This Week's Picks

In case you didn't hear about it, there was a Presidential Debate between the Democratic nominee Former First Lady Senator Secretary Hillary Clinton and the Republican nominee Big Orange Donald J. Trump.

The following is an actual transcript of the debate.

Clinton:  We need to invest in the middle class despite the fact that most of them, particularly in the icky part of the country that I had to live in due to the  hillbilly I married, are deplorable.

Trump:  Rosie O'Donnell

Clinton: I am wearing a coughing prevention machine underneath this Devil red pantsuit.

Trump: Sniff

Clinton:  As part of my preparation for the debate, I memorized the entire Phenix City, Alabama phone book for no particular reason.

Trump:  I was going to mention  that there is a person who may or may not be married to someone who may or may not be my opponent and that person had physical carnal relations with members of the opposite sex to whom they were not married. Everybody says I am too much of a gentleman to bring this up in front of this person's 36-year-old daughter or whatever. Mail my Nobel Prize to Donald J. Trump, Trump Plaza. New York, New York.

This Week's Picks!


Pounded Pups vs Hillbillies:  Last week, Georgia got totally killed 5 billion to 20 (or something like that) against Ole Miss. Tennessee had their biggest win in decades against Florida. This Week's Picks Alabama correspondent, Hop Daddy, offered his prediction on the game. "Tennessee will be flat. Dawgs will be rabid....at home. They will rebound.  I think".  He's got a point. Tennessee plays Texas A&M and Bama after the Dawgs and they may be looking past UGA. Gee, I'd like to see Georgia win. They won't. Tennessee wins

Bumbled Bees vs U:  Well, we found out last week what kind of team Tech was: not a very good one.  Coach Cutie Pie (Mark Richt) is now at Miami and he brings a pretty good working knowledge on how to defend against "The Triple Freaking Option". It doesn't add up to a win for Tech. A loss will divide the fan base and multiply the calls for the firing of Coach Grumpy McGrumperson (Paul Johnson). I'm sure there are other math analogies I could use. Miami wins.

Just Like Old Times

Trees vs Wurshington:  Stanford is a smart kids school that has a good football team. Washington is the large university  in a state known for caffeine and marijuana.  Dude, Washington has been playing well. But man, Stanford is ranked seventh, man. But, dude, Washington is ranked tenth. Hey man, Stanford has Christian McCaffrey who is sort of the Miles Davis of college football because he leaves his opponents kind of blue.  Dude, Stanford wins.

Lousyville vs Clem's Son:  The team that scares almost everyone in college football (except Nick Satan Saban) is Louisville. They treated Florida State like Ole Miss treated Georgia.  The problem with Louisville is they are coached by Bobby Petrino, who has probably spent half the week in a secret Baton Rouge bungalow interviewing for the LSU job. Clemson looked like their old selves against Georgia Tech.  It would mean a lot to Clemson if they could knock off Louisville. Too bad they won't.  Louisville wins.

Bennie's Eagles vs Arky State:  Did you know there was another university in Arkansas besides The University of Arkansas?  I didn't. Arkansas State is in Jonesboro, Arkansas, which is the largest city in Northeast Arkansas. Really. I didn't believe it myself but it was right there in Wikipedia, so you know it is accurate. The number one restaurant in town is Skinny J's which has a "purple specialty drink (that) is absolutely delicious".  So, if you are ever in Jonesboro, Arkansas and want a purple specialty drink, you know where to go. What other humor blog does that for you?  Georgia Southern wins.

My Beloved Owls vs Furman:  Lost in the hoopla of the Tennessee-Florida game was the Kennesaw State-Duquesne game in which the Mighty Hooters, in only its second year of existence, defeated a team that went to the FCS playoffs last year. Plus, a video of an Owl player passing out due to fright when the team flight to Pittsburgh hit  air turbulence went viral. What a weekend! Owls win.
http://campussports.net/2016/09/26/video-kennesaw-state-football-player-passes-out-on-first-flight-of-his-life/