2022: The Longest Year

 

 Here we are at the end of 2022. Finally.

We should be thankful for the little things in 2022. Like when President Joe "Joe" Biden was wrong when he said we might be on the verge of a nuclear apocalypse.  The White House said the President misspoke, which the President has been known to do.  

We didn't have a nuclear apocalypse.  That's good.

But we did have supply chain issues with baby formula, but no big whoop, Future President Mayor Pete handled the situation when he returned to the office after using several months of PTO days.

Russia invaded Ukraine because it happens to be sitting right next to Russia.  Because this happened when a Democrat was President, all of these former hippies are pro-war, and all of the hawks of the Republican party are anti-war.

In political news, it was an election year. It didn't look good for President Grandpa.  Inflation is out of control. Crime is rampant on the streets. The border is overrun with people that want to be flown to Martha's Vineyard.  It had all of the elements of a wipe-out at the ballot box.

To unite the country,  President Pawpaw basically said everything would be okay if it weren't for those MAGA Republicans, who are, stop me if you have heard this, a threat to Democracy.

The President was assisted by former President Trump who is still a significant force in the Republican party despite being as crazy as a Betsy Bug. (Note:  I don't know exactly what a Betsy Bug is, but my mother always said they were crazy.)

Speaking of President Trump,  his house was raided or had a search warrant executed on it due to "The Presidential Records Act". This caused a commotion if you don't remember.  You had a great moment where Trump explained that he could declassify a classified document just by thinking about it and not telling anybody.

Against the background of the election determining whether Democracy was going to live or die, you had The House Select Committee To Review The January 6, 2021, Riot Featuring The Only Two Good Republicans.  They issued a report (surprise) recommending criminal charges against President Trump that included obstruction of an official proceeding of Congress, assisting an insurrection, conspiring to defraud the United States and having the most ridiculous hair in public life.

This helped the Red Wave become a Red Tinkle.  Also, the Republicans nominated several candidates that were as loony as Trump including Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker who brought to the forefront this issue:  Vampires or Werewolves? 

So Democracy was saved, once again, by Pennsylvania electing a cosplaying trust fund kid that has obviously been damaged by a stroke over Dr. "Oz" Oz.

It was not all good news for the Democrats. The most extraordinary living person in the world, Stacy Abrams, lost to the only politician that does not know how to smile, Brian Kemp. Ms. Abrams took it all in stride, and instead of denying the election results like a certain orange person, she returned to her job as President of Earth.

The most important event was not the Russian invasion of Ukraine or the Mid-Term Elections. Instead, it was Will Smith hard-slapping Chris Rock over a joke.   When this happened during the Oscar telecast, Smith was immediately arrested for assault and battery.

Wait, that's what would happen in the "real world".   After the slap, Smith took his seat and dropped a couple of major league F-bombs. Then he won the Best Actor award and was given a standing ovation by the audience, who feared he would slap them too. 

This resulted in Smith keeping his Oscar but being banned from attending any Academy programs for ten years, which is a reward, not a punishment.   

In sports news, The Georgia Bulldogs defeated The Alabama Crimson Tide to win the NCAA FBS Championship. The Angels rejoiced.

The Atlanta Braves debuted their 2021 World Series Rings, which weighed forty pounds and contained a miniature television.

We lost a lot of famous people in 2022:  Bob Segat, Meat Loaf, Sally Kellerman, Pope Benedict, Barbara Walters, Pele, Christie Alley, Bill Russell, and Queen Elizabeth, among many others.

However, none affected me more than the death of my friend Bill Wade.

I've written about it before, but the year slowed on the day in June when he called to say they found cancerous lesions on his pancreas that metastasized to his liver. The doctor gave him three to five months. Bill died in September.

He made chicken salad out of this chicken poop of a diagnosis. He got his affairs in order and told his loved ones and friends goodbye. This included my wife and me in September, about three weeks before he died.

So, 2022 was the year that Bill Wade died. I think about him daily.

What Former Presidents Do

 

You may remember Donald J. Trump. You know, orange hair and body, always yelling about election results. Yeah, that guy.

He recently made a major announcement titled "IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT."

The MAGA-Twitterverse was all in a stir because some thought Trump would name his 2024 running mate. Somebody posted that they thought Trump would name Kari Lake, the lady who ran for governor of Arizona and told a bunch of RINOs that she didn't want their vote. Guess what? She didn't get their votes and she lost her race.

It turns out that was not the important announcement. Instead, the important announcement was a collection of digital baseball cards or NFTs that featured Trump in various Superhero poses. 

Now, what are NFTs? NFT stands for "Non-fungible tokens (NFTs) are cryptographic assets on a blockchain with unique identification codes and metadata that distinguish them from each other." I hope that clears it up because I sort of know what a "cryptographic asset" is and that is only because I went to Wheeler High School. I'm not saying we used to sit around and talk about "cryptographic assets." We talked about "assets" that certain class members had. But, hey, I was a young man, cut me some slack.

Trump's NFTs were a bargain, I guess, at $99.00 each. Trump is really into helping the working class, and there's nothing the working class needs more than an NFT of Trump dressed up like Superman.

The website CryptoPotato reports, "The collection featured 2,533 NFTs in total sold for $99 each – meaning the sale raised over $250,000. Each NFT purchased entered buyers into sweepstakes with a chance to win various prizes, including a 20-minute meeting with Trump, a zoom call, a golf game, or an autograph signed by the celebrity."

I live in Cobb County which is not Trump's favorite county in the world so if I won a 20-minute meeting with him, 19 minutes of it would be him complaining about a rigged election.

 

Plus, I don't own any other NFTs and they just don't seem like good investments to me.  I like to invest in things I semi-understand.  But don't listen to me. I haven't watched CNBC in years.

I showed Trump's announcement to my wife.  She just said, "Bless."  When a Southern woman says that, it means she is not impressed. Trust me on that.

I agree Trump's NFTs are hokey and stupid and it takes narcissism to a whole new level. Trump is sort of known for that

 

But Presidents have been trading in on their office since Grant. But, of course, Grant was trying to provide for his family while he was dying of cancer.

Former Presidents over the years have written memoirs with titles like "A Time For Really Big Ideas Or Something" and "Dang, Who Is That Chick?" (Bill Clinton). 

 

Former Presidents will also give speeches for money. It is a pretty good gig.  Show up, people applaud, tell a few lame jokes, give the speech, get the check, and you're back home before dark.

 

My favorite President out of office story comes from a book called Harry Truman's Excellent Adventure: The True Story Of A Great American Road Trip by Matthew Algeo.  

When Truman left office in 1953, he didn't have a Presidential pension, so he did various odd out-of-office jobs to bring in the money.

 

One day, the President of Chrysler gave Truman a new car.  

Truman had a speech to give in Washington, DC, in which he was going to hammer President Eisenhower. So instead of taking a train or a plane, Harry drove with Bess in the new car to Washington from Independence, Missouri and then went up to New York City, where somebody had given him tickets to a Broadway play ("Wicked").

This was before the Interstate Highway system came about, so you had Harry and Bess tooling along the back roads of America. It is also important to note that they had no secret service protection for this trip.

Harry gave his speech. Harry and Bess saw their play. Then, they went home to Missouri. Along the way they stopped for gas, to stretch their legs, and to get something to eat.  Many ordinary Americans told their friends they saw Truman today.

I don't think he made as much money as Trump's NFTs, but at least he wasn't dressed up like a cowboy or Superman. 

 

 

A Charlie Brown Recap

 

 

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" will not be shown on broadcast television, this year. However, you can stream it on Apple +.

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" starts out like most Christmas specials-young children skating on a pond with no adults in sight. I grew up in the sixties and seventies and I can assure you that adults were somewhere, probably smoking a cigarette.

Charlie Brown who is a blockhead, confides to his six year old friend, Linus, that he has clinical depression despite it being Christmas. Charlie Brown blames it on Christmas being "too commercialized." A good child psychiatrist would blame Charlie Brown's condition on a chemical imbalance and prescribe some drugs to him pronto.

Charlie Brown then seeks psychiatric help from Linus's bipolar sister, Lucy. I don't think Lucy is on Charlie's PPO plan, but she charges only five cents, so even back in 1965, a kid could scrounge up a nickel if he had to

 

Lucy suggests Charlie Brown direct the Annual Children's Christmas Pageant, like she owned the thing.  Of course, get a kid to direct the other kids direct a Christmas pageant.  

Again, I was living back in the sixties and seventies  and I can assure you adults directed Christmas pageants.  I was in several and even wore a white beard in one because I was a shepherd.  My mom and the director had it out because the director didn't want me to wear my glasses.  They didn't have glasses back in First Century Israel. You can look it up.

My point: it wasn't the helicopter parent life that we are living now, but it wasn't the Wild West either where children could just come in and announce they are the director because they are clinically depressed.  

As they head to the rehearsal hall, Lucy tells Charlie Brown that she wants real estate for Christmas.  She may be bipolar but she is a good investor.

They walk past Snoopy's house. Snoopy is Charlie Brown's dog who lives somewhere near his house, I think. Anyway, there is a Christmas Decoration Contest and Snoopy has entered it.  Snoopy does a really good job considering he is color-blind and has mental issues himself, like his delusion of being a World War I fighter pilot.

At the rehearsal hall, it is chaos. The kids are dancing the latest dance craze including one that looks like it is called "Stick Out Your Arms And Walk Like Frankenstein".

(Incidentally, my wife says I dance like Linus.)

This freaks out Charlie Brown because he has this artistic vision of a Christmas  Pageant that doesn't include a dog playing the guitar.  To make the Christmas Pageant something that sort of looks like a Christmas Pageant, Charlie Brown announces he is going to a Christmas Tree lot to find a Christmas Tree.  Lucy says this is a great idea because: a) It gets Charlie Brown out of the building and b) she can sexually harass Schroeder.

 

At the Christmas Tree lot, they have only one real Christmas Tree left.  Actually, it is more like a twig, but Charlie Brown believes that if you decorate it just right, it will look like a Christmas tree.  

I don't know how much Charlie Brown paid for the tree, but it was a rip-off.

At the rehearsal hall, everybody laughs at Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree, because, to be honest, it did suck.  Charlie Brown then asks if anyone knows "what Christmas is all about".

 

 

Linus steps forward and tells the ACTUAL CHRISTMAS STORY FROM THE BIBLE. Yes, that BIBLE. Even in 1965, shows were not quoting The Bible. "Jeb, I want you to read from the Good Book, the KING JAMES VERSION, not one of these hippie versions"

It is a moving scene and probably one of the few times in a year the Bible shows up on TV. 

Charlie Brown takes the Christmas Tree home to decorate it because, you know, the pageant can take care of itself. He walks by Snoopy's dog house and Snoopy has won FIRST PLACE, which shows you the creative skills of the humans in Charlie Brown's town. They lose to a color-blind dog.

 

Of course he is not happy about this, but he takes an ornament from the dog house and puts it on the tree.  Of course, this kills the tree.

This puts Charlie Brown into a deeper depression that can only be solved by alcohol which they would probably sell to a minor in that town.

Meanwhile, the other kids follow Charlie Brown because they realize they were mean to Charlie Brown. Plus, Pigpen really needed to take a bath, you know

Linus uses his blanket to give the tree some support and they take the rest of the decorations off of Snoopy's doghouse and make the crummy little tree beautiful.

The kids then began to sing one of the classic Christmas Carols: "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer".  Check that, it was "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing".  Charlie Brown hears it and walks back and sees the now beautiful Christmas Tree.   

"Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!" they exclaim and they all continue singing the hymn, which included the singing technique of holding your head back and sticking your nose in the air.

 

This Month's Picks

 

 

Well, another exciting year of college football has come to an end. This year, I'm going to do something I haven't done since 2007:  I'm making picks in ALL of the bowl games. 

Gambling is a disease. But it is the only disease in which you can make a MILLION DOLLARS. (Thanks, Norm McDonald for that great joke.) Because of that, please don't bet on any of these games and my "selections" are for entertainment value only. 

Bahamas Bowl
Miami (Ohio) vs. UAB
Miami (Ohio)  is playing against The University of Alabama (Birmingham). If you have to play in a no name bowl, you might as well play it in the Bahamas.   UAB wins.

Cure Bowl
No. 24 Troy vs. No. 25 UTSA

Troy wins. 

Saturday, Dec. 17

Fenway Bowl
Cincinnati vs. Louisville 

Last year, Cincinnati made it into the playoffs and this year they are playing at Fenway Park a week before Christmas. Cincinnati wins.

Celebration Bowl
Jackson State vs. N.C. Central

Jackson State with or without Deion wins.

 

New Mexico Bowl
SMU vs. BYU

BYU wins

LA Bowl
Washington State vs. Fresno State

Washington State wins because they always bring their flag to Gameday.

LendingTree Bowl
Rice vs. Southern Mississippi

What? Rice is in a bowl game?  Southern Miss wins this one because two of my favorite high school teachers, Mr. Hines and Kitty Love went there.  In fact, Mr. Hines went there while Jimmy Buffett went there.

Las Vegas Bowl
No. 14 Oregon State vs. Florida

Oregon State in this one.  Florida has been stinky this year.

Frisco Bowl
Boise State vs. North Texas

Boise State wins.

 

Monday, Dec. 19

Myrtle Beach Bowl
Marshall vs. UConn

Marshall, I guess. UConn is head coach used to coach the Falcons

Tuesday, Dec. 20

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Eastern Michigan vs. San Jose State

Do you know the way to San Jose?  Eastern Michigan won't  San Jose wins

Boca Raton Bowl
Liberty vs. Toledo

Liberty because they have prayed about it.

Wednesday, Dec. 21

New Orleans Bowl
South Alabama vs. Western Kentucky

Western Kentucky wins this one. No, I don't know what their blob mascot is supposed to be.

Thursday, Dec. 22

Armed Forces Bowl
Baylor vs. Air Force

The Baptist Bears win this one.

Friday, Dec. 23

Gasparilla Bowl
Wake Forest vs. Missouri

Missouri made it to a bowl?  Wake Forest wins this.

Independence Bowl
Houston vs. Louisiana

I'm assuming that is Louisiana-Lafeyette.  Houston is a bigger school and should win this.

Saturday, Dec. 24

Hawai'i Bowl
Middle Tennessee State vs. San Diego State

When did they start putting an ' between to the two i's in Hawaii?  Was it in an email I missed?  Good for Middle Tennessee for earning this vacation bowl. I'm going with Middle Tennessee because my buddies Joey and Katy Wade graduated from there.

Monday, Dec. 26

Quick Lane Bowl
Bowling Green vs. New Mexico State

Bowling Green. Why not?

Tuesday, Dec. 27

First Responder Bowl
Memphis vs. Utah State

I'm going with Utah State because I have a Utah State t-shirt.

Birmingham Bowl
Coastal Carolina vs. East Carolina

Wow, I'm going with Coastal because their ugly uniforms with sicken East Carolina.

Camellia Bowl
Buffalo vs. Georgia Southern

My son and my money went to Georgia Southern.  Georgia Southern wins this. 

Guaranteed Rate Bowl
Oklahoma State vs. Wisconsin

Okie State in this one.

Wednesday, Dec. 28

Military Bowl
Duke vs. UCF

Dook wins

Liberty Bowl
Arkansas vs. Kansas

Bacon Bits come up short. Kansas wins

Holiday Bowl
No. 15 Oregon vs. North Carolina

Ugh. Oregon wins

Texas Bowl
Texas Tech vs. Ole Miss

Ole Mess wins

Thursday, Dec. 29

Pinstripe Bowl
Minnesota vs. Syracuse

Syracuse wins

Cheez-It Bowl
No. 13 Florida State vs. Oklahoma

When did Florida State become rank in the polls? They win

Alamo Bowl
No. 12 Washington vs. No. 20 Texas

Washington wins.

Friday, Dec. 30

Orange Bowl
No. 6 Tennessee vs. No. 7 Clemson

If Tennessee's quarterback wasn't hurt, I think they'd win. If Clemson plays their freshman quarterback they'll win.

Duke's Mayo Bowl
No. 23 NC State vs. Maryland

NC State. easy.

Sun Bowl
No. 18 UCLA vs. Pitt

UCLA defeats Pitt

Gator Bowl
No. 19 South Carolina vs. No. 21 Notre Dame

The Chickens win.

Arizona Bowl
Ohio vs. Wyoming

Wyoming wins.

Saturday, Dec. 31

Fiesta Bowl (College Football Playoff semifinal)
No. 2 Michigan vs. No. 3 TCU

Michigan defeats The Aroused Frogs. Barely.

Peach Bowl (College Football Playoff semifinal)
No. 1 Georgia vs. No. 4 Ohio State

Jawja beats The Ahia State University

Music City Bowl
Iowa vs. Kentucky

Iowa defeats Kentucky 6-2

Sugar Bowl
No. 5 Alabama vs. No. 9 Kansas State

Alabama pouts and is beaten by Kansas State

Monday, Jan. 2

ReliaQuest Bowl
No. 22 Mississippi State vs. Illinois

The Upright Bulldogs win,

Citrus Bowl
No. 17 LSU vs. Purdue

Ellesyou wins.

Cotton Bowl Classic
No. 10 USC vs. No. 16 Tulane

If Tulane wins, USC will never hear the end of this.  USC wins

Rose Bowl Game
No. 8 Utah vs. No. 11 Penn State

Utah, all the way. 

"Yellowstone" Season Five Recap So Far

 

I saw a meme on Facebook that said, "I've never seen one minute of "Yellowstone".

There are memes like this all the time on Facebook. "I've never eaten a potato chip".   You'll have people post comments on it: "Me neither," "I thought I was the only one",  "Potato chips, what's that?"

 "Yellowstone" is just one of the most popular television shows out now and it is important to keep up with what's popular because they make quick and easy blog posts.

The first thing you need to know about "Yellowstone" is that it is a combination of "Dallas" and "The Sopranos" in the fact that it is a drama about a family and that family kills a lot of people and uses the F-word.

One of the surprising things about the show is how much the word is used on the Paramount Network, which is a basic cable channel.  Paramount owns CBS and pretty soon they're going to roboot some  iconic CBS shows giving them such titles like "I Effing Love Lucy" and "Murder, She Effing Wrote". 

Let's see where we are at in Season Five of "Yellowstone".

John Dutton is now the governor of Montana due to his overwhelming charisma. His campaign slogan "I Hate Everybody Who Tries To Breath My Air" really struck a chord with Montana voters who are tired of all of the outsiders moving in telling them they stink.  As a Georgian, I can relate.

John handles his duties as governor of Montana by breathing heavy and mumbling. To cheer himself up, he'll go and fire some mid level bureaucrats.

When his goofball cowhands shot some protected wolves that had the temerity to attack some Yellowstone cattle, the federal government sent some officers in to confront John. John, while only being a politician for a few months, was talented enough to lie to the Feds.  The former governor, who is one of John's gal pals, suggested John appoint an environmentalist as an advisors, John then pardoned his other gal pal, a wackodoodle liberal, who was conveniently in jail.

In addition to pardoning the wackodoodle liberal, John also performed the old Bull Durham on her if you catch my drift.  (Somewhere, President Clinton is saying to himself, "Why didn't I think of that?")

You will be happy to know that Beth Dutton is still her calm, rationale self if being calm and rationale means busting a beer bottle on the face of a woman flirting with her husband.  Beth was wearing a dress that accentuated her Grand Tetons which would be an hilarious joke if the Grand Tetons were in Montana. They are in Wyoming. The mountains, not Beth Dutton's bosoms.

Beth was bailed out of jail by her adopted brother, Jamie, who is considered effeminate because he has read a book.  Beth hates Jamie which is understandable because, well, I forgot, just trust me Beth  really hates Jamie. Beth is not bi-polar. Beth is tri-polar. 

Brother Kayce is still wondering why his name is not spelled "Casey".  His wife, the Hot Indigenous Woman, is still whiny.  In past seasons, she was mainly whiny because of THE WHITE MAN and she taught a course at Montana State University called Why The White Man Sucks Except For My Husband Who Is Cute Even Though He Can't Spell His Name. (Just for the record, Kennesaw State defeated Montana State in football in 2017)

This season is different though. She (don't ask why) decided to drive herself to the hospital while she was in labor.  A buffalo stepped out in the road and she wrecked the car.  She gave birth in a field and the baby died at the hospital. Okay, that is a reason to be whiny. John was actually fairly human to her at the funeral ceremony which included the burial of a horse next to the baby. 

The Indigenous Version Of John is still walking around looking noble. The first thing John did when he took office was cancel the building of a casino which would bring people to Montana and provide jobs to Indigenous people because John  is a graduate of the Joe Biden School Of Decision Making. John has agreed to meet with his Indigenous Version of Himself to discuss this issues which means John will probably send Beth to the meeting because she is so diplomatic.

The cowhands are still goofy. They play cards a lot and sit around saying the F-word. 

The Oscar Winning Cowboy takes showers with his girlfriend in the bunkhouse communal bathroom. When I was in college, we had a communal bathroom in our dorm and it was the home of several communicable diseases, so she must really like him.

The Old Anti-Vax Cowboy is seventy years old and the boys gave him a Giza Dream blanket from My Pillow at his birthday celebration.  His birthday party was at the bar in Bozeman which saw Beth attack a woman with a beer bottle.  That was a birthday to remember.

 The Michael Landon Cowgirl is still speaking gibberish.

Rip, who is married to Beth, is still John's right hand man and he is sort of raising an orphan kid Beth took in last season by swearing at the kid and giving him impossible tasks to do.

But, and this is important and I am not making this up, nobody has been taken to "the train station" this season.  Don't worry. I'm sure they will.

 

General Thoughts

 

I haven't been able to post in the past couple of weeks for several reasons.

As I've mentioned, my college roommate, with whom I've been close friends all these years, died from Pancreatic Cancer in late September.

It was quite a shock. He's fine in May. Calls in June to tell us the news. We see him in early September.  He's gone at the end of the month.

We went up to Bowling Green, Kentucky, for his memorial service. This leads me to my first general thought:  Older church folks bring food to comfort people in times of great loss.  It is something my generation and younger have forgotten.

I wish I could remember all of the food at my friend's house. Someone brought over a "Tailgate Salad".  I don't know what made it a tailgate salad, but it was good.

Another person brought over a tray of Chick-fil-A nuggets. My advice to anyone and everyone: always take a tray of Chick-fil-A nuggets. If someone doesn't like Chick-fil-A nuggets, they have hairy thighs and don't love the Lord.  Yes, I know Ludlow Porch came up with that phrase. Or maybe it was Lewis Grizzard. In any event, Chick-fil-A nuggets are marvelous.

Another thought. Atlanta traffic is based on this simple proposition: The person ahead of you in traffic is going to get to their destination before you and that is WRONG. 

I was driving on I-285 on Thanksgiving evening. It sort of resembled a scene out of "The Fast And The Furious" if every driver was stuffed to the gills with turkey.

Turn signals?  Why do you want to know?  Speed limits? More like Speed Suggestions.  Why is everybody driving with their headlights on like it is dark or something? 

Another thought.  People have strong opinions. Many of those opinions are insane, like "Die Hard" is a Christmas movie.

Fact: it is not. 

Yet some people have made this their destiny in life to proclaim "Die Hard," a Christmas movie right up there with Ralphie and The BB Gun.

Which reminds me, they have come out with a sequel to "A Christmas Story" called "Ralphie Has A Drinking Problem".  

Just joking.  It is called "A Christmas Story Christmas". Ralphie returns home for Christmas and meets all his old pals, including the guy who got his tongue stuck to the pole. I think he owns a bar.

 

Scut Farkus (yes, I thought it was "Scott", too) shows up and he is a policeman.  I don't know what happened to his crummy little toady, Grover Dill. Grover's probably in jail or moved to Georgia to work at Lockheed.

My son said it was a pretty good movie.  I taught him that "A Christmas Story" was a great Christmas movie like all great fathers should.  I don't know what he thinks about "Die Hard". 

This leads me to my final thought.  My son and his wife are having a baby.  Actually, my daughter in law is having the baby.  This mean my wife and I are entering a new phase of our lives: grandparents.

I don't know about you, but I always thought grandparents were supposed to be old and not young whippersnappers like me.  I remember my grandmother, she was about 180 when she stayed at our house.  I'm a spry 63 if I don't say so myself.

We are thrilled half to death, as we say down here.  I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I was somebody's father. Now, I have to deal with the fact that I am somebody's grandfather. 

It is pretty cool. I'm going to teach him how to tell jokes.  Such as: Why do cows wear bells?  Because their horns don't work.  My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play at that game. I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.

 

The kid can't help but be popular.

 

I'm also going to tell him that certain football teams are bad like the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets and the Florida Gators.  Then I'll him it is all in good fun and you have to take the wins with the losses.  Just please, Lord, don't let him become an Alabama fan.

Not So Instant Analysis

 

Look, I have good reasons for not commenting on the 2022 Mid-Term elections.

One: the election really isn't over. Sort of.  We have another run-off here in Georgia with two candidates who apparently didn't like their wives.  You can't imagine how thrilled we are here in Georgia that we have six more weeks of commercials.

Commercial One:  (Voice over)  "Herschel Walker.  My God."  

Commercial Two:  (Voice over)  "Raphael Warnock is the reason you pay five dollars for gas. Plus, he tried to run over his wife because Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi told him to TAKE HER OUT".

Two:  It apparently takes Arizona and Nevada weeks, if not months, to count votes.  How is this possible?  You knew the winner of "American Idol" the next day.  I hate to be partisan, but it is strange how these lengthy voting stories always seem to end with the person with the (D) beside their name winning the election

Three:  I've been really swamped.  As I mentioned in my last two posts, my friend Bill died.  I wasn't in the mood to write about Stacey Abrams and her big brain.

But while I'm at it, I'm not sure what office Stacey Abrams was seeking.  I kept seeing signs that she was running for governor here in Georgia, but at times it seemed like she was running to be Prime Minister of The Cool Kids Table.  She would tweet about wanting to be the governor of the "great state of Georgia", and then you'd see a news clip of her saying we were terrible and we needed to have a "conversation". 

Abrams was running against Brian Kemp. Brian Kemp is the only politician I've ever witnessed that does not know how to smile.  But, I give him this. He opened the state when everybody (and I mean everybody, including Big Bad Orange Man) was calling him a killer. Kemp also stood up to Trump when Trump wanted to "find" eleven thousand votes. If Kemp was from Vidalia, they would say he has onions.

In any event, the early predictions by the people who predict things for a living said there was going to be a "red wave" meaning the Republicans would take over the Senate along the House. 

That didn't exactly happen.

The Mid Terms basically kept the "status quo" (which is Latin for "A quo that is status"). Apparently there are several reasons for this.

One reason is The Dobbs Decision by The Supreme Court, which overturned Roe vs Wade, will somehow lead to Trojan condoms being outlawed.  The Democrats got their voters to the polls by fear- mongering that they would not be able to terminate a pregnancy after the baby was born.  As we all know, this country was founded on reproductive rights and everybody has the right to choose unless it is a vaccine.

The second reason is DEMOCRACY WAS ON THE LINE.  This is because President Orange and January 6th. One really famous historian, Michael Beschloss, said, “Fifty years from now, if historians are allowed to write in this country and if there are still free publishing houses and a free press — which I’m not certain of, but if that is true — a historian will say what was at stake … was the fact whether we will be a democracy in the future, whether our children will be arrested and conceivably killed.”

I watch FOX News, but I've never seen Tucker Carlson advocate arresting and killing children, so I'm not sure where Dr. Beschloss derived his opinion. But hey, he's made a living out of being a history major, so I salute him for that. 

It just seems like Democrats understand the game a little bit better. They have convinced people that standing in line without a slice of pizza is cruel and inhuman. They have convinced people to fill out a ballot at home, and they will drop by the house and pick it up for you and take it to the election polling place to be counted. That's so sweet.

One result of this lousy election cycle for the Republicans is that it looks like maybe, possibly, the Republicans are ready to move on from President Trump. That is if it is all right with him. 

Well, it won't be.  Trump will hit the RINOS (Republicans before 2015) with one of his zingers, and they'll go back to begging Trump to mention how cool they are to one of his golfing buddies.

Another result will be President Pap-Paw thinking he is doing this SUPER job. The people love paying more for gas and groceries! People love being called terrorists for having the gall to question a school board. Worry out loud about a nuclear holocaust?  People can't get enough of it.

It looks like we're going to have more of the same. Way to go, guys, way to go.