General Thoughts

 

I haven't been able to post in the past couple of weeks for several reasons.

As I've mentioned, my college roommate, with whom I've been close friends all these years, died from Pancreatic Cancer in late September.

It was quite a shock. He's fine in May. Calls in June to tell us the news. We see him in early September.  He's gone at the end of the month.

We went up to Bowling Green, Kentucky, for his memorial service. This leads me to my first general thought:  Older church folks bring food to comfort people in times of great loss.  It is something my generation and younger have forgotten.

I wish I could remember all of the food at my friend's house. Someone brought over a "Tailgate Salad".  I don't know what made it a tailgate salad, but it was good.

Another person brought over a tray of Chick-fil-A nuggets. My advice to anyone and everyone: always take a tray of Chick-fil-A nuggets. If someone doesn't like Chick-fil-A nuggets, they have hairy thighs and don't love the Lord.  Yes, I know Ludlow Porch came up with that phrase. Or maybe it was Lewis Grizzard. In any event, Chick-fil-A nuggets are marvelous.

Another thought. Atlanta traffic is based on this simple proposition: The person ahead of you in traffic is going to get to their destination before you and that is WRONG. 

I was driving on I-285 on Thanksgiving evening. It sort of resembled a scene out of "The Fast And The Furious" if every driver was stuffed to the gills with turkey.

Turn signals?  Why do you want to know?  Speed limits? More like Speed Suggestions.  Why is everybody driving with their headlights on like it is dark or something? 

Another thought.  People have strong opinions. Many of those opinions are insane, like "Die Hard" is a Christmas movie.

Fact: it is not. 

Yet some people have made this their destiny in life to proclaim "Die Hard," a Christmas movie right up there with Ralphie and The BB Gun.

Which reminds me, they have come out with a sequel to "A Christmas Story" called "Ralphie Has A Drinking Problem".  

Just joking.  It is called "A Christmas Story Christmas". Ralphie returns home for Christmas and meets all his old pals, including the guy who got his tongue stuck to the pole. I think he owns a bar.

 

Scut Farkus (yes, I thought it was "Scott", too) shows up and he is a policeman.  I don't know what happened to his crummy little toady, Grover Dill. Grover's probably in jail or moved to Georgia to work at Lockheed.

My son said it was a pretty good movie.  I taught him that "A Christmas Story" was a great Christmas movie like all great fathers should.  I don't know what he thinks about "Die Hard". 

This leads me to my final thought.  My son and his wife are having a baby.  Actually, my daughter in law is having the baby.  This mean my wife and I are entering a new phase of our lives: grandparents.

I don't know about you, but I always thought grandparents were supposed to be old and not young whippersnappers like me.  I remember my grandmother, she was about 180 when she stayed at our house.  I'm a spry 63 if I don't say so myself.

We are thrilled half to death, as we say down here.  I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I was somebody's father. Now, I have to deal with the fact that I am somebody's grandfather. 

It is pretty cool. I'm going to teach him how to tell jokes.  Such as: Why do cows wear bells?  Because their horns don't work.  My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play at that game. I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.

 

The kid can't help but be popular.

 

I'm also going to tell him that certain football teams are bad like the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets and the Florida Gators.  Then I'll him it is all in good fun and you have to take the wins with the losses.  Just please, Lord, don't let him become an Alabama fan.