Sunday, April 2, 2023

The Venn Diagram Of Trump

 

 


 If there was a Venn diagram of Trump and his 2024 Presidential candidacy, it would look like this:

The first circle would be Trump himself.  If there's one thing Donald Trump likes to talk about,  it is Donald Trump. The boy loves himself, that's for sure.  If he lost the nomination in 2024, I'm sure he'd run again in 2028.  He likes seeing himself on TV and having his name on everybody's tongue.

The second circle would be the MAGA people. These people love Trump almost as much as Trump loves himself. Trump does no wrong except when he listens to "RINOs."  

For example, The New York Young Republicans issued this statement when Trump was indicted by the New York District Attorney for the reason that Trump paid blackmail money to a horseface porn star:

“President Trump embodies the American people—our psyche from id to super-ego—as does no other figure; his soul is totally bonded with our core values and emotions, and he is our total and indisputable champion. This tremendous connection threatens the established order,” The fix has always been ‘in’ against our President, but his motivation and love for the American people drove him to pursue the national excellence that his unique vision perceived lay within our reach. In doing so, he opened so many eyes to reality.”

 Geez, guys. Get a room.

 As much as I like lower gas prices, higher wages, and a conservative Supreme Court, I don't think Trump "embodies the American people" unless skipping the draft, marrying three times, and swearing like a sailor is part of our core values.   


They say Trump is for the "liddle guy."  The guy the hooty-snooty news media do not like because he doesn't need a biologist to define what a woman is.  Trump took on all of the "Swamp Creatures", both the Democratic and Republican (RINOS!) and beat them.  He ran circles around them, and they never knew what hit them.

The third circle, of course, would represent the Democrats.  They need Trump because they have a "Joe problem".

The problem with Joe Biden is that he is way too old to be President and it shows.

His reaction to the awful school shooting in Nashville illustrates it.  First, Joe meanders into a room full of people. Then, instead of commenting on what is on everyone's mind, Joe talks about what is on his mind: ice cream. Here's the official White House transcript.

THE PRESIDENT:  Thank you.  My name is Joe Biden.  (Laughter.)  I’m Dr. Jill Biden’s husband.  (Laughter.)  And I eat Jeni’s Ice Cream, chocolate chip.  (Laughter.)  I came down because I heard there was chocolate chip ice cream.  (Laughter.)

By the way, I have a whole refrigerator full upstairs.  (Laughter.)  You think I’m kidding, I’m not.

Ben, how are you, pal? 

SENATOR CARDIN:  Well.

THE PRESIDENT:  One of the best guys in the United States Congress, Ben Cardin.  (Applause.)

Folks, welcome to the White House.

AUDIENCE:  Thank you.

THE PRESIDENT:  And it’s a delight to have you all here.  And who are those good-looking kids back here?  (Laughter.)

MS. BLAKELY:  Those are my kids.

THE PRESIDENT:  They’re your kids?  All four of them?

MS. BLAKELY:  Yes.

THE PRESIDENT:  Well, stand up, guys.  (Laughter and applause.)

Well, I want you to know, like you, I had two brothers — there were three in our family, three brothers, and one sister.  And my sister is smarter than all of us.  (Laughter.)  Not a joke. 

She used to be three years younger than me; now she’s 23 years younger than me.  (Laughter.)  You know, she managed every one of my campaigns for office, even back when I was in high school.  We went to the same university two years apart.  She graduated with honors; I graduated.  (Laughter.)  And we had a simple rule in the family: Listen to Val.  (Laughter.)  My sister, Valerie, is incredible.

So, guys, be nice to your sister.  You’re going to need her.  (Laughter.)  You’re going to need her.  I promise.

It’s the same lineup.  You’re the oldest?  Who’s number two?  Number two?  Who’s number three?

AUDIENCE MEMBER:  It’s both.

THE PRESIDENT:  You’re twins?  Are you guys twins?

AUDIENCE MEMBER:  No, we’re not twins.  (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT:  Okay.  All right.  Just how — just how it was in our outfit.  Well, I’m so glad to see you all, and thanks for coming with mom.  Okay?

You got to take care of your mom.  Dads are much harder to raise.  But, you know, we’re — (laughter)

There's a "you think I'm kidding" (why would we?), a "no joke" (true I did not see a joke) and some Las Vegas style banter. (Hey, we got somebody from Maryland in the HOUSE!)

The website I consulted "fact checked" the snarky mean old right wingers saying it was "out of context". The President was there to give a speech to women's summit and it did eventually get around to mentioning the Nashville shooting.  Even putting it "in context", it was odd.

The Democrats know the President is a couple of months away from doing a press conference in his bathrobe and pajamas. You can't run against a young man (DeSantis) or a young woman  (Haley). You have to run against Fatty McNarcissist to have a chance.

Thus, the biggest smiles this week over a poll showing Trump expanding a thirty-point lead over DeSantis were at The White House. The Biden people know they beat Trump once and they will beat him again.

You know who is not in The Venn Diagram. Most people. Trump won in 2016 because he wasn't Hillary Clinton. He lost 2020 because acted like a baboon. Biden won because he wasn't Trump. I don't see how Trump can win the states he lost in 2020.  Even in my beloved state of Georgia, we have little tolerance for that loudmouth loser Yankee.

If Trump is the nominee, will I vote for Trump?  No. 

Will I vote for Biden?  No, child, no

 



Sunday, March 19, 2023

Mr. Guilty

 

 "Call me Mr. Guilty,
Mr. Guilty, that's my name.
Without a doubt it is all my fault,
I'm the one to blame" ~ Loudon Wainwright III

 

Apologies are in order.

I watched the last minute of the Kennesaw State versus Xavier University game.  I thought Kennesaw (pronounced "Kenny-saw") State had more than a puncher's chance to defeat the Mighty Musketeers of Xavier University in a basketball game between two comical college nicknames.

Kennesaw State's cheer is "Hooty Hoo".  That strikes fear in the hearts for their opponents. 

I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation of Xavier. Is it "X-avier" or is it "Zavier"?

I will say both The Owls and Musketeers are better nicknames than what Whitter University, the Alma Mater of Richard Nixon has:  The Poets. So how do you cheer for The Poets? "Way to rhyme" is about it.

Kennesaw State won the ASUN Conference Championship by defeating Liberty University.  Because of this, Kennesaw State won a spot in the NCAA Division I Basketball Tournament, better known as "March Madness".

Poor little old Kennesaw State, the college up I-75, down the street from The Cracker Barrel, was the only Georgia college invited to "March Madness".  It wasn't the Bulldogs, and it wasn't The Yellow Jackets. It was The Owls.

To say I and the other Kennesaw State alums were happy is an understatement.  We were thrilled. We were ecstatic. 

Kennesaw State started as Kennesaw Junior College. From there, it became Kennesaw College. It had "rolling admissions, " meaning anybody could enroll in Kennesaw College.  That's how I got in. 

Back then, it was a charmless place to go to school.  Kennesaw was trying to make a name for itself, so the classes were challenging, and the grading was often arbitrary and capricious. At least it seemed that way. Actually, I learned the phrase "arbitrary and capricious" in a Business Law class, so maybe I did learn something.

The professors seemed like they'd rather be somewhere else, like at a real school, without all of these dumb-dumb students.

The students hated it because they had heard about the great time their friends had at UGA, Auburn, Alabama, et al., with students their own age. At that time, the average student at Kennesaw was "non-traditional" (old as dirt).

After I graduated ("Praise Lawd" instead of Cum Laude), things began to change at Kennesaw.  It became Kennesaw State College and offered MBA degrees, allowing all those working Bulldog graduates to become Kennesaw State Owls.

In 1996, Kennesaw State College became Kennesaw State University. However, Kennesaw State lacked one thing:  Big Time sports.

Kennesaw State had sports teams.  I used to take my son to Kennesaw State baseball games. There were some games we were the only ones in the stands not related to a player.

The same way for basketball. Sparsely populated stands watching a fairly competitive NCAA II team. They even won the NCAA II championship one year.  I don't think there was a parade.

Kennesaw State finally began a football program and had some success in the FCS.  The Kennesaw State-Jacksonville State game I attended was one of the most enjoyable football games I've ever seen.

Somewhere down the line, basketball fell down the wayside.  Georgia and Tech were not doing any better, but the Owls hit hard times. Three years ago, Kennesaw State was 1-28.

Then last week, out of nowhere, Kennesaw State "punched their ticket," as they say on TV, to "The Big Dance."

I figured Kennesaw State would be a 16th seed. But, nope, they were the 14th seed and played the 3rd seed, Xavier.

Here's where I come in.

Ever since the Falcons' Super Bowl loss to The New England Patriots after leading 28-3, I have become convinced that I transmit "loser rays" to my teams, causing them to mess up. 

When the Braves won The World Series, I didn't watch any of the games because the Houston Astros would hit a home run or something as soon as I did.

In fact, in the 9th inning, with Braves up 7-1 in the sixth game, I turned on the TV to see an Astro stroke the ball to right field.  It was only a single, but I turned off the set and watched the game via Tweets on Twitter.

My wife had the game on in her office. She instructed me:  "Don't you dare come in here and watch this game".

My wife would holler out the score to me.

Finally, with a minute left, Kennesaw State was within striking distance of Xavier, and I made the fateful decision to watch the last minute of the game.

That's when Xavier started to pull away and ultimately won the game.  They even showed a "sad" Kennesaw State fan, which I never thought I would see in my life.

So, it was all my fault. Next time, I will listen to my wife and not watch to prevent anything like this to happen again

But, hey, y'all were there, and sometimes that's a victory too.

 



Sunday, March 12, 2023

Come Monday

 

 


Is there a song you remember where you were the first time you heard it?

I remember where I was the first time I heard Jimmy Buffett's "Come Monday".

First, a little explanation is in order.

I was raised in Cobb County, Georgia.  More accurately, I was raised in the eastern part of Cobb County.  If you take a right coming from Atlanta at The Big Chicken (a KFC restaurant that looks like a chicken), you are in East Cobb.

In the early '70s, Atlanta was a happening place. Atlanta had a swinging nightlife and four professional sports teams if you didn't look at their records: The Braves, Falcons, Hawks, and Flames.

Marietta, the largest town in Cobb County, was conveniently located near Interstate 75, which theoretically would take you to Atlanta in a short period of time, depending upon your definition of "short period of time". However, calculating how long it would take you to get from Cobb County to anywhere in Atlanta was impossible. It relied on many factors: rain, snow, the threat of snow, Led Zepplin at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. various days before a holiday, school starting, school ending, and how many auto accidents happened that day.

This made Marietta a place to live and by 1973, East Cobb was busting at the seams. The Cobb County School Board decided to build a new high school. But, before that school opened (named "Walton" after John-Boy Walton, a popular character on a TV show), my high school (Wheeler) was forced to use Split Sessions. Split Sessions meant the upperclassmen (juniors and seniors) had to go to school in the morning and the lowerclassmen  (sophomores and freshmen) went to school in the afternoon.

I was a freshman in 1974, and this meant I could watch Johnny Carson and wake up around 8:00 (9:00,10:00) the following day. 

I had a clock radio set to wake me up with the tunes played on WFOM 1230. I heard these words one morning: "Headin' up to San Francisco for the Labor Day Weekend Show. I got my Hush Puppies on".


It was "Come Monday," and it was the first time I ever heard shoes mentioned in a song that were not blue suede.

 

 I soon learned that "Come Monday" was sung by Jimmy Buffett.  Before Jimmy Buffett, there wasn't an artist like Jimmy Buffett. He sounded country but the songs had a rock feel. Buffett sang a lot about the ocean, the beach, and boats, but he wasn't like The Beach Boys. Buffett was like the guys that worked and lived in the various beach towns in the South.

"Come Monday" was on his second major album, "Living And Dying In 3/4 Time", and the album cover features Buffett sitting on a grounded boat named "Good Luck".  This is an example of Buffett's good-natured wit. Wit was in short supply at that time of the '70s.

The album starts with "Pencil-Thin Mustache", a nostalgic boomer ditty about writing fan letters to "Sky King's Penny".  I wonder if anyone under 60 understands that lyric?

 

I bought the "Come Monday" 45 and the song on the B side was "The Wino And I Know".  The first line: "Ice cream man is a hillbilly fan, got 78s by Hank Snow".  Nobody in 1974 sang about Hank Snow, not even on the country stations.


The second verse of "The Wino And I Know" puzzled me: "Cough fey strom at the Cafe Dumong, donuts are too hard to touch. Just like a fool at Sweet Billy's School, I ate till I eat way too much".

 

Much later, I learned the lyrics were: "Coffee is strong at the Cafe Du Monde, donuts are too hot to touch. Just like a fool when those sweet goodies cooled, I ate till I eat way too much."  Oh well. It was my introduction to Jimmy Buffett and his songs about food.

 

That little 45 made me a Jimmy Buffett fan even when few of my classmates knew him.  A few years later, Buffett released "Changes In Attitudes, Changes In Latitudes," which included his biggest song, "Margaritaville".

 

Looking for that lost shaker of salt after stepping on a pop top sent Buffett from being a singer-songwriter to a vast corporation.  In 2017, Buffett, who hasn't had a hit record since the Carter Administration*, had a net worth of $550 million.

But I still like the Jimmy Buffett** of 1974, who wrote this song about his girlfriend. He married that girl.

 


 



*Yes, I know about "Five O'Clock Somewhere".  I consider that an Alan Jackson song. Shut up. 

  

**I know several people who have met Jimmy Buffett. The story is the same. "I walked into a bar and there was Jimmy Buffett". One friend, action writer Allen Gregory said he was limping into a bar and Buffett stopped him and asked what happened.  Gregory told Buffett that he had stepped on a pop top. The rest is history.

 

 

 

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Papa Pooh

 

Last week's big news was Rowan Elliott Manis's entrance into the world. He clocked in at eight pounds, eleven ounces which is heavier than his dad and grandfather were at birth.

He was born at the same hospital, Kennestone (pronounced "Kenny Stone"), as his father, grandfather, and grandmother.

Kennestone is named Kennestone because when it was built in 1948, a person could see Kennesaw Mountain (which is no big whoop because it is practically next door) and Stone Mountain from the roof.

Rowan has ten toes and ten fingers. He is perfect in every way, in case you need to be reminded of that.

He is a very handsome baby. Probably the best-looking baby ever born at Kennestone. I might be prejudiced.

I'm not a person who gets all sentimental or ooey-gooey about events, but there is something very special  seeing your son holding his son for the first time.

Let me explain my grandfather history.

My mother's father died when she was sixteen, and it was a looooooooong time before I was born. My mother said he was the best man she ever knew.  She said he was kind and gentle.

Now my father's father, well, he died a couple of years before I was born and he was, as Southern women would say back then, a pill (pronounced "peal").

He was a "farmer" in the sense that he had some land with cows, horses, chickens, moonshine stills, etc.  My dad said he used to go on "cattle drives" with his dad.  Dad said he also saw him beat a hired hand with a chain. Not a nice guy.

My point is that I never had a grandfather, so I have nobody to model. So, Rowan, I'm just going to wing it.

Hopefully, I'll be able to give Rowan some pleasant memories, like John Prine had of his grandfather that he put in the song "Grandpa Was A Carpenter".


Grandpa wore his suit to dinner nearly everyday,

no particular reason he just dressed that way.

Brown necktie, matching vest, both his wing-tipped shoes;

he built a closet on our back porch, put a penny in a burnt-out fuse.


I am a little worried that one of these days, Rowan will write a song called "Grandpa Was A Blogger" or "Grandpa Was A History Major".

 

Knowing that I am somebody's grandfather is a tad bit weird. 


It seems like yesterday I was a "young man". Now, I must explain "Leave It To Beaver" to people.  ("It was about a kid named Theodore who they called Beaver, because, I don't know why they just did. Not much ever happened on the show, except Beaver joined a record club which my mom always referred to, but I never saw that episode and I never got that lesson. Wait, come back here!")

 

You shake your head thinking about the simple concepts people are missing today. For example, if you take a loan, you should pay it back, even if you went to a fancy hoop-de-do college. You hope your grandchild has good old fashion common sense, something his grandfather never had a lot of (see "majoring in history").

Mainly you hope your grandchild knows that his grandparents loves him simply because that's what grandparents do best.

In case you are wondering, we have announced our grandparent "names".  This is a big Boomer Generation deal, sort of like Woodstock

If you don't know, it is no longer "Grandfather and Grandmother."  Most of the time, the grandparent names Boomers give themselves sound like grunts coming out of the mouths of babies. 


Our names are "Moo-Moo" for my wife.  I am "Papa Pooh".   For this, you can blame Bill Wade.

Bill Wade was my friend who passed away last fall. He nicknamed me "Ally Pooh" in college. It is a long story. But, over time, it became  "Pooh".  I guess it sounded more masculine.


When Lori and I married, Bill called her,  "Lori Lou-Lou".  Somewhere along the line, it became "Moo-Moo".   Of course, my son had to explain to his future wife why he called his parents Moo and Pooh.  She married him anyway.

But, Rowan will call us what he wants and it will be fine with us because grandchildren are perfect and he is no exception.




 


Sunday, February 19, 2023

The Kids Are All Right


If you don't know anything about Christianity in general or Evangelicalism in particular, you won't know what to make of what's going on at Asbury University, a small, conservative Methodist college in Kentucky.*

Here is what happened. This comes from Dr. Thomas McCall, a theology professor at Asbury Theological Seminary.


"Most Wednesday mornings at Asbury University are like any other. A few minutes before 10, students begin to gather in Hughes Auditorium for chapel. Students are required to attend a certain number of chapels each semester, so they tend to show up as a matter of routine.**


But this past Wednesday was different. After the benediction, the gospel choir began to sing a final chorus—and then something began to happen that defies easy description. Students did not leave. They were struck by what seemed to be a quiet but powerful sense of transcendence, and they did not want to go. They stayed and continued to worship. They are still there."


People have begun to talk and are trying to evaluate what the, uh, heck, is going on at Asbury. Some say it is The Holy Spirit. Some say it is just youthful emotionalism. 

 

 

Dr. McCall continues, "I teach theology across the street at Asbury Theological Seminary, and when I heard of what was happening, I immediately decided to go to the chapel to see for myself. When I arrived, I saw hundreds of students singing quietly. They were praising and praying earnestly for themselves and their neighbors and our world—expressing repentance and contrition for sin and interceding for healing, wholeness, peace, and justice."


Of course, our virtual public square, Twitter, has commented. 


One guy, a Baptist, posted a Tweet that criticized the kids for not using the King James Version of the Bible. He also noted, to his horror, that some of the kids were Methodists. You know how they are.


Mike Cosper tweeted, "Christian Twitter’s response to the Asbury Revival is a vivid case study in disenchantment. The need to posture, condescend, add an asterisk, and otherwise position oneself above the situation is ultimately an effort to make meaning of it within immanence."


I don't know what "an effort to make meaning of it with immanence" means, but I think he's saying don't make a big deal out of a bunch of Gen  Z kids not reading the King James Version of The Bible out loud.


Here's my opinion, in the words of Pink Floyd: Leave them kids alone.


The senior class at Asbury University entered school in the fall of 2019. Then, in the spring of 2020, Covid hit. I'm unsure how Asbury handled it, but I'm sure classes were held virtually. 


Of course, everybody had to wear a mask. Everybody was isolated in one way or another.


On top of that, the past seven or so years have been continuous. Everybody is yelling at everybody else because they simply hate each other. There are wars and rumors of wars, and now, oh Lord, there are balloons.


The Millennials had to move back home to make ends meet. Gen Z couldn't even leave the house.


Back in my insurance days, one of my co-workers would say, "There's got to be a better way."  That's what the kids of Asbury are saying.

 

 

Again from Dr. McCall. "Some are calling this a revival, and I know that in recent years that term has become associated with political activism and Christian nationalism. But let me be clear: no one at Asbury has that agenda. As an analytic theologian, I am weary of hype and very wary of manipulation. I come from a background (in a particularly revivalist segment of the Methodist-holiness tradition) where I’ve seen efforts to manufacture “revivals” and “movements of the Spirit” that were sometimes not only hollow but also harmful. I do not want anything to do with that.


And truth be told, this is nothing like that. There is no pressure or hype. There is no manipulation. There is no high-pitched emotional fervor.

 

To the contrary, it has so far been mostly calm and serene. The mix of hope and joy and peace is indescribably strong and indeed almost palpable—a vivid and incredibly powerful sense of shalom. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is undeniably powerful but also so gentle."

 

It is wild to think the Spirit of God would come to a small school in Kentucky when it could come to the red carpet at The Oscars and have everybody experience it.  But God moves in mysterious ways, and his still, small voice is saying the kids are all right.

 

Footnotes


*Here's a fun fact. The school was named after Francis Asbury, a famous Methodist preacher. Do you know who else was named after Francis Asbury?  NFL Hall Of Famer Fran Tarkington.

 

**When I went to Louisiana College, we had chapels and boy were they routine. 

 




Sunday, February 12, 2023

Rock On, Eddie Vedder


Bob Dylan said in one of his bootleg songs, "Death kept followin', tracking us down".  Last week, death tracked down a friend of my son. His name was Miles.

When a young man dies, it is generally from an accident, like a car wreck. Sometimes it is from drugs. Sometimes it is from being in the wrong place at the wrong time and a gun goes off. Sometimes it is war.

It was nothing like that with Miles. He had breakfast with his wife and then went into another room to practice his guitar. He never came out. 

He was thirty-two years old.

In middle school and high school, kids try to find their niche. For some it is sports. For some it is studies.  But for others, it is rock and roll. Miles was all about rock and roll. He came by it honestly. His dad was a good musician and Miles began playing the guitar and bass.

Miles went to the same church we did and I knew Miles from The Student Ministry where I helped out being "one of the Dads".  I'm not sure what the Dads actually did.  Our mere presence probably prevented all sorts of teenage Baptist debauchery. (By the way, Teenage Baptist Debauchery would be a good name for a band.)

Miles plugged in his guitar and helped with the Wednesday Night Worship Band that was sometimes sloppy but they made up for it by being loud.

It was there I saw that Miles had talent. Oh yeah, the boy could  play.

Trying to be hip to the young whippersnapper,  I called Miles "Eddie Vedder", after the frontman for Pearl Jam . He laughed and called me "Eddie Vedder" too. Soon, we were both calling each other Eddie Vedder. Thinking about that in this sad time makes me smile.

You think you know the kids your kid hangs around, but you really don't. You are an adult and you like Jimmy Buffett and have Plantar Facitis.  But this I know about Miles. He was always a polite and nice kid that could absolutely shred an electric guitar.

Rock on, Eddie Vedder. Rock on.

 





Sunday, February 5, 2023

Here They Come

 

 

Oh boy! Can't you feel the excitement?

Next year, The Republican Party will nominate a candidate for President. Here's a quick look at the potential candidates and their odds of winning the nomination.



Former President Donald J. Trump.  He's been running since he left D.C. without bothering to go to Joe Biden's Inauguration. Since then, he's been commenting daily on how the election was stolen from him. Yadda, yadda, yadda.  He's got a strong hold of about 35% of The GOP electorate, which considers everybody a RINO  except for Trump. So it becomes a matter of simple math. If the GOP field includes a bunch of candidates, Trump will win. If not, and the GOP fields only a couple of candidates, things get dicier for Trump to win. A lot of people are already anointing him as the nominee mainly because Trump tends to get what Trump wants (Casinos, Super Models, Porn Stars, and the Presidency)  I'm not so sure.  There's a "been there-done that" vibe to this time around.  Trump is doing the same shtick he's always done and voters might be tired of it in 2024



Gov. Ron DeSantis.  The Florida governor is not like the last Florida governor Trump beat up in 2016.  He's young and intelligent.  He's attracting negative attention on Twitter because he's seen as the heir apparent to Trump and is quickly becoming The Florida Man Hitler. If he gets Trump one-on-one early, I think he can become the nominee. If not, he'll get lost because his vote will be split between the other Non-Trump candidates.

 


 



Sen. Ted Cruz.   The guy who came in second in 2016.  In the world BT (Before Trump), Cruz would be the nominee because the GOP always nominated The Guy Who Came In Second the next time.Think of Romney, McCain, Dole, and Dad Bush. (Bill Clinton's great quote: "Democrats fall in love and Republicans fall in line".)  Even though he is very intellegent, Cruz has one of the most punchable faces in politics since Richard Nixon. Sorry, Ted, you don't have a prayer.

 


 

 


Gov. Chris Christie.  Way back when, this blog predicted that Chris Christie would become President simply because he was the exact opposite of President Obama.  Turns out another husky loud mouth won instead.  Christie tried to help Trump, which Trump listened to maybe twenty per-cent of the time.  Christie had the best line about Trump as President when he said Trump reminded him of a salesman that worked out of the trunk of his car.  Christie is bright and articulate.  He is also fat—William Howard Taft fat.  Body shaming will come back in style if Christie becomes the nominee.  Can Christie win? Fat chance. (Sorry)

 


 



Secretary of State Mike Pompeo.  Here's how I knew Pompeo would run for President: he lost a lot of weight.  He looks good and could be a spokesman for Nutrisystem if the Presidential thing doesn't work out. Which it probably won't.  Pompeo is another one of those success stories- he graduated first in his class from West Point, he was a Congressman, along with being Secretary of State. He definitely has the candle power to be President.  However, he doesn't give out hats like Trump does. He could, maybe, possibly, become Trump's 2.0 running mate.  I just don't see him winning.

 


 


Ambassador Nikki Haley.  I find Haley's candidacy exciting  and I'm not just saying that because she's easy on the eyes, unlike the rest the candidates.  She would flip the script with all of the smarty-pants Ivy League school Twitter kids who paint the Republicans as old fat white men who listen to Classic Rock.  She has immigrant parents and probably knows a little about football despite going to Clemson. (Editor's Note: This joke would have been a lot funnier if Haley went to the University of South Carolina.) It's going to be hard to paint her as a female Hitler, but one thing we've learned about the late millennials and Gen-Zers is they are very creative. She could win if DeSantis flames out and it becomes a choice between a pretty young woman and an old fat man.

 


 



Vice President Mike Pence.  One of the two people the MAGA Mob  despises, above all others, even more than Mitch McConnell, is Mike Pence (the other one is Liz Cheney). Mike didn't go along with Trump's concoction about the 2020 election and that put Pence on the bad list.  You would think it would put him on the good list with other people. It doesn't work that way.  It will be interesting to see Trump go after Pence in the debates. Trump will call him disloyal-remind Pence that he found Pence in the gutter selling pencils and made him Vice President.  For this  entertainment value alone, Pence should run.  Pence's chances: slim to none and Slim has left town.