This Week's Picks

Even though I have been writing about College Football this fall, don't think I've been ignoring The Presidential Election campaign between  Man-Pig and She-Bat from Hell, otherwise known as Trump versus Clinton.

Unless you have been hiding in a cave (lucky you!), you've probably heard the audio tape of Donald Trump bragging to Billy Bush how he (Trump) tried to score with a married woman and how she shot him down despite proven make-out techniques like furniture shopping and genital grabbing. Trump gets to do that because "he's a star".

Trump: "Here we are at Rooms To Go."
Woman: "Thanks. HEY! (Punches Trump in the face.)
Trump:  "You're such a loser. You could've had a sectional sofa if you played your cards right."

Trump confessed that he always carries around Tic-Tacs, just in case beautiful women just happen to appear, because the babes put his lips into kissing mode. Nothing kills a brand more than moving in for some smoochie-woochies and having coffee breath.

Donald Trump's Favorite

The tape surprised people because it caught Trump using graphic language that he generally reserves for describing fellow Republicans.  Some in the party have called for Trump to step aside. The chance of this ever happening is slim to none and Slim just left town.

I will say, in all seriousness, it is very disappointing to have two candidates like Trump and Clinton. It is the worst of all possible worlds. Which is why College Football is such a great escape from these two clowns.


This Week's Picks!



Non-Mississippi State Bulldogs vs The Commode Doors:  Due to Hurricane Matthew, UGA had to play South Carolina on Sunday, which, as most sports commentators point out, makes for a short week. Then the commentators realized UGA was playing Vanderbilt, so it's not really that big of a deal.. Vandy is having their typical Vandy year (getting a celebration penalty called after they make a first down). UGA needs to win this game by 4000 to 0 but will probably win by a safety. In any event, UGA wins!

Buzzed vs Bennie's Eagles: Right on schedule, Georgia Tech has lost three straight games. Fortunately for them,  Georgia Southern is showing up just in time. They are not playing as well in the "Let's Get Drunk" (Sun Belt) Conference. They lost last week to Arkansas State, which brought great shame and dishonor to Statesboro which is saying something. (The Great Southeast Georgia country band, "Shame and Dishonor" is playing at Gnat's Landing this Saturday night. Two drink minimum.) I would love to see Southern win so I could throw it back in the face of my Tech friends who think they are better than me just because they can add and subtract. And multiply. And divide.  Tech wins!

Rolling Tide vs Rocky Topped:  This is the second game of the Tennessee nightmare. Last week, the Vols finally lost a close game to Texas A&M. I can assure you this will not happen this week. Oh, Tennessee will lose,  but it will not be close. Bama wins!

Ahia State vs Weskahnsin: I have been to Ohio twice in my life. The first time was to Dayton, Ohio. It was the week before Father's Day and there was a sale on sweaters at the Dayton Mall. Honest. The second time I went to Youngstown (town motto: "Yes, We Are America's Armpit"). My basic conclusion about Ohio is that it is Mississippi with better PR and more snow. I've never been to Wisconsin, although I really need to put Wisconsin Dells on my bucket list. I think I dislike The Ohio State University in Ohio almost as much as Notre Dame. However, we here at This Week's Picks take pride in being open minded and objective which means we'll never get a job in journalism.  Ohio State wins!

My Hooters vs Falwell's Flames:  I'm not bragging, but Kennesaw State is 4-1. Last year, we went up to Liberty and got Sunday Schooled, but this year, I'm thinking we'll be okay. Owls win!