Down South In New Orleans

 

 The wife and I took a quick trip to New Orleans for several reasons.

One was I hadn't been to "Nawlins" (checking the calendar) in forty-two years.  Ronald Reagan was in his first term. I flew down to New Orleans on Eastern Air Lines. Unfortunately, Eastern Air Lines went out of business in 1991.

Another is I promised my wife I would one day take her to New Orleans to go to The Cafe du Monde. The Cafe du Monde is a little place where they serve fried dough topped (and I mean TOPPED) with powdered sugar. 

The fried dough is called a beignet (pronounced "Ben YAY"), and it is served with chickory coffee which is strong, but it supposedly has health benefits like growing hair on your chest.

Here is a quick review of my trip.

TSA:  The TSA recommends you arrive at the airport at least two hours before your flight. Unless, of course, you live in Atlanta. If you live in Atlanta, you should arrive at the airport two weeks before your flight.

Do You Still Have To Take Off Your Belt?  Yes. 

How About Your Shows?  Yes.

Bra?  Depends if you are carrying a concealed weapon.

Airlines:  We took Delta, which as an Atlanta area resident, we are obligated to fly, just like we are compelled to drink Coke products because we feel, in our hearts, that the Lord is leading us to do this.

We sat in Delta Comfort. Delta Comfort is better than the regular seats, but not as good as First Class. They got mixed drinks for the flight in First Class. Since New Orleans is not over 500 miles from Atlanta, Delta now has a "rule" they don't serve anything besides coffee, hot tea, and water to non-First Class passengers. Speaking objectively, understanding the business pressures that face a major airline like Delta, I can honestly say this totally sucks.

 

Hotel:   We stayed at The Four Points by Sheraton owned by Marriott Hotel. It is on the corner of Bourbon Street and Toulouse Street. As the song says, "I want to get too loose on Toulouse Street".  You can't get more French Quarter than this hotel. It is a very nice hotel with a good breakfast.

The hotel has good security, so you don't have to worry about the riff-raff coming in and informing you, for money, that they without a shadow of a doubt, can tell you where you got them shoes.

Our room was on the courtyard side of the hotel, which means you could almost, maybe, if you tried with the hotel-supplied ear plugs, block out the Bourbon Street partiers. But hey, you knew what you getting into when you booked the room.

Public Nekkidness: As everyone knows, New Orleans has a tradition where women obtain beads by lifting up their shirts, exposing their bosoms, and going "Woooooooooo." However, it is not known if they get beads without the "Woo".

We did not see any of this behavior, per se. Instead, we saw a young lady bend over to pick up a bead and, in my wife's words, "flopped out."

We also saw a man in his 60s to 70s, wearing only thong underwear, shaking what he thought was his money maker. He made no money and was terrible for the Bourbon Street bars and restaurants business. They soon ran him off because nobody wants to see that.

But, all in all, I'm happy to report that a vast majority of people kept their clothes on

Other Events: We saw a couple of impromptu parades with guys on stilts, which was very brave because Bourbon Street is pothole city. Somebody in one of the parades threw me a bead, and I gave it to my wife even though neither of us lifted up our shirts and went "woooooo."

That's our story, and I'm sticking to it.

There were a lot of young children banging on plastic Home Depot buckets for money. That struck me as sad.

There was a young African-American man standing on top of a pick-up truck singing Tim McGraw songs better than Tim McGraw.  I really hope he becomes famous.

 

Jackson Square:  For me, Jackson Square is my favorite part of New Orleans.  It is well kept and lots of shade, which is important because New Orleans can get swampy.  The statue of Andrew Jackson, who is in the top five of crazy Presidents, is in front of The St. Louis Cathedral is just a neat landmark.

Cafe du Monde:  Across from Jackson Square. My wife and I ate fried dough in the world's most corrupt city.  It was marvelous. Simply marvelous.

World War II Museum:  Back in the late 90s, a University of New Orleans history professor wrote what in the history biz are called "popular histories" (ie: history books that make money).  His name was Stephen Ambrose and he got the World War II Museum built in New Orleans. If you knew anybody that served in World War II, you need to see this museum. It is a gem.

Paul Simon called New Orleans "the city of my dreams". I don't know about that, but it is a good place to visit with good food. Just keep your shirt pulled down, missy.