A High School Epiphany

 

 "Seek, and ye shall find" ~ Matthew 7:7

 

I might as well admit that I am entering the stage of life called "Old."  You may have heard about it.

When you get to this age, you start reviewing your life and think back to when you were "young,"  and the future was so bright you had to wear shades as long as your parents let you borrow the car.

Some things you think about usually involve you doing something stupid, which didn't include doing homework. However, there were events that happened that you still believe wasn't your fault. 

All of this made me think of an incident in my life that wasn't my fault (honest!) and I have sought to understand why this event happened.

As you know, I went to Wheeler High School ("Where The Grandparents Of Tomorrow Are Attending The High School  of Today") and was a student in the "Advanced Grammar" class taught by the old Grammar Hammer himself, Roger Hines.

As a bit of background: Mr. Hines was considered one of the premier teachers at Wheeler, and (generally) only the best and the brightest took his courses.  How I got into this class is a mystery of life since I was nowhere near the brightest and I certainly could have been better.

One day, Mr. Hines was going on and on about how gerunds were our friends or something when something happened.

The bell rang.

We, the students, got up and left the class filled with the knowledge that gerunds were verbs acting as nouns, and with this knowledge, we could change the world or even go out on a date.

The next day in class, Mr. Hines was clearly upset.  

Now, Mr. Hines ran a pretty tight ship, but he wasn't one of those yelling teachers, which were common back then.  

He calmly but very firmly told us,  "I don't know who told you that you were dismissed from class when the bell rang.  The bell does not dismiss you.  I dismiss you. I am very disappointed in you."

I remember thinking:  Cobb County Public Schools told us. The school bell was used to start class and to end class.  I thought it was a pretty good system.

Plus, Wheeler was an oddly shaped school with added buildings like patchwork.  There were basically two ways to get from where Mr. Hines's class in what was called "The Old Building" to "The New Building," where my next-period class was held. 

One was through a small hall that connected the Old and New Buildings. This was where the mass of Wheeler humanity would cram into trying to get to their class before the bell rang. Or you could run through the Smokehole (in the 70s, they let you smoke at school as long as it was outside and on concrete.)

Both could take a while, and you could be late.  If the bell rang for the start of the next class, the next-period teacher wouldn't care that their colleague would not dismiss a class just because something silly like a bell rang and you would have to go to the principal's office to get a permission slip to get admitted to the next class, plus you had to be issued a hall pass because you couldn't just walk up and down the hall like you owned the place.

I have wondered about this event a lot over the years.  Mr. Hines was such an excellent teacher and swell guy that the whole idea that I was part of a group of students, and these were the cream of the crop at Wheeler, except for one, um, notable exception, would disappoint him so much, truly puzzled me.

Then one day, I had an epiphany.

My wife also went to Wheeler and was in The Riff-Raff Class of '79. That was the class in which Coach Diffley gave an obscene arm signal to at a pep rally. (Historians disagree on the actual act Coach Diffley did. Some say he "flipped off"  The Class of '79 while others claim he did the "Bras d'honneur" which is involves both arms and has lots of moving parts. While I am confident that Coach Diffley did the "Bras d'honneur," I'm pretty sure he didn't call it that.)

She said she was in a class once where the teacher said, "the bell does not dismiss you."

Under intense questioning from me (right after: "Did you get Chick-fil-A sauce?") my wife said the teacher who said this was another Wheeler English teacher, and it was in a class taught in the same year and quarter as my Advanced Grammar class.

I came to the conclusion there must have been an English department meeting where the consensus was that these East Cobb brats are so entitled that they get up and walk out of class when the bell rings like hoodlums.

I don't know if that happened, but it makes sense. It gives me a sense of closure and I'm a peace with that.

Like It Or Lump It: "Citadel"

 

Welcome once again "Like It Or Lump It," in which we recap a new series on one of the streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, Peacock, Hulu, Paramount Plus, Paramount Minus, Apple, Disney +, Pluto, Uranus, Philo, Sling, Slang, Slung, Tubi, Doobie, Doo, et al.

Today we look at "Citadel" starring Priyanka Chopra Jonas as Special Agent Bosoms and Richard Madden as Special Agent Butch Deadlift. I never heard of them either, but they are the stars here.

"Citadel" is a secret international organization that isn’t loyal to any nation—rather, it exists in the shadows to protect all of humanity from Republicans.  Citadel's office is in a super secret location on the side of a mountain in Utah because nobody would ever think to look in Utah. 

Their boss is Bald Man, who is smart because he has no hair. But listen buddy; grass doesn't grow on a busy street.

The show starts on a train passing through the Italian Alps, where Agent Bosoms and Deadlift are assigned to track down a Russian carrying some uranium that would hurt all of humankind.

One thing leads to another, and soon a massive gun battle and brawl take place on the train.  Sort of like an all-night IHOP at 2:00 in the morning. 

Well, you know how Russians are.  The Russian detonates a bomb. Somehow both Agent Bosoms and Deadlift survive the explosion.

There is a time jump, eight years into the future, and Agent Deadlift lives on a farm in rural Oregon, although it is unclear what he does for a living.   He is married to Mrs. Deadlift and they have a daughter, Missy Deadlift.

He has no memory of his Citadel days or Agent Bosoms. He's a happy guy with a happy family and happy he doesn't live in Portland.

Bald Man kidnaps Agent Deadlift to retrieve a case containing nuclear codes before it falls into Manticore’s hands.

Manticore is the E-VIL rival to  Citadel. Manticore is an infamous syndicate whose members manipulate world events to accrue more wealth and power among themselves. Then they sit around the table and laugh about how much wealth and power they have.

The head of Manticore is a British woman who says terrible cuss words in a British accent.  Hey, it is a pressure-filled job, and a gal has to blow off some steam.

Meanwhile, Agent Bosoms works in an upscale restaurant in Spain. Again, it is not really clear what she does in the restaurant except stand around and look hot. If you can get paid for it, more power to you.

Bald Man instructs Deadlift to find Agent Bosoms so they can foil the dastardly schemes of Manticore and their potty-mouthed British Woman boss.

In the following adventures, we learn that Bosoms and Deadlift were once "lovahs," and Bosoms gave birth to a baby girl.  Deadlift was so infatuated that he gave Bosoms an engagement ring which she turned down. 

There are several million action scenes that are really well done if you don't understand what a bullet can do to the human body. 

There are lots of punches. Lots of jumping out of planes. Lots of standing on submarines in the middle of the ocean.

Agent Bosoms is easy on the eyes but she can punch like a man. Agent Deadlift is handsome, but it doesn't seem like his Happy Meal has many French fries.  Bald Man Boss is shot with a high-powered rifle but somehow survives, which you gives him some serious bald man cred.

There are some surprises. Mrs. Deadlift turns out to have been a former Citadel agent. Manticore's boss has a connection to Deadlift that I cannot reveal without violating the 2017 No Spoilers And Debt Limit Extension Act.

"Citadel" is a good action series that doesn't make much sense. The action scenes are well choreographed. The dialogue is stupid, and there are the obligatory swear words.  

If I had to choose, I say....Like It, but I'm easy to please.

 

Down South In New Orleans

 

 The wife and I took a quick trip to New Orleans for several reasons.

One was I hadn't been to "Nawlins" (checking the calendar) in forty-two years.  Ronald Reagan was in his first term. I flew down to New Orleans on Eastern Air Lines. Unfortunately, Eastern Air Lines went out of business in 1991.

Another is I promised my wife I would one day take her to New Orleans to go to The Cafe du Monde. The Cafe du Monde is a little place where they serve fried dough topped (and I mean TOPPED) with powdered sugar. 

The fried dough is called a beignet (pronounced "Ben YAY"), and it is served with chickory coffee which is strong, but it supposedly has health benefits like growing hair on your chest.

Here is a quick review of my trip.

TSA:  The TSA recommends you arrive at the airport at least two hours before your flight. Unless, of course, you live in Atlanta. If you live in Atlanta, you should arrive at the airport two weeks before your flight.

Do You Still Have To Take Off Your Belt?  Yes. 

How About Your Shoes?  Yes.

Bra?  Depends if you are carrying a concealed weapon.

Airlines:  We took Delta, which as an Atlanta area resident, we are obligated to fly, just like we are compelled to drink Coke products because we feel, in our hearts, that the Lord is leading us to do this.

We sat in Delta Comfort. Delta Comfort is better than the regular seats, but not as good as First Class. They got mixed drinks for the flight in First Class. Since New Orleans is not over 500 miles from Atlanta, Delta now has a "rule" they don't serve anything besides coffee, hot tea, and water to non-First Class passengers. Speaking objectively, understanding the business pressures that face a major airline like Delta, I can honestly say this totally sucks.

 

Hotel:   We stayed at The Four Points by Sheraton owned by Marriott Hotel. It is on the corner of Bourbon Street and Toulouse Street. As the song says, "I want to get too loose on Toulouse Street".  You can't get more French Quarter than this hotel. It is a very nice hotel with a good breakfast.

The hotel has good security, so you don't have to worry about the riff-raff coming in and informing you, for money, that they without a shadow of a doubt, can tell you where you got them shoes.

Our room was on the courtyard side of the hotel, which means you could almost, maybe, if you tried with the hotel-supplied ear plugs, block out the Bourbon Street partiers. But hey, you knew what you getting into when you booked the room.

Public Nekkidness: As everyone knows, New Orleans has a tradition where women obtain beads by lifting up their shirts, exposing their bosoms, and going "Woooooooooo." However, it is not known if they get beads without the "Woo".

We did not see any of this behavior, per se. Instead, we saw a young lady bend over to pick up a bead and, in my wife's words, "flopped out."

We also saw a man in his 60s to 70s, wearing only thong underwear, shaking what he thought was his money maker. He made no money and was terrible for the Bourbon Street bars and restaurants business. They soon ran him off because nobody wants to see that.

But, all in all, I'm happy to report that a vast majority of people kept their clothes on

Other Events: We saw a couple of impromptu parades with guys on stilts, which was very brave because Bourbon Street is pothole city. Somebody in one of the parades threw me a bead, and I gave it to my wife even though neither of us lifted up our shirts and went "woooooo."

That's our story, and I'm sticking to it.

There were a lot of young children banging on plastic Home Depot buckets for money. That struck me as sad.

There was a young African-American man standing on top of a pick-up truck singing Tim McGraw songs better than Tim McGraw.  I really hope he becomes famous.

 

Jackson Square:  For me, Jackson Square is my favorite part of New Orleans.  It is well kept and lots of shade, which is important because New Orleans can get swampy.  The statue of Andrew Jackson, who is in the top five of crazy Presidents, is in front of The St. Louis Cathedral is just a neat landmark.

Cafe du Monde:  Across from Jackson Square. My wife and I ate fried dough in the world's most corrupt city.  It was marvelous. Simply marvelous.

World War II Museum:  Back in the late 90s, a University of New Orleans history professor wrote what in the history biz are called "popular histories" (ie: history books that make money).  His name was Stephen Ambrose and he got the World War II Museum built in New Orleans. If you knew anybody that served in World War II, you need to see this museum. It is a gem.

Paul Simon called New Orleans "the city of my dreams". I don't know about that, but it is a good place to visit with good food. Just keep your shirt pulled down, missy.

The Golden Bachelor

 

This was the first sentence of a story in Variety.

"After years and years of teasing it would happen, ABC has finally given the green light to its long-awaited senior citizen season of 'The Bachelor'."

I like the use of the word "finally."  We've been waiting for so long, and the Lord heard our prayers, and no longer will we wander in the wilderness because the senior citizen version of "The Bachelor" is coming on.

In case you are one of the lucky few that has never watched "The Bachelor," it is a game show in which hot young women compete to win the affection of a hot young man.

The young man gives out roses, and at the end, he proposes marriage to one of the young ladies, even though they usually have nothing in common except mutual hots for each other, which is essential. Still, there's much more to marriage than passion.

Marriage is also about figuring out where to go on "date night", even though you got married so you wouldn't have to go out on dates again.

Then they came out with "The Bachelorette," in which (watch carefully)  a young lady would give out roses to her young suitors. Generally, they were hunky males in their late 20s that were brain surgeons, superheroes, or Ivy League-educated attorneys that volunteered at the weekend soup kitchen.

There was always one guy with a really good sense of humor, which women claim to like. I can tell you from personal experience that if you look like a gargoyle, you won't find many women that like your knock-knock jokes.

One part of "The Bachelorette" that I liked was the behind-the-scenes where the dudes all bad mouth each other by saying they're not here for the "right reasons." True love is the right reason, but guys get so competitive that one forgets about all that mushy stuff.
 
We here at Manis Manor use to watch the various "Bachelor" shows mainly to make fun of the people involved.  But after a while, we forgot about "The Bachelor" because it was the same old thing. 

"The Golden Bachelor" is going to be a bit different.

According to Variety, "ABC describes the new series as showcasing a “whole new kind of love story — one for the golden years.” The network’s synopsis says a 'hopeless romantic is given a second chance at love in the search for a partner with whom to share the sunset years of life. The women arriving at the mansion have a lifetime of experience, living through love, loss and laughter, hoping for a spark that ignites a future full of endless possibilities. In the end, will our Golden man turn the page to start a new chapter with the woman of his dreams?"

There's no word how old "Golden" is on the show show.  Will he be in his 60s? 70s? 80s?   If I know guys (and since I've been one all of my life), the Golden Bachelor may have snow on the roof, but he's got a fire in the living room, which means Grandpa wants someone much younger than himself. 

I'm sorry. I just report the news.

Here's a news flash:  his "second chance at love" translates into his brain as "next chance for nookie."

Variety also reports, "One of the big changes with an older lead would be the hometown dates, which could feature visits home to children instead of parents."  

Dad brings home Mom's replacement. Again, there's a warm and fuzzy family moment.

If I know millennial children as I do, they will be imagining Dad and his TV Gal Pal doing the South Carolina Lovey-Dovey as they look at her face trying to figure out how much plastic surgery she's had.

Love may be more comfortable the second time around, but I doubt it.

 

The Kennedy Reboot

 

 It was big news. Sort of.  President Grandpa has another opponent for the Democratic Party's Presidential nomination besides that space cadet lady.

The candidate has a pretty big name, especially in Democratic Party circles:  Kennedy.

That's right, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr has thrown his hat into the ring, and even though he has never held a political office, he has a respectable 14% of Democratic party voters saying he's their man.  Although, honestly, it is probably 14% of people that recognize his name.

In today's cynical climate, you would not believe the adoration the Kennedy name evoked.  In the 60s and 70s, they were the Royal Family of The USA.

John Kennedy became President after Dwight Eisenhower. Although Eisenhower saved Western Civilization, he was old and bald.  Kennedy was young with hair.

This was a big deal in the early '60s. Kennedy didn't wear a hat because he had hair a hat would mess up. The hat industry hasn't been the same since. That's Presidential power.

Oh sure, there were tensions with Russia. We later learned he liked to fool around on Jackie. He didn't write the book he won the Pulitzer Prize for. But all in all, everybody liked good old JFK.

Then came Dallas.

His assassination by Lee Harvey Oswald/The CIA/Lyndon Johnson/The FBI/Ted Cruz's Dad/500 others capitulated Kennedy into America Superstar unseen since Lincoln was assassinated

People wrote songs about him.

"Anybody here....seen my old friend John?
  Can you tell me where he's gone?
  He freed a lot of people
  but it seems the good they die young."

John Kennedy had a brother, Robert F. Kennedy, Sr, ("Bobby") who was Kennedy's most trusted advisor and Attorney General.

Lyndon Johnson became President upon the death of President Kennedy. This was a problem because Johnson was, historically speaking, a very homely man.  He had big ears and a big nose. He didn't have a lot of hair. What hair he had, he slicked back with a Vitalis sixty-second workout   Robert Kennedy hated him.

There was a war going on back then. It was called The Vietnam War. You may have heard about it. It was in all the papers.

Johnson decided not to run for re-election in 1968 so Bobby Kennedy jumped in the race.  It looked like he was going to win the Democratic party's nomination for President. But, and stop me if you heard it, Bobby was shot and killed, too.

Next in line for the Kennedys was the youngest brother, Edward ("Teddy") Kennedy.  However, Teddy drove a car off a bridge into a tidal pond. Teddy got out of the car and swam to safety. Unfortunately, a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne was trapped in the car and drowned. Teddy didn't inform the police until about 8 hours later because he forgot.

That happened in 1969 and Teddy did not run for President until 1980, when he ran against President Jimmy Carter.  

The Kennedy Magic was pretty much spent by then and Teddy could not beat President Jimmy even though you had high inflation, unemployment, and 44 hostages in Iran.

Here we are, forty years later, and Robert Kennedy, Jr. has decided to run against President Pea-paw for the Democratic nomination.

Kennedy is for, per his website, "Honest Government".*  

He says, "A democratic government is supposed to be of, by, and for the people. But government institutions have betrayed our trust. The intelligence agencies spy on our own people. Government and tech platforms conspire to surveil and censor the public. Regulatory agencies have been captured by those they are supposed to regulate: Wall Street controls the SEC. Polluters and extractive industries dominate the EPA and BLM. Pharma controls the CDC, NIH, and FDA. Big Ag controls the USDA. Big Tech has captured the FTC. No wonder trust in government is at all-time lows. It’s time to earn it back."

He wants to "Heal The Divide." His website states, "Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has clear positions on most of today’s divisive trigger issues like abortion, guns, and immigration, but he knows that both sides have legitimate concerns and legitimate moral positions."    

Sounds good, right?

Also, and this is totally irrelevant, Kennedy is married to Cheryl Hines who plays Larry David's ex-wife in "Curb Your Enthusiasm".  In the eyes of this political commentator, she's pretty cute.

Well, he's got a couple of problems.

One, while he is younger than Biden, he's no spring chicken. He's sixty-nine years old.  The younger Gen Z-ish Democrats won't trade-in one Boomer for another.

Two, he anti-vax.

During the bad old days of Covid, we had daily arguments about the Covid vaccine. It was produced rather rapidly, and when it was introduced, Trump was still President, so you had Democrats saying they were scared of taking a "jab".   

Then Biden became President, and you had Democrats loudly proclaiming they were for the vaccine, science, and supported the President's effort to make taking the vaccine a condition of your employment, even if you didn't work in health care and it made you grow another ear.

But Kennedy has been consistent. He doesn't like any vaccines, including the ones babies get, because he says it causes autism. 

Still, this gives him a cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs image and this doesn't fit within the current framework of the Democratic Party primary voters half of which confuse Bobby Kennedy with Bobby Brady.

While there are a lot of people who would like a Camelot reboot, this seems like a reboot Hollywood trots which has Pete Davidson playing Indiana Jones.  It seems like a good idea at the time, but that time has gone.

 

 

*Just once I would love to see a politician claim to be in favor of "Dishonest Government".  "More Money For Me" could be his campaign slogan.

Like It Or Lump It: "The Diplomat"

 

Welcome to the latest feature of this blog, "Like It Or Lump It," in which we recap a new series on one of the streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, Peacock, Hulu, Paramount Plus, Paramount Multiply, Apple, Disney +, Disney  -, Kinda of Peacock, Amazon Too Cheap To Spring for Prime, etc.

Today we recap: "The Diplomat."

"The Diplomat" stars Keri Russell as Ambassador Felicity, a formidable, no-nonsense Diplomat who solves complex world problems by cussing at them. This is known in the US Foreign Policy community as "Dirty Hair Diplomacy" because it looks like Ambassador Felicity hasn't seen a tube of Prell shampoo in years.

Ambassador Felicity is married to The Man Not In The High Castle, a loose cannon by the powers that be in Washington. He has a lot in common with Ambassador Felicity in the sense they both hate each other. He is an Ambassador too but it looks like he washes his hair.

Ambassador Felicity wants to be sent to the Middle East so she can cuss at some people there, but President Lenny has bigger fish for her to fry.

President Lenny, who reminds you of a particular current President that eats a lot of ice cream, wants Ambassador Felicity to be the Ambassador to Great Britain.

However, President Lenny has instructed his chief of staff to tell the second in command at the embassy, The Big Forehead Man, to evaluate Ambassador Felicity to become Vice President.

This is a prominent subplot in the series because everyone except Ambassador Felicity knows that she is being "vetted" to become the new Vice President, even though she has dirty hair, can't button her blouse, and cusses like a sailor. Just what the American people want in a leader.

However, the big, super-duper plot in the series is finding out which country attacked the British destroyer, The HMS Marmalade, killing 41 British personnel.

At first, it seems like Iran did it, because, hey, let's face it, Iran does things like this. Then, however, Ambassador Felicity points out that Colin Powell said something wrong in 2002, and we spent the past twenty years in Iraq.  So, of course, Iran didn't do it.

Ambassador Felicity figures out who did the attack but I can't tell you because I don't want to spoil it for you. So I will say this:  Lots of things go "BOOM".

"The Diplomat" doesn't answer some critical questions. Such as: "Why do the Brits say "Atall" instead of "At All". I mean, my gosh, it doesn't make any sense. That and calling the trunk of a car "the boot". And don't get me on their calling cookies "biscuits"—no wonder they're no longer an empire.

Basic Information About "The Diplomat."

The Acting:  It is okay. You feel sorry for The Big Forehead Man.

Language: Lots and lots and lots of F-bombs.

Example: Maid: "Would putting F-word milk in your F-word tea, offend you sir?

                 British Man: "Not F-word atall".

Smoking:  This is a big deal because Netflix always warns you if you will see somebody in a show smoking. No worries, chap. Nobody except Not The Man In The High Castle and the Bald Headed British Foreign Minister's Sister . They smoke a joint and then go skinny dipping in a pond because that's what relatives of leaders do in Great Britain during a crisis.

 

 

Sex:  What Ambassador Felicity's husband did with the Foreign Minister's sister was not sex because the husband's manhood doesn't work unless he is with Ambassador Felicity. So it is not adultery if you lost your Mojo and are swimming around naked with another woman. Former President Bill Clinton wrote this scene.

Other General Nekkidness:  You see Ambassador Felicity's hiney. It is not a stunt butt.

 

The Verdict:  This is a show for people vaguely aware there is something called "government" and like hearing people cuss.  They will Like It.

 

Are You Sure Don Would Do It This Way?

 

 One of my favorite TV shows of this century is "Mad Men".

"Mad Men" was about a Madison Avenue advertising agency and its creative director, Don Draper.  Don Draper was a genius because he could come up with a catchphrase ("It's toasted") out of thin air and bed every woman in the Tri-State area because he was, as the girls at Wheeler High School would have said in the mid-'70s, a "hunk."

Don worked at Sterling-Cooper. Roger Sterling was the son of one of the founders, whose primary job was drinking and smoking. Bert Cooper was the original living partner, and his job was to walk around in his socks and quote Ayn Rand.

A subplot during the show was the CEO of McCann-Erickson (an actual ad agency) was always trying to hire Don because Don was such a great, brilliant talent that was a hunk. Finally, during the final season of "Mad Men," McCann-Erickson managed to corral Don but they had to buy Sterling-Cooper to do it. (Actually, they had to buy the agency Sterling-Cooper morphed into: Sterling, Cooper, Nixon, and Agnew.)

One day, Miller Beer came in to give McCann-Erickson a look at their new product: Diet Beer. Don got up and walked out of the meeting. Really. He hopped in his car and drove all the way to California, where he came up with the prize-winning Coca-Cola ad: "It is time to make the donuts."  "I Like To Teach The World To Sing."

(If you were around at that time, you remember the commercial. It showed a bunch of diverse people in the sense that they were all young.  The idea is that if they could teach the world to sing, the world might buy a Coke.) 

Here's what Don missed when he left the meeting: he missed Miller Beer's profile of their potential customer.  The customer was a fat Mid-Western man who drinks beer but doesn't want to gain weight. Beer has been known to do that.

There was nothing about Miller's Diet Beer lifting the Cro-Magnum Man out of his primordial soup and dragging him into the 20th century.

That beer, Miller Lite, had classic  commercials  in the '70s and '80s using the tagline: "Taste Great, Less Filling." Miller made a bundle off their Diet Beer, so much so that the King of Beers, Budweiser, devised their Diet Beer: Bud Light.

Maybe you have heard of it.

Bud Light's sales have been flat, which is never a good term to use regarding beer.  So Anheuser Busch did what major corporations do on occasion-hand the problem off to a graduate of a Ho-Dee-Do Ivy League School, which was their first mistake.

Alissa Heinerscheid, Bud Light's Vice President of marketing, focused like a laser beam on the brand's problem: their existing customers.

Ms. Heinerscheid said, "I’m a businesswoman, I had a really clear job to do when I took over Bud Light, and it was ‘This brand is in decline, it’s been in a decline for a really long time, and if we do not attract young drinkers to come and drink this brand there will be no future for Bud Light."

So far, so good.  The head of marketing is supposed to grow the brand. 

Then, like many intelligent people, she didn't know when to shut up. Instead, she said she had a "super clear" mandate "to evolve and elevate this incredibly iconic brand." She aimed to do this by "inclusivity, it means shifting the tone, it means having a campaign that’s truly inclusive, and feels lighter and brighter and different, and appeals to women and to men."

She finished with this: "We had this hangover, I mean Bud Light had been kind of a brand of fratty, kind of out of touch humor, and it was really important that we had another approach."

Her big idea: hire a Tik-Tok (it's all the rage) influencer named Dylan Mulvaney, who may/may not be a man who identifies as a woman. I can't tell if he's serious or if this is some sort of performance art.

They put Mulvaney's face on Bud Light cans. That was Heinerscheid's big idea to elevate the iconic brand.  Exactly how this was going to happen is anybody's guess.

The only thing that did happen was to generate publicity for Bud Light, but not in a good way.  It looked like just another corporation caving into the woke crowd that gets everything it wants without any type of discussion.  First, they came after our children, and now they want our beer. 

Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth issued a statement that was the word salad we all expect from a modern-day CEO.

He said, "As CEO of Anheuser-Busch, I am focused on building and protecting our remarkable history and heritage. I care deeply about this country, this company, our brands and our partners."

Mr. Whitworth continues: "I am responsible for ensuring every consumer feels proud of the beer we brew. Moving forward, I will continue to work tirelessly to bring great beers to consumers across our nation."

Whitworth said the company and the Clydesdales never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people.

In other words: Blah, blah, blah. Beer. 'Merica. Beer.

Don Draper encountered some moments when he had helped a product like Heinz Baked Beans draw in a younger crowd.  Heinz's idea?  Get The Rolling Stones to sing "Time Is  On My Side," except use the words "Heinz" for "time".

 It is an age-old dilemma: getting young people interested in something that old people do.  It happens in politics, music, and even religion.

The way NOT TO DO IT is the way Bud Light did it. I don't think Draper would have done it this way.