The Big Birthday

 

 

 I was around in 1976 when America celebrated its Bicentennial.

It was a big deal. On the CBS Television Network, they would air a "Bicentennial Minute" in which some star like Telly Savalas would tell you something that happened in 1776.

I don't know if CBS does a "Semiquincentennial Minute."  The CBS affiliate in Atlanta is now Channel 69, which seems wrong to me. CBS is supposed to be on Channel 5.  It hasn't been the CBS affiliate since 1994.  Pardon me while I walk outside and shake my fist at the sky.

My point is, if CBS does have a "Semiquincentennial Minute," I haven't seen it.

If they did show a "Semiquincentennial Minute," it would be full of information about how much we suck. Because: history.

As I have said before, I majored in history in college. I did this because I am not very smart.

I know some of you would say, "Oh, I love history, and I would love to study it."  I can tell you that, no, you wouldn't.

At least back when I was in school, the learned professors of history were bound and determined to make history as dull as possible. They did a good job.

The problem is that there is a current view of American History which says America sucks mainly because of white people and white men in particular. 

So now we have a generation of young people who live in the greatest country in world history, with the greatest wealth, with the greatest freedom, with the best cell phones that can take the best pictures and make the best TikToks but wonder out loud what it says about a country that doesn't flock to the movies to see "Supergirl".

But think about it. As President Obama once sniffed, everybody thinks their country is the best. That's the type of insight you get from Harvard graduates.  

We have the best bird, the Bald Eagle.  I don't know how many of you have seen a real live Bald Eagle, but they could beat up every other country's bird. 

 We stretch from sea (the Atlantic) to shining sea (the Pacific).  They don't have that in Europe.  

We knew this couple where the husband was from Germany. His family moved to Boca Raton, Florida. One day, his German grandparents came to town. They had never been to America before. They were asked what they wanted to do.  They said, "Tomorrow we want to go to the beach, and then we think we want to drive out and see the Grand Canyon."

It can be done, but it takes some time.

Sure, our politicians are loco, some more than others. But on the whole, we've been led by good people even when they are Democrats. (Ha, ha. Just a joke.)

But you can at least see the reasoning behind the people who have been elected President. Even people like James Buchanan.   We haven't had a junta or a military coup.

We have more stuff than other countries.  We can buy almost anything we want.

We have endless opportunities for education if we take advantage of them. Especially from Southern New Hampshire University,which doesn't have a good football team. 

We also have Buc-ee's, hallowed be thy name.

We have freedom of speech and the press.

We have freedom of religion. You can belong to First Baptist or Bedside Baptist if you want. 

There are so many things that are great about America that you can shake a stick at.

How come this Semiquincentennial has been kind of meh?

I remember hearing about the Bicentennial back in 1970. The Semiquincentennial snuck up on us, to be frank. 

And, let's be honest, one side doesn't like the idea of the other side being in charge of it. And, honestly, maybe it isn't the best idea to have the Orange Man involved in selecting the entertainment.

But it should be celebrated. We are the best. As Walter Brennan (a great American) used to say, "No brag, just fact"