2023: A Swift Year

 

 

We stand at the precipice of another year and look back at 2023, a year best described as the Aaron Rodgers of years.   It goes out on the field, with great hoopla, and falls over after four plays with a knee injury which doctors describe as "really bad", especially for a four-hundred-year old quarterback.

It was the type of year that Time magazine, pronounced Taylor Swift the "Person Of The Year."  (Not to be outdone, Sports Illustrated deemed Deion Sanders, coach of the University of Colorado Buffaloes, as "Sportsman Of The Year" for winning four whole games.)

Prompting Swift's "Person Of The Year" selection was her concert tour, which sold a billion tickets despite her look as a skinny pale girl that trowels on a ton of red lipstick.

Time Magazine said, "Swift’s accomplishments as an artist—culturally, critically, and commercially—are so legion that to recount them seems almost beside the point so shut up, nobody cares about your Boomer music anymore. As a pop star, she sits in rarefied company, alongside Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Boxcar Willie; as a songwriter, she has been compared to Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney, Joni Mitchell, and Ray Stevens whose song  'The Streak' still cracks us up." *

President Biden finished the year with a 39 percent approval rating-up from 37 percent in November.  Things are looking up for President Joe who is a vigorous man that sometimes can even remember he lives.

This following is the truth.  When a nut attacked a private school in Nashville, the whole country waited for our kind, elderly, fatherly President to console a nation,which he did by explaining how much he likes ice cream.

Why is President Biden so unpopular?  I don't know, a seven-dollar bag of Doritos?

This is how bad it is for President Biden. His polling shows he is trailing former President Trump, a man who is such a threat to democracy that he must be kept off the ballot in Colorado.

President Trump is running against several others for the Republican party's nomination. His opponents are (I've included the Trumpster's reaction) Ron DeSantis (We don't like his shoes), Nikki Haley (A southern fried Hillary Clinton), Chris Christie (Boy, is he fat), and something called "Vivek."

Nobody has been able to get any traction on Trump because he is being indicted almost weekly, which has caused the opposite of the intended effect by making Trump more popular.  Trump is a parking ticket away from winning a landslide victory.

For the tenth year in a row, I didn't see won the movie that won The Academy Award for Best Picture. However, I did see the TV show "Suits," and it introduced me to something called "Mudding," in which a person lays in a tub of mud.

Bud Light made the worst marketing decision in years when it reached out to an "influencer" who is a male but whose pronoun is Audrey Hepburn.

The Kansas City Chiefs won their second Super Bowl behind the leadership of quarterback Taylor Swift, who is dating the "tight end" Travis Kelce, who has a brother who plays on the Philadelphia Eagles.  Things are complicated in the NFL.

The Atlanta Braves had the best team in baseball, but they didn't make it to the World Series because that's what Atlanta teams do, but hey they won The World Series two years ago.  Shohei Ohtani signed with the Dodgers for 14 Kabillion Gazllion Dollars.

Elon Musk, who bought Twitter in 2022, changed the name of Twitter to "X Used To Be Known As Twitter".

The worst thing that happened in 2023 was the Hamas attack on Israel, which killed 1200 Israelis in one day. The second worst thing is our best and the brightest young people who attend our best and brightest colleges became big Hamas fans. But don't worry. The administration of these schools will protect Jewish students.  Hahahahahahahaha. I kid, I kid. First senior leadership at all of the fine institutions must investigate the context in which the antisemitism took place.

The best thing that happened in 2023 was the arrival of Rowan Elliot Manis, my grandson. He is well on his way to becoming something I have never been: Tall.

 

* Okay, maybe I added some to this quote.