This Week's Picks!

It is that time of year again!  Time for our favorite professional sport, college football!

This marks the fifteenth year of "This Week's Picks".

It started on Wheeler Alumni. Com, which was a message board for the graduates of my alma mater, Wheeler High School.  I posted predictions on what I thought was the most interesting games and my fellow alumni would comment. Usually, their comments were along the lines of "You're stupid".

Due to something I never really understood, this message board went into hiatus for several years and I migrated  TWP (as it is known in the business) to Wheeler Alumni. Org another message board for the graduates of my high school. To my knowledge, it was the last Wheeler Alumni message board. There's not a Wheeler Alumni. Net or Wheeler Alumni. Gov.  Not yet, at least.

It was at.Org that I did my most ambitious TWP project.  I made predictions on all of the Bowl Games in 2007.  Do you know how many Bowl Games there were in 2007?  A lot and I got some of them right. Now I missed a lot, but I didn't care.  The reason I didn't care is I had what is clinically known as Heiney Surgery. You would be surprised how little you care about The Meineke Car Care Bowl when you have Heiney Surgery. (Wake Forest defeated Connecticut. I think I got that one right.)

TWP took another step forward when I added it to my blog (Humor Me) mainly because it counts as a weekly post.  In the first few years of my blog, TWP was one of my most commented on posts. Usually, again, it was "Your stupid"  (yes, I know, I misspelled "you're" but that's how we spell it nowadays)

Then, for some reason, I decided to move TWP to my Facebook page.  I received many comments to my Friday TWP Facebook post.  Mostly "U. R. Stoopid".

I finally brought it back to the blog where it belongs.

This Week's Picks!



Bullpuppies vs Crappy State: You could say Kirby Smart's first year as coach of UGA was a little bit disappointing, but give the guy credit: he guided the team back from a tough Nichols team!  The Dawgs start out with Appalachian State, who, if memory serves, stunned Michigan in the first game of the season in 2007.   Georgia better win. They will.  Georgia wins!


Bees vs Rocky Topped:  Coach Paul (Chuckles) Johnson leads The Wreck that Rambles into the new Please, Please Stay Falcons Stadium with a new quarterback and their best player being kicked off the team. This would be a problem if they were playing anybody else but Tennessee, who has not been exactly consistant over the past couple of years.   My rule of thumb: when the ACC plays the SEC, go with the SEC.  Tennessee wins!

Tide of Crimson vs Semi-noles  Remember those days when David Shula coached Bama and we were sure their glory days were behind them?  Good times.  Bama Coach Nick Satan has been planning for this game since  January 10th.  He has a process, you know.  Bama wins!

Wartigers vs The Blues of Statesboro:  Georgia Southern (motto: "I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow") travels to the loveliest village in the ugliest part of Alabama to pick up a pay check.  I wish The Eagles would make a game of it. They won't. Auburn wins.

Meechigan vs Lizards: Do you remember when people thought Jim Harbaugh was this real sharp guy? It's been a while. Anyway, Michigan plays Florida. Although I know many nice people that went to Florida, I dispise Florida, mainly because they always beat UGA. Michigan is a my favorite Big Ten team, even with Harbaugh.  I hate going with the Gators.  Florida wins!

 My Beloved Owls vs Baptist Bulldogs: Can you believe it is Kennesaw State's third football season? The Owls open their season against Samford, which supposedly houses a whole bunch of Baptists. Let us prey. Ha, Ha. See what I did there?   It would be a big deal if Kennesaw States wins. They won't.  Samford wins.

The Greatest Meme in the history of Memes

Josephine!

I think we can all agree that what happened in Charlottesville last week was a mess.

From the Neo-Nazis and J. Crew Ku Klux Klan kids to the Fascist Antifa to the Charlottesville Police being apparently at Dunkin Donuts to President Trump's attempt to calm the nation down by saying exactly the wrong words, it wasn't one of our brilliant, shining moments.

Could you imagine, Rev. Donald J. Trump, delivering a eulogy?

"Look, everybody knows the dearly departed drank way too much. His widow, look at her, she knows it. And he loved spending the family's rent money at the dog track.  Don't get me on his love for hookers. But, he was a great guy. Tremendous. Would do anything for you, if he was sober.  He leaves a wife, who isn't convincing anybody with those FAKE TEARS, a good for nothing son who needs a haircut, and a daughter who is really built." 

Apparently, all of this was started by marble. That's right, marble used for statues.

Charlottesville, which is home to The University of Virginia, decided to rename a park named after Confederate General Robert E. Lee and to remove his statue.  That brought out the Nazi Nuts (which used to open for The Dead Kennedys during the punk rock era) which brought out the Antifa (which stands for Anti-Fascists, and of course, their definition of fascism is very elastic).

In one of his many responses, President Trump noted that once you started tearing down statues of Robert E. Lee, people will soon go after George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.  To which, many said, "Thanks, we haven't thought about them!"

Of course, the Democratic Party, which should have the easiest job in the world (oppose whatever Trump supports) leaped into action. Forget about infrastructure!  Forget rising health insurance premiums. Forget North Korea!  We've got marble sculpted in the likeness of dead Southerners to get rid of!  Excelsior!

Last Thursday, our old pal Nancy Pelosi focused our attention on the hideous marble that lines Statutory Hall at the Capital.  Here's how The New York Times reported it with my comments parenthetically added.

“The Confederate statues in the halls of Congress have always been reprehensible", (If by "always" you mean you realized last week) Ms. Pelosi said, putting pressure on the House speaker, Paul D. Ryan of Wisconsin, to act.(Which he did by wetting his pants)“If Republicans are serious about rejecting white supremacy, I call upon Speaker Ryan to join Democrats to remove the Confederate statues from the Capitol immediately.” (Which were put in by Democrats in the first place, but don't even think about that.)

The New York Times showed photographs of the offensive statues and one of them was personal to me:  Joseph E. Wheeler.

My high school was named for this Confederate General. (By the way, did you know that my class is having our 40-year reunion despite the fact that all of my female classmates are still "foxy"? )   I have a picture, somewhere, of my wife posing next to the statue.

Here's what you need to know about Fighting Joe.

He was the shortest general in The Confederate Army.  He used a step stool to get on his horse. In a battle against Grant's Union Forces, General  Ulysses S. Grant urged his men to kill Wheeler.  Grant said, "Shoot low boys, he's riding a Shetland pony".

After the war, Wheeler went back to his home state of Alabama. He was so moved by his return, he wrote a poem, "Sweet Home Alabama".

However, war clouds soon rose again, and Wheeler rejoined the Army and served as a General during The Spanish-American War.

Wheeler made a startling announcement when he returned home:  he announced he was going to identify as a woman because he wants to have a baby.   He began to wear a dress and referred to himself as "Josephine Wheeler".

A Broadway musical will open this fall about him:  "JOSEPHINE!"   (The playbill features a man with a beard wearing a 1905 dress doing a high kick.)

Most of the "facts" reported above are not true.  But, it is probably the only way his statue would be able to stay in Statutory Hall.

By the way, the part about him being the shortest general is true. It is not confirmed that he used a step stool to mount his horse.

Reunion FAQs

In case you didn't know, my class at Wheeler High School, the class of 1977 (Motto: "The Gum Of Yesterday Is Left Under The Desks Of Today For The Children Of Tomorrow") is having our 40-year class reunion.

You know what that means: reminiscing about our hard lives.

"Yeah, kids today, don't know what's it is like having to get your lazy rump off the couch to turn a knob to change a channel. It was rough back then. You only had three of them. ABC, NBC, and CBS. But we liked it. We loved it".

"Yeah, they don't know what's it is like NOT having a Dunkin Donuts and Baskin-Robbins at the same place."

"Yeah, back in my day you only had one type of coffee! Black! The way God designed it in the Bible. Not the four hundred types you have today. I don't even know what a Latte is-I hope I never find out".

I am a part of the Reunion Committee and we have been meeting monthly at a local down-home, meat and three restaurant ( Motto: "Pay No Attention To That Health Inspection Score") to organize the reunion.  I am happy to present a FAQ- Frequently Asked Questions regarding the reunion.


When:  It is October 14, 2017.  This is a Saturday.

Time:  7:00 pm - 11:00 pm

Where:  Hilton Atlanta Marietta Hotel and Conference Center, 500 Powder Springs Street. Marietta, GA 30064.     It is the same location as the 20-year reunion and the last place some of us tried, in 70's style, to "get down".

Pretty Snazzy

Cost: Tickets are $65.00 each UNTIL September 1st when the price will raise to...dun-dun. DUN...$70.00 a ticket.


GAH, I mean, GAH, why so much? GAH:  When looking for a place to have a reunion we were faced with several options. All of the options cost money. Frankly, a lot of the less expensive options were disappointing.  The cost includes the rental of the ballrooms and a NICE SIT DOWN MEAL.

Ballrooms?  Yes, one for the dinner and one for getting down or getting up to boogie.

Is there going to be a program?    Yes. I will be Your Grand Host (YGH) and there will be some remarks by The Grammar Hammer himself, Marietta Daily Journal columnist Roger Hines.

You?   Yes.  I have a long association with Wheeler High School. I lived across the street from it for 10 years. I was married in the church next door.  I have written a book that sold into the dozens about Wheeler. Plus, I sleep with someone on the committee. (It is my wife. GAH!  Get your minds out of the gutter. GAH!)

Wait. Your wife wasn't in The Class of 77.  Can members of other classes come?   As long as you buy a ticket, we welcome members of other classes. Unless, of course, you want to spread propaganda about how your class was as good or better, then you can keep your filthy lies to yourself.

Can I Bring My Spouse?  Yes, with a purchase of a ticket.  Your spouse will want to bask in the glory of The Class of '77.

Do You Have A Website?  Yes, it is www.whs77.org.  I would like to take this opprotunity to -thank Sandy Dasinger Quarles, who designed and operates the website. The website has a Paypal link, which all of the kids are using nowdays. Or you mail a check to Sandy at 1047 Ven Villa Road, Marietta, GA 30062

She Went To Georgia Tech?   Yep and it came in handy because the rest of us (UGA grads and one lone Kennesaw State grad) can barely operate a cell phone.

How Should We Dress?   Cobb County has strict laws regarding public middle aged nudity, so you must wear clothes.  The type of clothes to be worn is "Dressy Causal" .  No tuxedos, no evening dresses, etc, like The Acadmey Awards.  It also means you don't dress like you are going to Wal-Mart.

No

No

 No

No

Yes. This came from a website about "Dressy Causal"

Yes

Most Important of All: Will there be a bar?  Yes, there will be a cash bar. While I don't know exactly what they'll have, they will have the usual: beer, wine, etc. Not sure if you'll be able to order an Onery Moscow Mule, but there will be plenty of loudmouth soup available. 

So, there you have it gang. If you have any other questions, just ask me either on this page or on Facebook.

www.whs77.org