School Days

 

Up in the mornin' and out to school
The teacher is teachin' the golden rule
American history and practical math
You studyin' hard and hopin' to pass   ~ Chuck Berry

 

My memory is a little fuzzy, so stick with me.

When my son was young, school here in Cobb County, Georgia, started in the last week or so in August.

Then parents complained because the kids were in school for a week, and you had the Labor Day weekend, which parents used to go to either:  The Eiffel Tower in Paris, France, or Alvin's Magic Mountain in Panama City Beach. 

The school board listened and started school a week earlier the following year.  Parents complained.

The year after that, the school board listened to the complaints and started school another week earlier, on the second week of August.

Parents complained and complained because the second week of August in Georgia is very, very hot.  

No problem said the school board. Our schools are equipped with the finest of air conditioners.

For the past couple of years, school has started in Cobb County on August 1st. 

Pretty soon, the school year will start on June 1st because we have air conditioners. Which is an offense against humanity.

I'm from that age demographic that says school should start on the Tuesday after Labor Day. (The parents of this demographic were the ones that went to school every day, including Christmas. And they walked three miles to school through rain, sleet, snow, hail, hurricanes, and volcanic eruptions.  It was uphill, both ways.)

My demographic has The Bible on its side. 

The Bible says, "Verily, I say unto thee. Public schools must start on the Tuesday after Labor Day. Not the Wednesday or Thursday, thus saith The Lord."

 

Well, the explanations for the earlier school days range all the way from Shut-up to something about 180 days for school, and the kids forget so much during the What Used To Be Called Christmas Break But Is Now Called Winter Because Not Everybody Goes To A Baptist Church Break.

 

In fact, it seems like there are more breaks than I remember as a kid. Granted, it was a long time ago, but I don't remember a Fall break.  Wait, we had one. It was called Thanksgiving.

There's a mid-winter break, and then there is Spring Break. Do you remember Spring Break?  It is when all the Cobb County kids go to Panama City Beach to learn to binge drink. 

I remember my Spring Break. It was called "Mow The Yard, Alan."   My family didn't do breaks, and I wasn't popular enough to go with others to Florida.  On top of everything else, I looked like I was fourteen until I turned thirty-five, so I wouldn't have been any help scoring booze.

I admit I have bittersweet feelings about my public school education.  I had some great teachers, like my fourth-grade teacher who put on a sombrero and said, "Viva, Nixon."

I can't forget Mr. Collier from Wheeler, who was the only person to see me as a future leader when I had (still have) the leadership skills of a cocker spaniel.  It was still very nice of him and not his fault that I got blackballed from a service organization he recommended me for, not that I'm bitter.

I had the legendary Mr. Hines at Wheeler, who taught me the phrase "trousered apes," which I always remember when I see the band Florida-Georgia Line.

I had a bunch of good teachers, a bunch of so-so teachers, and a bunch of God-awful teachers.  I had a teacher tell the eleven-year-old me that I didn't have "what it takes" to play the recorder.  (My son always tells me to "let it go" when I tell him that story.)

When my son was coming along, I noticed his teachers were sort of like mine. Some excellent. Some good. Some mediocre. Some were absolute maroons.  I agree teachers should receive a good salary, but I would also say there are some teachers that are overpaid.

However, education has a lot of stuff it has to put up with, like making sure a fourth grader is called by the correct pronoun.  So I guess the earlier school starts the earlier it can finish makes sense.