. The statement was: I Am Insane. If she hadn't ripped up the speech, the conversation would have been about how petty Trump was not to shake her hand.  Nancy, Nancy, Nancy. Never wrestle with a pig, you get all muddy and the pig likes it.  Don't believe me?  Ask Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz.

Wednesday was Impeachment Vote day.  Surprise, surprise, as Gomer Pyle used to say. Republicans supported somebody from their party.

Except one.  Sen Mitt Romney who if memory serves, was the Republican nominee for President in 2012.  He voted for conviction on one of the counts. Of course, he is now persona-non-grata and the Trumpsters want to run him out of the party because he didn't bow at the altar of Trump.  And, of course, the media and Democrats are calling him a profile in courage when eight years ago they said he didn't pay his taxes and killed people with his Mormon death rays while wearing his freaky underwear.

Thursday was Victory Lap Day. After the State of The Union, I thought Trump just might change when he saw the positive reaction to him acting Presidential instead of like a trousered ape. Wrong.

He opened the day at The National Prayer Breakfast seemingly rejecting Jesus's command to love your enemies. From there, he held a celebration at the White House where he described the Russia Investigation as bull feces. In other words, he acted like Trump.

You either think he's playing 4-D chess or you think he's not playing with a full deck.

The cherry on top of the week was a three-hour Democratic party debate in New Hampshire. Who wouldn't want to end their workweek watching a three-hour political debate?  Not me. I was too tired from the week.